Impact
by Shinosuke
Summary: Sequel to Falling. The war tore them apart, now nothing stands in their way. But healing isn't always as easy as it seems. Can they make it?
1. Prologue

**A/N:** Hello everyone. I'm sorry this sequel is so late in coming but I struggled a lot with the plot. I was unsure which direction to take it. But then, I was unsure where Falling was going when I started that too, and look how that turned out!

I've been meaning to answer a few questions and comments I never got to reply to. If I've forgotten any, feel free to remind me.

**What's with the random bold letters throughout the chapters?** – Well… The truth is, that was accidental. Those were the corrections of my Beta. I thought they were just highlighted, not bolded. So I only un-highlighted before posting and didn't notice the bolded letters. Sorry for the confusion! (If you're thinking that's a lame explanation, well the truth is… it is. Lame, I mean. :] )

**Why didn't you include more Ron and Hermione?** – I actually did that on purpose, (sometimes I manage to think ahead). Young love is very powerful and consuming. Most times, the first time you fall in love, you become so wrapped up in that person that you begin to completely neglect and forget other friends and family. I planned from the beginning to write a story that focused pretty much on two characters because it focused a lot on a room that only Harry and Draco could see.

**Are you really going to write a sequel? –** Answer = yes.

That's all I can remember. XD

Btw, yes, I know I suck at summaries. Don't remind me.

Please remember while reading this, that I, as an author, have changed. I'm more mature now than I was and that will show in the characters. After all, they've also grown since the last story.

And don't freak out, only this prologue is written in first person.

Also, I'll make you all a deal. If this breaks 20 reviews, I'll immediately post the next chapter. :]

Well, without further ado, here's the sequel so many of you asked (threatened) for.

* * *

><p><strong>Impact<br>**

* * *

><p><strong>Prologue<strong>

_It all ends here…_

It's been a hell of a journey too; but this is most certainly the last stretch of it. I don't know how I ever imagined that being a spy would be better for me when it all ended; that I'd be safe no matter who won. I can't comprehend the thoughts and logic that had seemed so unquestionable to me less than a year ago. I don't understand the person I used to be.

I've changed.

I understand now—now that the end is so tangible I can nearly feel it on my skin, that only Harry's victory will spell success for me. He has to win. He _has to_. If he doesn't…

I can't even allow myself to consider it. I won't finish that thought.

It doesn't feel like I'm a year older. It feels like I'm _ten_ years older, like an eternity has passed since I last felt young; since I last felt free. Last summer was eons ago but I remember almost every excruciating second of it.

Those first few months were hellish. Snape and I were constantly on the run. We apparated here and there, always cautious of the Aurors looking to kill us on sight. We camped a lot during that time, in the country side, keeping far from cities and towns. But as the weeks wore on, Dumbledore's death took its toll on the world. Voldemort gained more power and we had less to fear. There were a few times that we'd briefly stayed with other Death Eaters, taking refuge among their recruits and taking part in their rituals.

It was in one of those homes, that I got my first order to kill. Not even an order from the Dark Lord, simply from a Death Eater that ranked above me. I had to obey. I had to kill a girl with my own hands. I don't think her screams ever quite left my ears. When it's very quiet, if I listen close, I can still hear her.

Even though the Death Eaters we stayed with were stupid and mindlessly cruel, I've always been secretly glad that Snape and I didn't go directly back to Malfoy manor. I know that for a while, I was only barely holding myself together. If I'd been around more intelligent, observant people I would've been found out right away. I fell apart every time I so much as heard someone say his name…

Harry Potter.

The boy who lived. The boy I should hate but I most certainly don't. The boy that I loved and left, that I betrayed, that I _broke_. It still causes me pain to think about, I'm beginning to think it always will. But at least I can hold in my winces now. At least, I no longer sob as quietly as I can at night, like the weakling I'm beginning to accept I truly am.

After those first long tumultuous weeks of running from place to place, things began to calm down. I started to put myself back together. I remembered who I was, what I was doing, _who_ I was doing it for. I found new strength, a determination that I hadn't seen in myself before. I wouldn't fuck up. I wouldn't let this all be for nothing. I'd do anything, whatever it took, to make my betrayal worthwhile. The pressure of it, of knowing that I absolutely couldn't let him down again, was suffocating. Eventually though, I began to push past it, and then, I began to flourish in it.

I returned to Malfoy manor about halfway through the summer, though Snape continued to travel. I thought that because I'd finally learned to stop sniveling and whining that I'd be ready to face Voldemort, that I'd be strong enough to do it. I was wrong, as I'm beginning to accept I frequently am.

He was terrifying.

I felt like he could see right through me, like absolutely no part of me was barred from his eyes. I felt like I was worthless, like he was a God and I was an insect. He was absolutely terrifying, and I, as part of the inner circle had to sit in the same room as him. I had to pretend not to be disgusted by him; had to bow and cater to and _love_ him.

I was stupid to have thought my surname would garner me any respect. My family was torn apart. My mother killed as a traitor, my father was blank faced and absent from his own mind, stripped of his wand by Voldemort himself. And my crazy old aunt Bella was obsessed with killing Lupin and his Auror wife. That reputation would get me no where. It took only one meeting for me to understand that the Malfoys were kept in the inner circle only as an example of how far the mighty can fall. We were a laughing stock.

I realized then that I would have to assert myself as a separate entity from the rest of my family. I could not make a name for myself as a Malfoy; I had to do it as myself, as _Draco_. I had to distance myself from the stigma of failure that my last name now carried. I had to get close to the Dark Lord and learn his secrets so I could give them to Harry. I didn't understand everything about what Harry was doing, but I figured it must be the Horcruxes.

Harry only ever mentioned them to me once, and then promptly clammed up about it. That's what made it stick out actually, his refusal to talk about it further. I had to study it on my own to truly understand what it was. And even the Malfoy library, full of books on dark and forbidden magic, had limited information about Horcruxes. Still, I learned enough to know that the best way to defeat Voldemort would be to find out what the Horcruxes were and where they were hidden. To do that, I'd have to get _extremely_ close to him, and even then I might not find out. And I had almost no time to work my way up from the bottom. Snape had had _years_, and I didn't think even he could ask Voldemort about Horcruxes without getting killed…

So I did absolutely everything I could, including giving what little information and insight I could about Harry. I was confident the boy would always manage to slip away no matter what hints I gave Voldemort; that's what Harry was best at after all. And the Dark Lord slowly but surely became more and more pleased with me.

I was the one who guessed Harry would be leaving his muggle home on brooms, even before that rat Mundungus sold him out. I was the one who figured out which of the seven Harry's was him. I'd memorized his flying style and I knew him so thoroughly it was only a matter of looking him in the face to figure it out. I know he saw me that night on my Nimbus 2001, and his widened eyes haunted my dreams for weeks afterwards.

I didn't know if he had already given up on me, if he hated me, if I would go straight to Azkaban after he won. I'd have given anything to talk to him… Anything…

I only had a very short amount of time before school started again and I tried to do everything I could to gain rank. My father was unsurprisingly unhelpful. Ever since my mother died, his eyes glazed over. It was almost like he wasn't there anymore, even though his body was. He was a walking corpse. Still, I think he knew even from the very first day that I returned that something in me had changed. He'd give me the oddest looks sometimes…

Luckily, despite my father mostly ignoring me, Voldemort took notice of me. I made sure he did. I forced myself to look him in the face bravely, as I'd only ever seen a few do. I bowed to him, and catered to his oversized ego. I whispered my praises and adoration like Bellatrix whilst still standing strong and sure of myself. I knew he liked it better that way. What kind of accomplishment is it to have power over the meek and mindless? It's much better to see those who are confident, arrogant, self assured, bow before you.

I thought he liked to see me bow because of the power trip it gave him. I thought he might respect me as a servant. Hell, I thought I was on the right track, that soon I'd have information for Harry. But of course, I was unprepared. I was so young back then…

Which brings me to the day I met Astoria. I thought I was so much better than her. I hated her just for existing. Just because she had absolutely no fucking right to waltz around my home with dark hair and green eyes.

She wasn't the only guest at the manor, and not by far the only student. In the backlash of Dumbledore's death, the Ministry tried to stop as many Death Eaters as they could by seizing assets and land. Malfoy manor was one of the few protected enough not to be taken. But those Death Eaters that were displaced frequently stopped over, just as Snape and I had in the houses of others. Students, too young to do anything about their situation, stayed at the manor where they could be close to their Lord.

But I didn't care about those other not-so-welcome guests. It was _her_, with her snarky comments and unexpected resiliency. She was infuriatingly innocent and had a blind trust in me that I couldn't understand. Sure, she was cunning and sharp tongued, as any good Slytherin should be, but she was also annoyingly optimistic and almost childlike in her ignorance.

I hated her, because it only took me a week to realize that I loved her. She stirred some protective quality in me that I never knew I had.

It wasn't my fault! She was just so… _vulnerable_! She wasn't cut out for the life of a Death Eater. She wouldn't have made it on her own. I had to keep her from getting killed…

In the end, she turned out to be an invaluable asset and an irreplaceable friend.

She found out about my connection to Harry. Because I was an idiot and she saw my bracelet. I hardly ever took it off back then, it was too painful. It was like I was letting him go, like I was leaving him behind again. I shoved it as far up my forearm as I could get it and pulled my sleeve down over it, but I didn't take it off.

I was angry and scared when she saw it. I thought I'd have to kill her, and I really didn't want to. But instead, she surprised me with a soft understanding smile and promised to help me. She wanted to be safe after the war too. I was the one who was able to promote her enough so that she could receive her Dark Mark, and I would also be the one to protect her from prison when Harry won. She was safe either way and was more loyal to me than she ever was to Voldemort.

I felt sort of guilty for getting her the Dark Mark. When I'd first met her, she was little more than a servant among the ranks of Death Eaters, and the Mark is a great honor, not just given out to anyone. I was the one who recommended her, kept her close by my side, and eventually the Dark Lord "rewarded" her with his mark on her forearm. It was necessary, it would keep her safe, but she was just so… endearingly sweet. She wasn't made to be a killer, a torturer, an evil sick person like me. She couldn't have handled the things I'd had to do. She cried for days from the pain of her arm and I tried my best to soothe her. She was my closest and nearly only friend as time wore on.

She kept me level when I was losing my mind. She was the one who came up with the idea of how to contact Harry; a message paper. It was similar to the kind used for announcements; in which the head of a department, or something or other, could write down an announcement and the words would appear on announcement boards for others to see. Banal and yet ingenious. She even altered and preformed the spell herself. It only worked one way. I could write on a piece of paper and the words would sink in and appear on another piece of paper, no matter how far away. But the receiver could not send anything back.

Ingenious, like I said.

It was my idea, however, to enlist Dobby's help for getting it to Harry; since neither Astoria nor I could really venture far once school started. Dobby didn't tell me how he did it. Only that he wasn't seen when he left it with Harry, as I had requested.

My clues had to be vague, on the off chance that someone else would read it. But I trusted in Harry's and even Ron and Hermione's intellects. They would figure it out.

Not that I had any clues to give for a long while. Then seemingly out of no where, I caught a break. Voldemort said he wanted someone to carefully monitor Hogwarts. He said that Snape couldn't do it because he'd be busy as Headmaster. Voldemort wanted to listen for gossip and news from the Gryffindors and other Harry supporters, just in case they were getting any information. So he asked me.

I was surprised, since I didn't think such a thing would truly be important to him. What with the Ministry now fallen and the world basically under his thumb, who cares about a few scheming teenagers? But he requested I meet him every week to update him on any changes in the school and report any students of dubious lineage.

Of course I jumped at the chance, thinking maybe I'd be able to further gain his trust. There was never much to report besides a few not so innocent pranks pulled by Neville and Luna. Still, even if there was no new information, he requested a meeting with me every single week.

School was already hell and the Carrows did a damn good job of weeding out those of questionable blood. The discipline at Hogwarts was harsh, and I had to pretend to enjoy it. Who enjoys cruciating an eleven-year-old? Besides Goyle, I mean.

The only way to leave the school was the fireplace in Snape's office. It was connected only to a few key places and the manor was one of them. That's where I met with the Dark Lord. In one of my many trips to the Headmaster's office for the use of his fireplace I was able to catch Dumbledore's portrait unaware. He was sleeping in the frame and mumbling something about Snape's patronus. I didn't understand the information at first, but it came to be monumentally important.

And then of course, reality came crashing back down on me.

It was a typical evening in one of the sitting rooms at the manor. Voldemort was sitting, staring at me intently with his blood colored eyes, while I stood and reported meaningless information.

He cut me off half way through with a long sigh and asked, "How obedient would you be for me, Draco?"

My response was to immediately sink to one knee and bow my head low, "I would do anything you wish, master. If my obedience has been called into question, please allow me to reprove it to you."

He laughed at me. A derisive sort of chuckle really, but I'd never heard the sound from his lips before and I only barely suppressed a shudder.

"Ever a Malfoy," Voldemort said with obvious amusement, "You're a very charismatic boy, you know."

I chanced a look up at him to find a disturbing sort of grin on his face as he gazed down at me.

"And how much do you wish to please your master?" He asked, virtually ignoring what I'd just said.

I think I realized in that moment what he was asking me, but I didn't admit it to myself. I didn't think it was possible. My voice was weak when I replied, "Very, very much, my Lord."

It clicked when he stood and pulled me to my feet. It seemed clearer than ever when he stroked my cheek and whispered about how much pleasure it would give him to entirely own someone as proud as me.

Part of me was screaming, furious with myself for not recognizing this for what it was months ago. I'd rationalized and ignored Voldemort's inexplicable soft spot for me. I'd left myself unprepared and ignorant.

So fucking naïve…

And all this time I'd thought Astoria was the blissfully oblivious one between the two of us.

But in those few seconds, while I watched his thin lips curve up into a smile as he listed the things he wished to do to me, I heard the logical side of myself offering its opinion. This wasn't a disaster, this was an opportunity.

I could save Harry

I could get the clues he needed. I could get closer to Voldemort than probably any of his servants ever had.

I could end this god damned war. It only took a little sacrifice…

So when he leaned in close to kiss me, I didn't push him away, I didn't run screaming or let my disgust show on my face. I allowed it, my only protest a small whimper that I couldn't hold in. I opened my mouth when he wordlessly demanded. I let him do it…

But no, that's not even true.

I couldn't just _let_ him do it. He wouldn't have been satisfied with that. And if I was going to suffer, it'd had better fucking be for a reason. I couldn't just do it halfway; I'd end up still being abused by him and not getting close to him like I wanted. He'd get bored of me if I imitated a mannequin every time he wanted me. I'd still lose to him and not gain what I needed. So I… _participated_. As much as I could without vomiting, that is.

When he pushed me down on the sofa, I realized some things. I learned more about myself and my place in the world. I was constantly growing older, understanding more, realizing things I'd never known; things no one should ever have to know. It was one of the most pivotal nights of the war for me. That was the night I realized, that no matter who killed who, in the end, I'd already lost.

Everyone loses in war.

He was vicious at first. He enjoyed causing me pain as much as he did causing me pleasure, and I had to pretend to enjoy both. For a good servant enjoys whatever makes his master happy, even at the cost of himself.

I'll be the first to admit, the "pleasure" was the worst. Pain was pain; understandable, acceptable, even expected when in the Dark Lord's presence. Pleasure was an embarrassment, a betrayal of my nerve endings against me. That was what I hated the most. Being male, it's not exactly like I could fake an orgasm. I resorted to lust potions, usually reserved for the sexually inadequate. They would leave me in a fog of desire that I could hardly think through until the deed was done. And then I would feel monumentally guilty and revolted by myself. Which is why I began to hate him more and more as the weeks wore on and his violent lust transformed into a sick affection.

The times he would cause me pain became fewer and far between. Instead, he would whisper to me about how we, together, would rule the world. How as soon as Potter was dead and he could claim his rightful throne, I would sit at his right side. I wished he would be violent again, that he would see my body as a thing and not a person. That he could only claim me as an object of sexual desire and not as _me_, not as _Draco_. It didn't matter that suddenly I flew through the ranks of Death Eaters and all those beneath me heeded my word without question. It didn't matter that I was the youngest to ever reach as high as I did. It didn't matter that I managed to talk to Voldemort about my interest in Horcruxes, under the guise of wanting to live forever with him in the new world we would create.

Because it all came back to his unnaturally long fingered hands sliding against my skin. His sharp teeth marking me, his long tongue claiming me. His body forcing itself into mine. His thin lips hissing parseltongue into my ear while he thrust into me; _ruining_ my memories of Harry.

I didn't have the luxury of crying or fighting back, or even just laying unresponsive. I had to act. I had to bare myself before him and moan. I had to beg him for more, hating myself when I did. All the while, only barely managing to remind myself this was all for Harry. All the while, knowing Harry would hate me if he ever found out…

I knew by then though, you have to lose to win.

I did get the information I needed. With my now bi-weekly visits to the Headmaster's office for the use of his floo, I was able to talk to Snape a few times. I knew, despite what the Dark Lord thought, that Snape was still firmly on Harry's side. He knew of my closeness with Harry last year and yet he didn't have me killed; that was proof enough. It wasn't as though I could obliviate him. Snape had a strong mind, the most I could hope to do was keep him out of mine with Occlumency. But there was no way I could successfully take his memories. Some time around then. I realized the importance of his patronus and that was the first clue I ever sent Harry.

"Follow your mate" was all it said, but I knew he'd understand if he saw it.

The next after that was "He-who-**must-not **-be-named." I figured since Harry wasn't caught again for a long time that he must've understood the hint. Voldemort's name now had a Taboo on it and anyone who used it would be immediately caught. The next was, "Do not go to Godric's Hollow." I sent it as soon as I learned about Bathilda Bagshot from another Death Eater. But of course I was too late. Not a day after I wrote it to him, a Death Eater watching the small town reported that Harry had fallen into the trap only to escape again.

I was so worried about him…

And then the bastard had the nerve to show up at my doorstep during my Easter break. I suppose it wasn't exactly his fault but I was still angry and shocked to see him. His face was swollen nearly beyond recognition, but I could tell it was him. I knew him so well… Or I thought I did. I used to, at least…

I tried to get my father to delay calling the Dark Lord. I didn't want Harry caught, after all. But he and my aunt were ecstatic at finally having something to reinstate themselves amongst Voldemort's ranks. They wouldn't be swayed. I tried to be callous when Bella tortured Hermione. But I winced and I know my father saw. I've never been sure why he didn't say anything.

Since, technically, I was above him in the inner circle now, I hadn't made his life easy. It was childish sure, but I felt I needed to get back at him for all the terrible, mean things he did to me and my mother while I was growing up. It was his fault my mother was dead. And when I'd returned, he'd been silent and empty, abandoning me to the mercy of the Death Eaters. For some reason though, he made no move of revenge against me, no matter what suffering or humiliation I put him through.

I was sent to the dungeons to retrieve Griphook. I wanted to say something to Harry, even something cryptic, anything that would at least let him know I wasn't ignoring him. His eyes locked with mine nearly the moment I stepped into the room. But there were too many others there. I couldn't reveal myself. So I simply grabbed the goblin and left as quickly as I could.

When we heard the sounds coming from the dungeons, my heart rose like a levitation charm had been cast upon it. Harry was escaping. Relief flooded me. Until Wormtail was sent to check. Then I was internally gnawing on my lip again with worry. The next thing I knew, the door was crashing open and Bellatrix was disarmed. I immediately pulled my own wand from within my sleeve, trying helplessly to prepare for battle. My wand was wrenched from my hands by Harry, along with the other two he and Ron had been using when they first arrived.

I gaped at him, surprised he would be so cruel, but his eyes were tired and angry. So I backed away, not bothering to fight. I'd noticed the conspicuous absence of his own wand. If he needed mine, he could have it, I didn't care. I knew it always worked well for him. At least, if my memories of the circular room were real and not just delusions my mind had created to cope with the stress.

I'd never dared go back to the room even in all my long boring months at school. I avoided the owlery all together actually. I didn't want to look at what I'd left behind.

He was breathing hard, his eyes alight with sorrow and fury, and then he was just gone. Apparated away with Dobby and Griphook.

I was still trembling when the Dark Lord arrived to find Bellatrix and I wandless with Harry Potter, again, escaped.

My public punishment, torture at his hands, was far lighter that that of my aunt and my father. But that was only for what the others saw. In private, he punished me again.

He was angry when he threw me onto the bed of one of the guest rooms of the manor. I should have known it would be like this, but I'd stupidly thought he'd punish me the same as any other Death Eater. I should've realized; I wasn't being promoted the same way, I wouldn't be punished the same either.

Up until that point in my life, I had never experienced anything so humiliatingly, terrifyingly painful and soul wrecking as that. He beat me into submission, cruciated me into unconsciousness, woke me again and made me lick his feet and beg for forgiveness, fucked me until I couldn't _breathe_… He did things to my body that I will not even think about, that I will not allow myself to remember.I was only barely holding back full choking sobs when he was finished with me. As it was, even after months of hardening myself to the tortures I'd faced before, I couldn't stop the tears that flowed freely down my cheeks. Then he sat with me, stroking my hair and telling me I'd brought this all on myself.

As terrible as he'd been to me, the worst part was the kisses he demanded afterwards. I apologized again and again and he forgave me. He claimed, in fact, that this was a test of my resilience and would only strengthen me for the future I would have with him. His perverse fondness of me made my stomach twist with nausea but I accepted it because I knew the war couldn't last much longer.

I'd already made it this far, I'd already put up with him for months. Just a little longer… It was the only solace I had. It was nearly the only thing that kept me getting up everyday. The hope that it would soon be over. The knowledge that it would all be worth it if I could only persevere for just a little longer.

After my failure, Voldemort wished to meet with me more often, nearly every night. He reasserted his dominance over me, reminded me that he could be as cruel as he could be "kind". His "kindness" was one of his own making. It catered to his God-complex and truly was more destructive than his cruelty, I thought. Still, I obeyed and was able to weasel another tidbit of information from him.

I learned that there was a Horcrux in Gringotts and one in Hogwarts castle. I had no idea what or exactly where they were, but that information alone was priceless. I sent it to Harry without delay.

It was only shortly after that when Voldemort tried to convince me to make a Horcrux of my own. I had said that I wanted to live forever with him, that's the only reason he even let as much information slip as he did. Which truly, was never very much. I had to reason a lot of it out myself.

I persuaded him to let me wait until the end of the school year, claiming to want to concentrate on my studies for a little while longer. It was already spring, it wasn't as though it was a very long wait. I could only pray that the war ended by then.

Which is why now, my heart is pounding in my chest, and I feel like I'm about to pass out because there's pain in my left arm. The pain is not what's making me faint. It's the fact that I know what this means. Harry's made it to Hogwarts.

He's here. And there's very little chance he'll escape again.

This is it.

_It all ends here…_

_It all ends **now!**_


	2. Chapter 1

Impact

**A/N:** Even though I don't have many reviews, I've decided to post early just for Drarrylover77. So everyone give her cookies. She got you an early chapter.

This chapter is based very strongly on the end of book 7 though has been changed a little to fit the plot of Falling. Some dialogue is exactly as J. K. Rowling wrote it and all credit is given to her.

Another question I forgot to answer.

**Why didn't Draco know Voldemort's name was Tom Riddle?**– I was under the impression that Voldemort did not like his childhood and did not speak about it. He shed his past name at the first chance and I don't think everyone knew who he used to be. Or those that did, agreed never to speak the name again. After all, anyone who did a little research on the name Tom Riddle would find that he was a half-blood. But then hey, it's fanfiction.

* * *

><p>Chapter 1<p>

* * *

><p>Draco Malfoy quickly sat up in bed, his right hand going to his left arm, as though covering the mark would make the pain go away. But the physical pain was dulled by the adrenaline rushing through his veins. All thoughts of sleep flitted away and he hastily stood and began to dress.<p>

Harry was here…Harry was here… Harry was _here_…

He only spared a brief glance at his other dorm mates as they each stood from their beds. They would've also felt the mark, but their reactions were vastly different. Blaise and Theo looked anxious, hesitant to expect anything; while Crabbe and Goyle were both celebrating prematurely.

Draco was dressed long before all of them and was already heading to the common room. He was worried out of his mind already, but he was careful to keep his face slack. He _knew_ this wasn't a false alarm. It never really was. Harry was nearly always where he was reported to have been, it just depended on whether or not he escaped again.

And this time, it all depended on whether or not it was even Harry's _intention_ to escape again.

Draco ignored his other housemates that were up and sitting in the common room. Like Draco, some of them were awakened by the pain of their mark. The rest were awoken by their friends and the sounds of many students up getting dressed. Draco stood tensely for a few minutes, his arms crossed over his chest as he debated what to do. Go out and look for him?

Before he could decide, Astoria came out of the door that led to the girls' dorm. Her face was serious and she came directly to his side. She was holding her left arm, her pale olive green eyes wet with tears. Draco's anxiety seemed to deflate slightly at seeing her and he sighed before wrapping one arm around her shoulders and pulling her close.

She was so like a child. He hated seeing her in pain…

She pressed close to him, breathing softly, "_What're we going to do?_"

Draco bent his head a little so that he could properly whisper to her.

"Wait." Was the only word he could offer in an answer, the movement of his lips hidden from his housemates by her dark brown hair.

So they waited, Draco still patiently holding her as she squeezed at her arm, willing the pain to leave. Draco hardly noticed the throb of his own mark. It had mostly ebbed away, but it always ached. Always.

As time slowly passed, more and more students woke up all coming down to the common room to see what was going on. Groups of friends huddled together, whispering conspiratorially as shifty eyes examined the room. Before Draco could revise his plan to wait, Slughorn burst into the common room, making many people jump from the sudden noise in the previously near silent room.

"Everyone up!" He yelled, red faced and out of breath, "Wake everyone up! We'll be evacuating in just a few moments. Prefects, keep everyone in order! _No wandering off_."

Draco let go of Astoria, reassuring her with a look as he went to go through the boys' dorm with a few other prefects. They went to each dorm room making sure everyone was awake and no one was hiding away to sneak off later.

When he returned, herding a few of the younger years ahead of him, he found that the students were already leaving the common room in a steady stream. He followed them out, his heart still pounding in his chest no matter how hard he tried to calm it. Where were they evacuating to? How could he get out of it? Obviously, he couldn't leave the castle. He needed to be here, to stay here, for Harry…

Slughorn led them to the Great Hall and the students all began to sit. The other houses were filing in as well, taking their seats at their respective tables. When most of the Slytherin students were seated, and Draco felt he had fulfilled the role of prefect, even though his mind had hardly been on the task, he took a seat among those of his own year. Pansy was on his left, Goyle on his right.

"Why are we evacuating if Potter's in the castle?" Pansy leaned over to whisper to him, "We should try to capture him instead."

Draco shook his head at the dark haired girl. She'd finally let her hair go back to it's natural color though Draco wasn't ever sure why she'd bothered trying to be blond in the first place. All that silly stuff about becoming a Malfoy, he'd supposed. Still, it was easier for him now to write her off. She'd changed over the last year, made bitter by the war. The visible change helped to remind him of that fact.

"We can't. Nearly everyone else will side with him. We've got no chance trying to fight by ourselves in here." He muttered to her, earning himself a glare from McGonagall as she passed by. She probably thought he was planning a rebellion.

He was.

But not the one she was expecting.

Suddenly, a high, cold voice rang out through the Great Hall, causing cries of distress and fear. Draco's eyes simply closed and he suppressed his body's natural reaction of trembling in expectancy of pain.

The voice demanded that they hand over Harry Potter in exchange for the safety of Hogwarts and its students. Draco knew the answer just from the atmosphere in the room; it was a resounding _no_. Unfortunately, Pansy didn't catch on as quick

She stood quickly and screamed, "There's Potter! You heard what he said. Grab him!"

Draco's eyes opened, trying to find the place that Pansy was pointing to, and his reflexes felt painfully slow as he did. His heart was in his throat by the time his gaze finally fell on Harry. But his line of sight was quickly interrupted by the students of every other house, standing and drawing their wands against Pansy. Draco blinked rapidly a few times, trying to get his mind to start up again after it had shut down at the sight of Harry.

Thanks to Pansy's outburst, Slytherin was evacuated first. He'd heard McGonagall saying that all those of age could choose to stay and fight. Merlin, did he want to... Even if he was the only Slytherin, even if no one else on Harry's side of the battle would trust him, he wanted to. He wanted to do one proud and noble thing before the war was ended, as it almost certainly would be in the near future.

Draco wanted to stay, truly, he did. But he couldn't, not without ruining everything he'd worked so hard to build up. He reminded himself that it was only for a little while longer as he stood, his eyes catching Harry's once more. He tried to send a look of reassurance, but was met with a look of unconcealed angry disappointment.

In the corridors, the students were ushered quickly towards their evacuation point. It seemed that they were heading towards the Room of Requirement. It was probably the only undetected way to leave the castle, Draco reasoned. Half way there, Draco discretely slipped out of the crowd, under the pretense of making sure none of the younger students were wandering. But at the first opportunity, he slipped in close to Astoria, moving quickly to her side and whispering in her ear.

"I don't care what you do to get back, but you _must get back_. Steal a broom, bribe someone to apparate you, whatever. You _cannot_ leave this fight. There are likely Death Eaters already just outside the school. Join them. Stay close to my father, so you'll be—" Draco cut off as another student leaned in too close. A well placed glare and the boy backed away hurriedly.

Draco continued quickly, painfully aware of how little time they seemed to have, "So you'll be with the inner circle. Don't bring attention to yourself or try to fight anyone out of your league."

She nodded obediently, obvious trust in her eyes, "Alright Draco, but what will _you_ do?" her expression was pleading as she turned to look at him, and Draco felt a weakening in his usually steadfast walls.

"If I tell you, you could be in danger." He snapped at her, angry at himself for being so soft. That was, until her bottom lip stuck out in a pout, worry written all over her face.

Draco cursed himself but gave in, "I'll be in the castle," He murmured, "That's why I need you out there."

Her expression changed again, from worry to fear but they were approaching the Room of Requirement and Draco had to break away from her again before their hurried conversation was noticed.

"Be safe!" She whispered urgently, and luckily, no one seemed to be paying much attention.

He almost wanted to yell at her, _Be safe? With you whispering something so loudly like a send off! Alerting everyone to the fact that I'm not evacuating. Thanks Astoria._

Draco was even more careful as he tried to casually slip away from the group, going instead to stand behind a statue as they continued to move ahead. He waited longer than he would have had Astoria not whispered something that could've given away his intention to stay in the castle. But eventually, it became apparent that no one had noticed him.

Now that he wasn't at risk for being evacuated, he wasn't quite sure what to do with himself. Should he just wait the thirty minutes until Voldemort came for Harry? Should he try to find and destroy the Horcrux that was hidden away somewhere here in the castle?

After a few more long moments of hiding and contemplating, he decided he'd just sneak about a little and figure out what everyone else in the castle was doing. Preparing to fight, he was sure. But Harry would be looking for the Horcrux. Maybe if Draco could just get some more information about it, he could help…

He was walking through the corridors silently, heading slowly back in the direction of the Great Hall. The closer he got, the more people he ran into. He saw Harry and after a quick look back and forth, moved to follow him. It seemed he was heading towards the Ravenclaw dorms…

"Oi, Draco!" Someone said and Draco turned so quickly he was almost dizzy.

Behind him stood Crabbe and Goyle smiling and waving as they approached him. He glared but lowered the wand he'd pointed at them out of reflex.

"Are you out of your fucking mind!" He whispered harshly, glancing around to make sure no one had seen or heard anything.

"What?" Goyle asked, "You snuck out to catch Potter too, didn' you?"

Draco's glare deepened, "The point of sneaking, is not to get caught you bloody imbecile." He bit out. He sighed when he saw their rather oblivious expressions. It wasn't their fault they were so stupid.

"Stick with me." Draco told them, "So that none of us get killed, alright? We'll catch Potter and bring him to the Dark Lord."

Crabbe thrust his big fist in the air, "Fuck yeah! Think maybe we'll get a reward?" He turned to ask Goyle.

Draco shook his head and told them both to shut up and follow him. Draco was silent as a whisper, checking every corner, moving quietly and cautiously. Crabbe and Goyle, though also trying to stay undetected, sounded like a stampede in comparison

Suddenly, Draco could hear lots of movement throughout the castle, the sound of pounding footsteps and screams. He checked his watch briefly, it was already midnight… But there was nothing for it, he had to keep going. He'd seen Harry heading this way hadn't he?

The sounds of battle only got louder, rumbling the very stone under their feet, and Draco stopped bothering with trying to be quiet. His footsteps wouldn't make any difference in this din.

He finally caught up to Harry and found that he was standing and talking to Ron and Hermione. He motioned once for Crabbe and Goyle to stay put as he moved to get closer and hear what they were saying.

Crabbe and Goyle, obviously not understanding simple hand gestures, moved to follow him and Draco wheeled on them motioning them back vigorously. Finally they seemed to get it and stayed put.

Resisting the urge to rub his temples, Draco took out his wand and cast a disillusionment charm on himself. He looked around once, taking note of Crabbe and Goyle trying to recite the same spell as he had. Draco eased himself closer to the trio, standing and talking animatedly. He pressed his back to the wall, and continued, step after careful step towards them.

Finally he started to pick up on their conversation.

"—was _amazing_!" Hermione said, her eyes bright, "Amazing!"

Harry seemed lost but still as energetic as his bushy haired friend, "So…So…"

"So we're down another Horcrux." Ron finished for him, pulling something out of his jacket to show Harry, "Had Hermione stab it since she hasn't had the pleasure yet." The redhead said with a proud grin.

"Genius!" Harry exclaimed, startling Draco with the volume of his voice.

The blond froze when an explosion sounded overhead, causing dust to fall from the ceiling. He hurriedly backed away not wanting any dust to get caught on him. It would give him away for sure. Invisible or not, dust could still get caught on him. When finally it stopped falling, he carefully shook himself off just in case before continuing to listen to the conversation.

"I know what the diadem looks like and I know where it is." He was saying. Draco's thoughts trailed off. Diadem? Diadem… Diadem… Where had he heard that word? It dawned on him after a few seconds. The lost diadem of Ravenclaw? That old legend? _That_ was Voldemort's Horcrux?

He tuned into Harry's fast words again last minute, "—Where people have been hiding things for centuries. He thought he was the only one to find it. Come on."

Draco watched as the trio of Gryffindors disappeared through a concealed entrance and he looked around. He'd known he was near the Room of Requirement but he didn't think…

Crabbe and Goyle rushed to his side once the coast was clear. He couldn't see them because, surprisingly, they'd been successful in their disillusionment charms. But he could still hear them clearly. Idiots…

"What the 'ell is a die-dum?" Crabbe panted, his breath heavy.

Draco sighed not even bothering to explain. He told them to stay still and be quiet. Harry and his friends would be heading back out of that door any minute.

The trio was only just exiting when the castle started shaking even more, filling the air with dust. He suppressed the urge to wave his hand in front of his face to clear the dust. It would only give away his position and it probably wouldn't do much to improve the air quality.

He watched furtively as Harry, Ron and Hermione ran past the empty stretch of wall three times before the door opened up. As soon as they went in, Draco counted down from ten before letting the charm slip off and following after them. He didn't bother motioning to his lackeys.

It was the room of lost things, the room Draco had spent nearly all of last year in. And suddenly it struck him, as hard a curse between the eyebrows. He knew where it was! He knew _exactly_ where it was. He'd seen that ugly tiara _tons_ of times.

"Come on," Was all he said to his friends as he ran further into the room, turning corners through the maze of piled up junk.

He made all the correct turns and arrived at the statue with the weird tiara upon it head. Harry was already there, reaching for it. Draco couldn't hold back his smile, feeling proud that his Harry had been clever enough to figure it out. It was nearly done!

"Hold it, Potter!" Goyle nearly shouted making Draco jump at the loud sound and Harry immediately stilled.

The dark haired Gryffindor turned to face them, wand clenched in his hand, deep emerald eyes, hard as stones when they landed upon him. Draco swallowed and let his eyes linger a little on Harry's hand.

"That's my wand you're holding." Draco informed uselessly. Harry knew whose it was.

"Not anymore." Harry said, his eyes softening a little and focusing entirely on Draco, "Winners keepers, _Malfoy_. Who's lent you theirs?" He asked harshly, and Draco could tell Harry thought he'd stolen it.

He kept his face blank, "My mother."

Harry winced.

"So why aren't you three out with Voldemort?" He asked causing Draco's two hulking friends to shudder at the sound of the name.

"We're gonna be rewarded," Crabbe said with a smile, "We 'ung back, Potter. Decided to bring you to 'im."

"Good plan." Harry smirked, and Draco felt such a powerful tugging in his chest that he struggled to keep his feet planted where they were. He wanted to run to him… Wanted to shout so many things that he hadn't gotten a chance to say before.

Fuck! How did he still feel so god damn young and careless! He thought he'd conquered these useless feelings already.

He struggled to harden himself again, reminding himself that there was a battle outside, that Voldemort was still alive and well. It worked, but only just.

Harry was taking slow steps backwards, towards the statue. Draco nodded slightly in encouragement and Harry's lips quirked up at the corners.

"So how'd you get in here?" He asked, just trying to keep the conversation going to distract Crabbe and Goyle.

"I nearly lived in the Room of Hidden Things last year, Potter." Draco said, "I know how to get in." He felt like he was leaving off the '_you should know that_' but he thought Harry understood nonetheless.

"We was hiding in the corridor outside." Goyle said, "We can do diss-lusion charms now! And then you turned up right in front of us an' said you was looking to a die-dum. What's a die-dum?" he asked, since Draco hadn't answered that question before.

"Harry?" Ron's voice interrupted, causing all four of the boys to look over at the source. It was muffled by a wall of furniture between them, "Are you talking to someone?"

Before Draco could stop him, Crabbe had flicked his wand over at the massive wall of stacked objects and cried, "Descendo!"

Draco turned to stop Crabbe a moment too late. Harry stopped the spell but Crabbe was poised to say it again.

"No!" Draco shouted, stilling his arm. Crabbe's beady eyes focused on Draco's face were wrought with confusion, "You might bury the diadem thing!" The blond told him, stumbling over his excuse for making Crabbe stop his destruction.

"Who cares?" The dimwitted boy said, peeved that he wasn't getting to hurt anyone, "The Dark Lord wants Potter. Who cares about a stupid die-dum."

Draco's mind was whirring as he tried to make more excuses, "But Potter's looking for it, so that must mean—"

" 'Must mean'?" Crabbe asked sneering at Draco, "Who cares what you think. I don't take orders from you no more. _You're_ the one who let 'im escape last time!"

Draco glared wanting to curse the other boy's face off. He knew that thing at Easter was going to haunt him… All this time he'd thought he'd gotten off easy but the drop in respect for him had to come at the absolute worst time.

"Harry? What's going on?" Came Ron's muffled voice once more.

Crabbe mimicked him childishly before shooting a Cruciatus curse at Harry who'd lunged for the diadem.

"STOP!" Draco shouted at him grabbing his arm once more, "The Dark Lord wants him alive—" he tried to reason.

"So? I'm not killin' 'im,. Am I?" Crabbe was saying, and Draco struggled not to just kill the idiot where he stood. He had to remember that Goyle was right behind him. If Draco killed Crabbe, Goyle might try to attack him. Or worse, he might escape and tell others. Draco couldn't afford for any Death Eaters to doubt his loyalty right now. That was the only thing that stayed his hand.

"The Dark Lord wants him dead anyway." Crabbe continued, "What's the diff—"

He was cut off by a spell coming their way and Draco immediately dodged, taking Crabbe with him. When he realized he'd just saved the fat bastard that had spent the last few minutes arguing with and insulting him, he pushed him away in disgust, hoping the next spell hit.

And then the idiot was saying the killing curse, obviously aiming for Hermione but Draco didn't trust his aim. Merlin forbid Harry get hit trying to heroically protect his friends. Draco raised his wand to stun Crabbe, but the boy was dodging another spell from Hermione and ran right into him. Draco's stomach sank as he saw his wand roll away under a pile of junk too deep for him to dig through.

"Don't kill him! DON'T KILL HIM!" Draco screamed in desperation, trying to think of a way to get out of this without revealing his true loyalties too soon.

But the spells just kept flying, and he was wandless now. Dread filled him as he moved to dodge another of Hermione's hexes, diving behind a wardrobe and trying to wait out the fight. Crabbe and Goyle should be easily taken down…

Draco only just saw Crabbe and Ron sprinting past as fire tore after them through the labyrinthine isles.

"RUN!" Harry screamed and Draco jumped up to follow, but nearly tripped over Goyle's stunned body.

Draco growled at himself, hating that he didn't want to leave his not-quite-friend there to die and hurriedly bent to help him up. He had enough death on his hands already. Goyle was out cold and Draco had to drag him to move him away from the monstrous flames. He was much heavier than Draco, and wandless, the blond couldn't levitate him. He grunted in exertion as he went the only way he could think of: up.

He found what looked to be the most stable of the mountains of junk and hurriedly scrambled up, pulling an unconscious Goyle up behind him. But the mountain, was being charred away, and slowly began to sway as the fire swirled around. Draco was choking on the smoke now, angry at himself for losing his wand, for dying here pitifully and not finishing this damned war. For ending up useless in the end after everything he'd sacrificed…

And then Harry was flying towards him, his face determined and Draco felt like Death's scythe had just been lifted off his shoulders. Draco reached up and Harry's hand came down, making contact; their first touch in nearly a fucking year and it was because Draco was about to die.

Typical.

Draco's hands were slippery from sweat and he groaned in despair when Harry's hand slid from his grasp. He tried to wipe the slickness from his palm on his pants but there was just no way Harry could easily lift Draco and Goyle in one swoop.

And then Ron and Hermione were coming, and Draco swore to never insult them again as he watched them both dodge a flaming chimera to come and scoop up Goyle.

Draco found himself being pulled up, and instinctually, his threw his leg over the broom clinging to Harry for dear life. He wasn't even able to appreciate the fact that his arms were wrapped around Harry for the first time in what felt like forever. But Harry seemed a little disoriented, his broom dipping a little too close to the fire for Draco's comfort.

"The door, get to the door, the door!" Draco shouted as a reminder but Harry didn't seem to have heard him.

We were moving _away_ from the door and Draco was so confused his arms must've squeezed the breath out of the poor Gryffindor, "What're you doing! The door is _that_ way!" He screamed so loud it left his throat sore.

They swerved and dived, Harry's silence driving Draco insane as he clung and simply trusted that Harry wouldn't let either of them die. He was still screaming weakly, holding on tight and he watched as Harry's quick seeker reflexes helped him catch the diadem while it was falling. Honestly, Draco had forgotten entirely about the damn thing. Being nearly burned alive can do that to you, he reasoned.

And then Harry was pulling up, still not saying anything. But one of his hands pulled off the handle of the broom and he quickly touched Draco's hands where they were fisted in the front of his shirt, his calloused fingers lightly caressing Draco's skin. The action was totally out of place in a near death experience but Draco was struck silent by the sweetness of it. They careened out of the burning room and back into the corridor where the promptly crashed and fell into heaps onto the stone floor.

The sweetness was most certainly ruined.

Draco groaned, his body aching, his lungs burning as he coughed and gagged. He clutched at his chest for a few seconds, trying to get re-accustomed to the semi-clean air.

_Fucking Crabbe… I could kill him if he weren't dead._ Draco was thinking.

"He's dead." Ron said rather harshly and Draco spared a glance at the redhead. Had he been speaking out loud?

Draco shook his head and struggled to his feet, leaning against the wall for support. Harry's eyes caught his once, a pleading sort of look in them but Draco shook his head and turned away. From the sounds in the castle, the fight was not over. Harry might still need someone on the other side. And Draco couldn't just abandon Astoria.

As he was stumbling away, briefly accosted by the screams of the Headless Hunt as they stormed by, he realized he hadn't even thought of Astoria since she'd left. Was she okay? How long had it been? He checked his watch. Barely an hour and a half had passed, yet it felt like much more. He didn't even bother with Goyle. The boy would wake up whenever. What Draco needed was a wand…

The further he walked, the more he regained himself, the coughing finally ceasing, his muscles finally obeying him again. But his hands were still shaking.

When Draco came across a bathroom he darted into it eagerly. No one was in there anyway. He scrubbed the soot off his face and tried to drink a bit of water to soothe his raw throat. It only barely helped. After that, Draco started running, not sure where he should be going, which side he should be supporting. He had to dodge a few duels, but he remained unscathed.

The battle that was being waged was a ferocious one, and Draco was entirely unsure of his place in it. Was the Dark Lord here? Was he fighting amongst the other Death Eaters? How many were dead?

Draco came upon a Death Eater doing the same as himself, wandering around; but the Death Eater was likely looking for someone to kill or maim. From the man's lack of mask, Draco could tell he was low among their ranks. It was almost too easy. Draco throttled him from behind, throwing the man into the stone wall and snatching his wand from his hand. The Death Eater fell down holding his hands over his face where blood was spilling from his mouth.

"M-Malfoy?" he blubbered, his words slurred from his broken teeth.

"Avada Kedavra." Draco said pointing the man's own wand at him. He closed his eyes when the flash of brilliant green struck his chest.

Sighing, Draco turned away from him and was about to venture further into the fray now that he had a wand but he ran immediately into another Death Eater. Draco's eyes widened in fear when he saw that the Death Eater's wand was pointed at him. He'd seen what Draco'd done.

"Traitor." The masked Death Eater spat and Draco shook his head violently, backing up.

"No. This is a misunderstanding."

"You just killed one of our own." The man growled and Draco shook his head again. How the hell did he get out of one life threatening situation and back into another so quickly? He had a wand now, but he knew that if he so much as twitched his arm as though to raise it, he'd be killed.

"I'm Draco Malfoy!" He said hoping his name would save him, "I'm Draco, I'm on your side!"

Suddenly, a bright red light hit the Death Eater and he fell to the ground, stunned. Draco grinned and turned to find who'd saved him, hoping it was Harry. He didn't see anyone and before he could call his name, he was punched in the face and he fell backwards over the other man's prone form.

Draco rubbed at his split lip and looked around, hoping that it wasn't Harry under his invisibility cloak. Harry goes from caressing his hand to punching him in the jaw? And they call Draco two-faced…

"And that's the second time we've saved your life tonight, you two-faced bastard." Ron Weasley's voice yelled and Draco couldn't help but chuckle at the synchronicity of their thoughts. He hoped it was Ron who'd punched him.

Draco stood and brushed himself off, licking at his injured lip before going back into the fight. It was time to fucking _do_ something instead of sitting around doing nothing. He stayed mostly on the sidelines, much to his chagrin, and watched the duels going on. He was constantly checking for openings and shooting small hexes at the Death Eaters. Enough to make them stumble or stall so that those fighting for the Order and Dumbledore's Army could overtake their opponents.

It wasn't like he could just jump into the middle of the fights and start throwing the killing curse at those who were supposed to be his allies. But he consistently helped Harry's side, some of which were students who stood almost no chance against the Death Eaters they were fighting. The wand he'd stolen was not as good as his own, or even his mother's. It was weaker than usual, unfamiliar to his hand, but he tried to push past it and do what he could.

He made his way into the entrance hall only barely managing not break his neck stumbling over the emeralds spilled all over the floor from the Slytherin points hourglass.

Draco stumbled out into the night, finding just as much fighting out here as there was inside. He had to dodge the giants as best he could, moving quickly and looking for any injured that might need help. Rubble was all over the place, any one could've gotten caught in it. Draco's healing charms weren't the best but—

He heard someone screaming for Hagrid and he turned in time to see his favorite trio, heading towards the Dark Forest. Groaning to himself he turned and cautiously headed in their direction. His body ached, every part of him burning from exertion. He'd only just barely started to reach Harry, Hermione and Ron when he felt a cold shiver of dread through the air. Dementors, hundreds of them, Draco was sure.

He watched as all three of them seemed to stop and stagger under the oppressive weight of sudden despair. Draco sucked in a quick worried breath, why weren't any of them doing anything? Harry had a strong patronus, didn't he?

He turned and tried to hide behind a pile of stone bricks and dust as other fighters flew past him, come to save the Gryffindors from the dementors. Three different patronuses flew out into the night, but they were only barely keeping the dementors at bay.

"Time to return the favor, Weasley." Draco mumbled as he aimed the wand that wasn't his, praying it would work, "_Expecto Patronum_"

A silver eagle burst from his wand tip and he let out an exultant cry of happiness as it flew over the group of Gryffindors, forcing the dementors back much further than even the three others combined could. Then, Harry's silver stag appeared, brighter than all of the rest, forcing the dementors into a full retreat.

Draco was smiling until he saw a pair of eyes on him. Luna Lovegood, who'd gone to assist with her own patronus, was looking straight at him, a startled expression on her face.

"Fuck." Draco whispered pointing his wand at her wondering if the spell would work over this distance, "Oblivi—"

"Stupefy!" Neville shouted and Draco only barely ducked in time. Draco cursed again and made a run for it, back towards the castle. He'd take his chances with the giants rather than face 6 of them at the same time.

Not that Harry would fight him… probably…

He went back to searching the grounds for people who needed help. Most of the fallen he found were dead, and a few were just stunned and he tried to drag them into areas less out in the open so that they wouldn't get accidentally crushed by the giants. He levitated a huge chunk of stone off of a boy's now mangled legs, and cast a charm he'd learned to keep infection away and one to stop bleeding. But it was meant for small wounds, not crushed limbs.

As he went to move away from him, he felt his pant leg caught on something and looked down to pull it free. Until he saw it was the boy's hand that had caught around it. Draco only now took the time to really look at the boy's face. Earlier, he'd been so harried he'd only concentrated on the wounds he could heal before moving on to the next person.

This boy was so young… he couldn't have been more than a second year. His soft hazel eyes were glassy but staring intently up at Draco.

"Please…" The boy whispered, his voice soft and gurgled as though there might be blood in his mouth.

Draco's face collapsed in deep sorrow and he quickly knelt at the boy's side, for a moment, forgetting how much more there was left to do. He gently removed the boy's hand from his pant leg and held it in his own hand instead. His fingers were stiff and freezing against his palm, and the size of the boy's hand only cemented the fact that he was much too young for battle. What the hell was he doing here! Shouldn't he have been evacuated?

"Thank you for helping." He said, seeming a little stronger now that someone was by his side.

Draco shook his head, "Is there anywhere else that hurts?" He asked thinking maybe he could help further but already knowing his healing charms were weak.

The boy blinked at him as though he was surprised by the question before his eyes slowly slid over to see his legs. They were truly mangled, lying in unnatural positions, his trousers ripped and blood and skin and bone all obvious in the gaps of the black fabric.

"Doesn't hurt." He mumbled.

Draco just stared at the young boy, feeling grief growing inside him like a disease. This was just a young, adventurous boy; child who hadn't understood the seriousness of war. Harry and Draco had once been the same, easily sneaking out into dangerous situations from the time they were no more than eleven; though Harry did so much more often than Draco. And yet, this boy hadn't had their luck. It wasn't his fault at all. He was only a child… And now his life was ruined…

The boy's breath hitched and a few tears leaked down his face, "I don't wanna die." He whispered and Draco swallowed thickly, forcibly keeping his face composed.

"You won't." he said firmly, rubbing the boy's hand.

"Don't lie." He snapped suddenly angry before his eyes left Draco's face and stared instead up at the sky.

Draco hesitated before saying, "You might… but don't give up just yet."

"I'm scared." The boy said honestly and Draco nodded once understanding how terrifying it must be for the child. Feeling braver than he had any right to, Draco gently pushed the boy's dusty matted hair back from his face.

He didn't say anything further, because truly, what could he say? He wouldn't give the boy false hope. But he could give comfort for a little while. The boy's eyes closed in contentment when Draco's hand was on his forehead, but as soon as he tried to pull it away, the boy groaned. Draco shuffled a little closer, still very careful not to jar the boy in case he had any neck or back injuries. He put his hand to the boy's forehead again, pushing his soft brown hair back from his face in slow movements.

All of a sudden, the boy opened his eyes again and grinned up at Draco. He didn't say anything but he continued smiling before closing his eyes once more. They didn't open again.

Draco sucked in a quick breath before reaching to tenderly touch the boy's chest. His heart was still beating, but only faintly. Draco jaw tightened as he struggled to control himself. He knew he had to go, he couldn't stall here any longer. But he was loathe to leave the child alone again. He cast a few wards around the boy for protection, feeling his energy sapped out of him with every spell he used, before he left and continued to tend to the stunned and dying on the battlefield.

He threw himself forcefully back into his work, wanting to shrug off that sorrowful serenity that had nearly overcome him. He used his anger to fuel his vigor in saving as many as he could. He didn't stay by any of their sides very long, spurred on by the thought that someone else could be in their last seconds this very moment. Plus, the fact that in some parts of the courtyard and grounds, fighting was still going on. He couldn't linger anywhere too long or he'd find himself on the wrong side of someone's wand. So he stuck to the relatively empty parts of the courtyard. He still didn't want to be seen.

After a while, Draco found himself compelled to go back into the castle as the sounds of screams began to escalate. He was panting and sweaty and yearned to sit down for just a few moments, long enough to catch his breath. Every minute seemed to drag on like hours, his body running through the motions while his mind just seemed to turn off. He couldn't hear the sounds anymore, the rumbling, the screams, the crashes and bangs. All of the sounds seemed muffled to his ears.

Towards the end, he was shaking so hard from exertion he couldn't run anymore. So he hid, unable to fight. He had only just finished his locking charms on the door to the classroom he was barricading himself in when Voldemort's voice, rang through the castle again.

This time, he was saying something about not wanting anymore casualties, to which Draco tiredly scoffed. He commanded all of his forces to retreat and gave Hogwarts one hour to care for their dead and either turn over Harry Potter or face a battle worse than the one it'd already seen.

Draco slid down to the floor and lay on his back, dissatisfied with his own fatigue. There was still so much to do… He laughed at himself, not sure what about this situation was humorous.

Maybe the fact that was he was entirely exhausted and everyone else seemed to still have energy to spare. Maybe that he had no idea what the fuck was going to happen after an hour. Would Harry go to Voldemort? Draco shook his head and tried to assure himself that Harry couldn't be so stupid.

But then, with a threat like that, about killing his friends … Harry might be just loyal and stupid enough to…

_No_. Harry wouldn't. He wouldn't go out there. He'd just die. Where would that leave the rest of the world?

Still, he couldn't get the nagging idea out of his head that maybe, just maybe, Harry would do it anyway. After a long while, Draco forced himself up to his feet and closed his eyes for a minute, taking stock of his body and willing himself to find the same hidden energy reserve that Harry seemed to easily tap into.

He let himself out of the classroom, finding that battle had well and truly stopped. The halls were scattered with the evidence of the fighting, but the people, most of them at least, were gone. There were a few Death Eaters that still lay dead but Draco didn't bother to move them.

He cast another disillusionment charm on himself before entering the Great Hall where everyone seemed to have retreated to. He entered as quietly as he could and luckily, no one was paying attention to the door. Those that had made it out of battle unscathed were huddled around each other for comfort. The wounded were on a platform with Madame Pomfrey tending to them as fast as she could. The dead lay in the middle. Draco walked right past them, not daring to look down. He didn't want to see who hadn't made it.

He walked up to the healing platform, going through some of the potions and remedies searching for a pepper-up. He couldn't find one. So he turned and examined some of the injured, looking to make sure those that he'd saved had made it here.

He stopped once by the bed of the boy who was most certainly going to lose his legs. His eyes were open but he didn't see Draco. He didn't seem to be able to see anything. But he was breathing still, he was _alive_, and Draco was glad for that much.

He left the hall then, when a few of the survivors did as well. Some of them were continuing to scout the grounds. What they were looking for, Draco didn't know. He found himself an empty hallway and leaned against the wall putting his hands over his face. He felt hollow and sick. He was covered in blood and dust and his muscles were trembling with weakness as the adrenaline completely left him.

And to think he'd been so excited for it all to end…

He let the glamour fall away from him, not caring at this point if he was spotted. A ceasefire had been called anyway. He should be alright as long as he didn't provoke anyone first.

He wasn't sure how long he stood there, just thinking, his thoughts not making any sense but still coming nonstop. He was running on his will alone at this point but luckily, he was starting to wake up again. The fogginess of his mind beginning to lift, the ringing in his ears from listening to hours of screams and crashes finally ceasing.

He looked up when he heard footsteps. Not just a few, but a _lot_ of footsteps. He headed toward them finding a crowd bigger than he'd expected gathering towards the front doors.

"NO!" Someone screamed.

And that was about the time that Draco's world fell down at his feet.

* * *

><p>So? Leave me a nice review. Or a mean one. Whatever. :]<p>

* * *

><p>So<p> 


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N:** This story has a surprisingly underwhelming response as far as reviews go. But I'll finish it anyway. Sorry I took so long to post. Midterms kicked my ass and I've been asleep for most of spring break.

So Here is your next chapter. Remember, the events in this chapter are a mixture of the book and the final movie. Forgive any overly dramatic moments, it's a love story. XD

* * *

><p>Chapter 2<p>

* * *

><p>It was like he'd been hit with a stunning spell. It was like his ribs were being crushed inwards and his organs were being ripped outwards. It was like he'd been slammed down into the earth so hard he couldn't move. Like gravity was pressing down on him so forcefully that he couldn't breathe. It was like his feet weren't touching the ground, like his mind wasn't even inside his body anymore. It was like nothing he'd ever felt before.<p>

It was like the world had ended.

Draco stood frozen in the mass of students and teachers and Order members. But he couldn't see them, couldn't even vaguely recognize the faces of the group of Death Eaters that stood facing them. His eyes were glued on Harry.

Harry, lying limp in Hagrid's arms. Harry, his eyes closed, his chest not moving. Harry, _dead_.

He sucked in a breath, not realizing how long he'd been holding it. This couldn't be real. It couldn't be… No. He was asleep in the classroom he'd locked himself in. He was still asleep in his bed and his Mark had never burned. He wasn't here, Harry wasn't here. Harry wasn't _dead_.

Voldemort was talking and Draco was only half comprehending the words. They seemed like gibberish to him at first.

"You see?" The snake-like man was saying, obvious glee in his voice, "Harry Potter is _dead_."

His words were met with cries and shouts but he continued, "Do you understand now, deluded ones? He was nothing, ever, but a boy who relied on others to sacrifice themselves for him!"

Draco wasn't paying attention anymore. He was breaking down piece by piece, his knees weak as he stared at Harry's body willing this not to be real. It couldn't be… It _couldn't_ be…

Harry would never talk again, never laugh again, never smile again. Draco would never get to kiss him. He'd never get to apologize. He'd never get to tell him that he loved him, like he should have so many times last year when he was a coward.

Harry was _gone_. He wasn't coming back.

"Draco." Voldemort beckoned and Draco looked up, startled that he was being called. All of those around him backed away seeming to realize who was standing amongst them. Voldemort motioned him forward, a maniacal grin on his pale face.

Draco's feet seemed to shuffle forward of their own accord, his mind still holding itself back, trying to find away around the reality assaulting his eyes. He walked across the divide between the two groups, expecting only to go and stand with the other Death Eaters. Now he could see his father's worn out face, his tired slate grey eyes trained only on Draco. He could see Astoria beside him, her hands clasped together, her eyes trying to tell him something he couldn't understand.

But he was pulled into a hug by the Dark Lord and he nearly gagged, nearly started cursing and screaming and telling the man to never touch him again. But the difference between nearly and actually seemed a gap too big for Draco to cross. He stood still, the man's arms wrapped around his body, his breath blowing against his neck.

Everyone would know… Everyone would realize how Draco managed to gain so much power in so short a time. Is this what Voldemort had meant about claiming his throne? Because Harry was dead, he could now claim Draco as his whore publicly?

Fortunately, Voldemort let him go with only a hug, not trying to kiss him or something else foul that would have made Draco lose what little sanity he had left.

Even still as he walked away and went to stand between his father and Astoria, he could tell Lucius knew. His eyes were narrowed but sorrowful as he gazed at Draco. Draco just looked away.

He stood stoically, his mind still not registering what was going on around him. He wasn't paying attention to the Dark Lord's gloating and celebration.

Astoria reached over to take his hand but Draco pulled it back harshly, the touch jerking him from his daze.

Harry was dead… Harry was DEAD!

It was over! It was fucking over and everything he'd done meant NOTHING!

Draco pulled out his wand and poised it beneath his chin.

"No, Draco, no!" Astoria was saying pulling at him, trying to stop him. But it was far too late. Harry was dead. That's all Draco's mind could focus on. This was the only thing he could do. Performing powerful magic on oneself never really works the same way as it does when performing it on another. Draco knew killing himself would not be quick and painless as the curse usually was. His magic could not attack itself without imploding. The few wizards who'd ever dared to kill themselves had suffered painful deaths. Draco knew this, but he didn't care.

He was surprised when he father tugged hard on his arm trying to stop him before he could utter the curse. And even further surprised when he realized he was repeating the same mistake he had before.

His father's hand had tugged down his sleeve, revealing the silver bracelet that was low on his wrist. He only barely got to see his father's shocked look as the faint light of the cresting sun caught the letters "HP" on the pendant that hung against his skin.

And then he heard a hiss, "_Traitor!_" Voldemort nearly screamed and Draco realized that those ruby eyes had turned to him at some point. He almost wanted to smirk at the bastard. Did he see the bracelet? Did he realize that Draco had never been his all this time? Hell, he hoped he did.

Draco lowered his wand with a smile on his lips, knowing Voldemort would kill him and save him the trouble of doing it himself. Without fail, the dark wizard raised his wand and cast the curse, the bright green light heading straight at Draco.

And then he was falling… But when he hit the ground he grunted from the pain and struggled to take a breath. His father's heavy body lay on top of him and from there, everything moved so quickly Draco hardly had time to realize what was going on.

His father had died for him.

The man he'd hated, he'd cursed, he'd denounced, he'd humiliated, had jumped in front of a killing curse for him. Astoria was tugging at him, and screams were breaking out as the two groups of people started battling again. Some of the Death Eaters apparated away and Draco was confused, slow to catch on to what was going on around him.

"I'm sorry." He whispered to his father's blank face, and he truly was.

Now, Draco realized he couldn't die yet. No… he had one more thing to do before he did. He was going to kill that bastard Voldemort himself. He didn't care about anything else. That man had to die. Afterwards, Draco himself would die and be at peace. He rolled out from under his father's body, too distracted by fury and the confusion of battle to mourn. Astoria had his arm and was tugging him, forcing him to run back into the castle where most everyone seemed to be headed.

She was shouting something at him but he could hardly understand it.

"—ALIVE!" she screamed at him as they ran through the chaos, "He's alive, Draco!"

"Who's alive?" Draco stuttered.

"HARRY! Harry's alive!"

Draco shook his head, tears threatening his eyes. He wanted to push her away, not understanding why she would be so cruel as to lie to him about something like that.

"No… I-I saw—" He was cut off by running into someone. But he couldn't see who it was. It took him a moment to realize the person must be invisible.

"D-Draco?" a voice asked, emanating from the empty spot in front of him

Draco's eyes widened and he ripped at the air, but his hand pulled back nothing, the sound of retreating footsteps faint over the din of increasing battle. Draco was left standing there, a mixture of relief and fury bubbling through his veins.

He saw another death eater bump into Harry as well, but before the woman had time to alert anyone of the invisible hero, Draco had whipped out his wand and cast the killing curse. His aim was always true and the adrenaline rushing through his veins only made it better.

Even after his wand arm dropped back to his side Draco was still in shock, standing almost entirely still in the Great Hall, jostled by the occasional dueler who bumped into him. His fist was still clenched around his wand and eventually, he seemed to catch on to the fact that it wasn't exactly safe to stand still in the middle of a battlefield.

He turned to Astoria, who was still standing beside him, casting occasional hexes at any who dared attack them. He told her to hide, ordering her to stay safe before he left, maneuvering easily through the crowd and reminding himself of his will to kill Voldemort. Before he could reach the dark wizard, however, Harry had already stepped out in front of him, causing a sudden hush to come over the remaining fighters.

Draco was about to run forward and stand at Harry's side before the Gryffindor spoke loudly, "I don't want anyone's help. It's got to be like this, it's got to be me."

Draco wanted to curse at him that he didn't have to do everything alone. But he also didn't want to distract him and get him killed. He sufficed to wait, frowning, wand still in his hand, ready to hurl a curse at the Dark Lord the first chance he could.

He was listening intently to their conversation, piecing together more information as he watched them circle each other. He couldn't understand how he'd ever felt exhausted before. Now there was so much raw energy zinging through him. He couldn't be tired. Not while Harry was here fighting. Draco couldn't lose him again. He'd do anything to prevent it. He'd kill Voldemort with his bare hands if he had to.

When Harry announced Draco as the true owner of the Elder Wand, the blond blanched. Was he trying to get Draco killed? He was shaking, but ready if the Dark Lord decided to turn and curse him. But then Harry said that he'd disarmed Draco, which was true. He wondered if that's why the boy had done it. It'd always bothered him that Harry had snatched his wand from his hands. If he'd only asked for it, Draco would've given it. Now he understood, or he hoped he did at least.

"Kill him, Harry." Draco was whispering, "Kill him…"

And then the curses were shouted and the magic filled the air, forcing everyone to back away from the intense energy crackling through the air. And then, nearly as quickly as it had started, it ended, the red and green light dissipating, Voldemort's wand spinning through the air only to be caught by Harry's hand.

The pale man fell to the ground unceremoniously and Draco almost couldn't believe it. It had looked so easy…

Before he had the chance to go over and _make sure_ the man was dead, absolute chaos broke out around him and people swarmed the wide eyed Gryffindor. Draco was ready to let out his own cheers; figuring if Voldemort hadn't been dead before, he was sure to be trampled. But his voice was cut off by sudden blinding pain in his left arm. He cried out, shocked by the intensity of it, nearly falling to his knees. And then it was just gone. All of the pain disappeared, and with it, the constant ache that he'd grown so used to.

Now truly ecstatic, Draco, still trapped within the surging crowd, began to move with purpose. He didn't care about anything except for reaching Harry. He only barely managed to grab the boy's hand before he was being pulled away by the current of the mob. He sighed to himself, trying to decide if he should fight to get closer or wait until it settled.

The decision was made for him when he was pulled away from the crowd and against the wall of the Great Hall by Astoria. The dark haired girl threw her arms around Draco holding him tight before kissing him, _kissing _him! It took Draco a few seconds to push her away, chuckling at her enthusiasm even as she fell into happy sobs against his chest.

He held her, smiling for the first time in what felt like forever.

It was over.

Voldemort was dead. _Dead,_ as he should be.

Draco was free.

Xx-XxX-xX

Harry suffered through the praises and hugs and thanks as everyone in the room seemed to want to talk to him and tell him personally how much he meant to them. It didn't seem to occur to them that he might be tired beyond measure and want a little privacy but he supposed he couldn't blame them.

He heard that Kingsley was the new Minister of Magic, that the innocent were being freed from Azkaban, that the remaining Death Eaters were on the run. He wondered how everyone could get so much information in the scant hour that had passed since Voldemort's death. Professor McGonagall had replaced the tables in the Great Hall and everyone was sitting and celebrating, eating and talking and cheering each other. Many were still grieving, and Harry felt the worst for them. He still hadn't heard all of who had passed…

With the help of Luna and his invisibility cloak he was able to discretely get to Ron and Hermione and ask them to accompany him to Dumbledore's office. So many people seemed happy, and Harry was, in a way, happy for them. But he could not be happy himself, even listening to Peeves' new song. There had been too much loss and he was far too worn out to feel happy.

He already knew what he would do with the Elder wand even before he spoke to Dumbledore's portrait. He fixed his own, happy to have it back, even though Ron and Hermione seemed to think he was slightly crazy for giving up the most powerful wand in existence.

Harry didn't want it, he didn't need it. If he had his way, there'd be no need for such a wand ever again.

As he left the office, his two friends trailing behind him, silent and contemplative, he considered just going straight to Gryffindor tower to rest. He really was exhausted and sleep sounded like paradise. But he had other wand related business to attend to first.

"Back to the Great Hall, Harry?" Ron asked from beside him when he recognized the direction they were heading in, "You don't want to rest?"

Harry shook his head, "I do, but I want to do something else first."

Ron shrugged but nodded, "Alright, we'll help you slip away again when you want to."

Hermione patted his shoulder, "I'm just so proud of you." She whispered reverently.

Harry laughed softly, happiness bubbling from somewhere deep inside of him. He only smiled at her, not sure how he could respond with words. They reentered the Great Hall to much more cheers and shouting. Harry smiled and waved off the sounds, letting the hall go back to its feast and celebration.

Ron and Hermione made to follow him, but he waved them off thinking this something better done alone. In their year of living together, they came to understand each other on a much deeper level than they ever had before. His friends didn't question him, they only nodded and went off to briefly speak with their other friends and family members.

Harry looked around the crowds of people for a little while, but he was unable to find Draco. He was just about reaching his limit of straining his tired eyes, when his gaze fell on the girl. _The_ girl that had saved him from Voldemort in the Dark Forest. He didn't know her, but she apparently knew Draco since she'd asked about him. She was sitting at what had once been the Slytherin table, not that anyone was sitting according to house anymore. But no one sat near her. Everyone gave her a wide berth and Harry frowned a little. He could understand general mistrust of Death Eaters, but obviously, this girl was here for a reason.

He walked over to her and she smiled at him when his eyes caught hers. Harry hesitantly smiled back. Not because he didn't like the girl, or appreciate what she'd done for him, but because expressions of happiness just still felt a little odd after frowning for so long. Plus he was nervous. What would he say?

"Er… Hi." He said as he stopped beside where she was sitting.

She smiled sweetly up at him, "Hello, Harry. Something you needed?"

Harry looked down at the ground for a minute, one hand absently rubbing the back of his neck, "You haven't seen… Umm… Malfoy around, have you?"

She rolled her eyes before muttering something that sounded suspiciously like, "_Boys…_"

She smiled up at him again though as though the moment had never happened, "He was very tired and said he wanted some time to himself. I don't know exactly where he went though, I'm sorry."

Harry shook his head, "No, that's alright. I'll just have to find him. Thank you." He said to her earnestly, "For saving me earlier as well. Thank you."

She laughed and smiled again at him, "It was nothing." She said before holding out her hand, "I'm Astoria, by the way."

Harry smiled at her and nodded, taking her hand and shaking it. Who cares if she was a Slytherin? She'd saved his life.

"Anyway," She continued, "I doubt he ventured far. He's probably still on the first floor."

Harry nodded to her once, not bothering to tell her he didn't really need her help anymore. All he needed to know, really, was if Draco was still in the castle. He could search the Marauders map as soon as he was away from the crowds. But he had to admit, he was glad that she'd narrowed his search a little. His senses were truly at their limit after being strained so long. He wasn't sure his eyes would last long enough to search the entire map for him.

He waved at her once before heading away and going to leave the Great Hall. Unfortunately, in his rush to find Draco, he'd forgotten about all the people that would want to stop and talk to him. He wasn't as polite as he could've been, sometime shoving past people even while they were in the middle of a sentence. But he really wasn't up to dealing with this right now.

He managed to escape and breathed a sigh of relief as he walked into a less populated corridor. At the first chance he got, he threw his invisibility cloak around himself and pulled out his map. He rubbed his tired eyes once, willing his headache away before he started scanning the map for Draco's name. Astoria had been right, Draco hadn't ventured very far at all.

He was on the first floor and only a few corridors away actually. Far enough from the Great Hall to be alone, but still close enough in case another emergency arose. Harry sincerely hoped he'd never see another emergency in his entire lifetime.

He walked through the halls, the crowds thinning drastically the farther he got. As soon as he was clear of people, he pulled off his invisibility cloak and tucked it back into his robes. He felt a bit exposed and his eyes flicked around a few times, but he knew he couldn't approach Draco while invisible. They'd just gone through a war, after all. And if there was one thing Harry knew, if only from dealing with his own paranoia, it was that you don't startle someone merely a few hours after a battle.

He stopped one corner shy of the hall he knew Draco was standing in. He couldn't even decipher what he was feeling. It was a rush of different emotions at the thought of finally confronting the boy he'd loved. He was hesitant, but exited. Old anger and hurt bubbled up as well as neediness and adoration he couldn't rid himself of. He wanted to see him. He wanted to do all the things he'd imagined he'd do while sitting up late at night in the tent he'd shared with his friends.

In those long hours of the night, Harry's imagination had run wild as he'd endlessly pictured ways he'd meet Draco again. Some were terrible, like being forced to fight him in the war. Others were perfect, like making love to the boy, years in the future when all of this could be put behind them. When he'd pictured them meeting again, he'd imagined screaming and kisses and hexes and vows of undying love, but now, when faced with the actual event, he had no idea what to do.

He shook his head and took one quick breath, summoning his courage before he turned the corner and walked as confidently as he could manage towards Draco Malfoy.

The blond didn't move an inch, but Harry knew he'd been seen. He saw the flash of eyes in his direction and the barely noticeable tensing and relaxing of the boy's shoulders. He'd been wise not to come at him invisible. Even in plain sight it seemed Draco'd had a moment of defensiveness before recognizing that there was no danger.

Harry stopped in front of the boy and turned to face him. Draco raised his head and stepped forward from the wall he'd been leaning against. Harry was more than a little shocked at the expression on his face. Or truly, the _lack_ of expression. His face was entirely blank, a seriousness written in the features of the boy—no, _man_, that Harry had never seen before.

Harry lost himself for a few seconds, looking into Draco's eyes. They were darkened and laden with heavy things. The eyes that had once shone like quicksilver in the moonlight were now dulled to nearly the color of lead, obscuring the flecks of bright blue Harry knew were there. He was taller and his skin was deathly pale; the color of snow. He simply looked drained of color, the same as he was seemingly drained of emotion. His hair was only slightly disheveled, which was surprising considering the long hours of battle they'd all gone through. But it was still combed back neatly from his face.

The Slytherin was a little dusty looking, soot still clinging to his clothes and skin in some areas, his lip was split and Harry figured that must've been from when Ron had punched him.

Harry felt something like heavy doubt and sorrow settling in his chest. It was a shock that hit him harder than he'd realized it could. This person who stood before him now… Harry didn't recognize him.

But as he watched, a bit more of the Draco he remembered started to bleed into the blank face of the man. Like watercolor paint blossoming on a page. Harry felt relieved.

Draco's lips hardly quirked up at the corners and in a soft and silken voice he said, "Hello, Harry."

Harry swallowed, "Hello, Draco." He responded in a whisper before clearing his throat, embarrassed at his weak voice.

"I… Um. Well— your wand." Harry said holding out to him.

Draco glanced down at it once before reaching out to take it. His smile had faded.

"Thank you." Draco mumbled quietly, his fingers slipping around the wand with obvious familiarity. He slipped it into his pocket without ceremony before looking back at Harry as though waiting for something.

They stared at each other in silence for a long moment, neither sure what to say to the other. Draco's eyes shifted around a little, his pale hands twitching as though he wanted to wring them as he so frequently did when nervous. Harry shuffled his feet and suppressed the urge to rub the back of his neck.

Unable to stand the silence, Harry cleared his throat again and started, "I—"

"I'm sorry." Draco cut him off.

Slightly surprised, Harry's mouth closed, the unimportant words dying on his lips. He stared up at Draco's face, slowly beginning to see more and more of the person he recognized from behind the ice. The Slytherin was staring back at him with as much intensity and Harry found all of the emotions he'd worked so hard to push back over the last year coming back to him.

He was angry; terribly angry at Draco. He hated him and wanted to strangle him for his stupidity. But he was so relieved that he was okay, that everything had worked out for the better. He was forever grateful for Draco's usually helpful hints, excluding the one about Godric's Hollow which had caused Harry to go into a rage over idiot Slytherins being the cause of his snapped wand. More than anything, he loved him, and he was dying to tell him so; to stop standing away from him as though the war was still holding them apart.

Harry shook his head, finally losing his hesitance and beginning to act more like himself, "I don't understand how you could… Why would you… _How_ could you—I mean, _everything—_ I just. Draco—"

"I know." The blond interrupted once more, "And I'm sorry."

Harry shook his head but took a hesitant step forward, nearly closing the distance between them. He reached out and touched Draco's arms, wanting to pull him into a hug but still wanting to hold back.

"I love you." Draco whispered, his voice thick and Harry lost all will to reign himself in.

It was like someone had pulled the ground out from beneath Harry's feet. His knees went weak and he whimpered. How long had he sat in a stupid fucking tent, replaying Draco's last words to him over and over in his mind? How long had he waited to hear it again?

"Say it again." Harry growled out.

"I love you." Draco repeated before leaning in closer, obviously about to kiss him. And there was nothing Harry wanted more except—

He smirked and held up a finger making Draco back away, confused at the refusal. Harry smiled and balled up his fist before pulling it back and punching the man in the jaw. It wasn't a particularly hard hit, in fact, the Draco that Harry remembered would probably laugh at him. But exhausted Draco staggered back, his healing lip pulled open once more. He glared at Harry and licked at the blood.

"That's for last year, you fucking bastard." Harry said.

Surprisingly, Draco smiled. Harry was so distracted by the odd reaction that he didn't get to prepare for the punch that came at him. Draco was equally kind in holding back his strength, but he certainly made sure Harry would remember it. He took a few steps back, holding his face and knowing he was going to have a black eye. He stared in shock at Draco.

"That's for letting me think you were dead, you inconsiderate prick." Draco snapped, but a familiar playfulness was sparkling in his eyes.

Harry blinked once before smiling bashfully. He hadn't really considered what Draco might think… His eyes had been closed but he'd definitely heard Astoria telling Draco not to do something. What it was, Harry didn't know. He'd ask later.

"I was trying to win a war." Harry replied finally dropping his hand from his face.

"So was I." Draco countered.

Harry smiled again and sighed softly before stepping closer to the blond. Draco backed up slowly until his back was against the wall, but it didn't seem like he was trying to get away. Only like he was luring Harry closer, knowing they'd need the support of the wall for the kiss that was sure to come in just a few more moments.

Harry reached up, scowling when he realized again just how much taller Draco had gotten, and tangled his fingers in soft blond hair. He loved mussing it up. He wanted to see it hanging in front of his eyes again, if only to bring back a part of the Draco he remembered. To make this seemingly new person standing before him a bit more familiar.

He leaned in close, his arms around Draco's shoulders, their lips not touching yet. Both of them lost the playfulness they'd had not a minute before, in favor of more serious dispositions. They were changed men and they both knew it. Harry was terrified that what had worked between them before, might not work now. There would be obstacles. Things would not simply fall into place. They had tons to talk about before they could settle back into the relationship that had at one time come as easy as breath in their lungs. It wouldn't be easy to rebuild, Harry knew.

But it was more than worth it to try.

They were only softly breathing against each other, both of them making a few half hearted movements to start the kiss but backing away every time. Draco was the first to make contact, their lips brushing, making the blond wince in pain. Harry felt Draco's arms slip around his waist and it was like coming home. He almost felt like crying.

And than the man was wrenched from his arms so quickly he wasn't sure what had even happened. But his war hardened mind prepared for the worse, expecting Voldemort, somehow returned from the dead. He pulled out his wand ready to fight only to find himself face to face with Ron and Hermione. Between them stood Kingsley Shacklebolt, the new Minister of Magic.

All three of them had their wands drawn and Draco had been thrown backwards hard against the wall, his chest and arms now encircled with silver rope. Harry dropped his own wand, sighing in relief. It was only his friends, not Voldemort resurrected.

"It's alright. He's fine, you can let him go." Harry assured them.

"What was the first flavor Bertie Bott's every flavor bean you ever ate?" Ron asked, his blue eyes hard as though facing a battle once more.

Harry rolled his eyes, "Spinach. And you called me a freak for liking it." He answered.

Ron's wand eased down a little before he glanced back at Draco, "What the hell are you doing, Harry?"

Draco laughed silently letting his head fall back against the wall, "Of all the troubles I thought I'd face…" He breathed, "Let me guess. You didn't tell them?" he said his softened gray eyes hardening once more.

"I-It just never came— I was going to but—" Harry stumbled over his words. He sighed softly and rubbed at his forehead, "Really guys," He addressed his friends and Kingsley, "You can let him go. He hasn't done anything."

The hall grew silent and everyone stared at him like he was pathetically stupid. Harry realized a little late that maybe that choice of words wasn't entire correct.

"I mean, he's been working for me. He's a spy." Harry asserted calmly.

Kingsley looked over Harry's head and at Draco, his dark eyes piercing, before he looked over at Ron and Hermione.

"Is that true?" The Minister asked.

"No." Hermione said decisively.

"I'll explain later." Harry said, "Really, he's—"

"Either way, I'm afraid Malfoy will be coming with me." Kingsley said firmly and Harry's jaw dropped open. Even while arguing Draco's case, he'd still felt he had the upper hand still. Now, he realized, he didn't.

Draco sighed once, "I figured as much." He mumbled.

Harry's voice rose, "What the hell do you mean 'either way'? He's working for me so he's innocent. You can't just _arrest_ him."

"They still think you could be Imperiused, Harry." Draco said to him calmly but Harry's face erupted in fury.

"Are you _kidding_ me! I just defeated the most powerful dark wizard of all time and you think _Draco Malfoy_ Imperiused me!"

Draco leaned back against the wall, "Thanks, Harry." He said sarcastically.

Harry's lips briefly curled into a smile at signs of Draco's familiar sarcasm, "Come on, you've got to admit it's true. No offense though."

"I'd be lying if I said none taken."

"Enough." Kingsley said taking another menacing step forward. Harry didn't flinch. He stood his ground, angry that a man he called friend would disregard his words.

"Malfoy will still have to be charged for his crimes Harry. If later, you still feel the same way, you can testify for him. But otherwise—"

"If you're going to charge him, you'll have to charge everyone." Harry snapped, anger returning full force, "It was a _war_ Kingsley. Everyone did illegal things."

"He's a Death Eater!" Hermione screeched, her wand trembling slightly and still trained on Draco's heart.

"He's a spy!" Harry shouted back.

"You must understand how this looks, Harry!" The bushy haired girl continued, "No one hears a thing about this until the war is over. Now when all Malfoy needs is an excuse to stay out of Azkaban, suddenly, you claim him to be a spy." She laughed humorlessly, "The only reason I haven't stunned him already is because Malfoy wouldn't be this stupid!"

"Thanks." Draco scoffed.

"Malfoy is going to the Ministry and you're coming with us." Ron said firmly and Harry shook his head in disbelief.

"No." Harry replied just as firmly, once more raising his wand and causing the tension in the air to sky rocket, "He stays."

"It's alright, Harry." Draco nearly whispered, sounding the calmest out of all them standing there, "I don't mind…"

"I fucking mind!" Harry yelled, angry that not even Draco was backing him up. A year of not seeing him, a years worth of things to tell him and the blond didn't mind being holed up in a Ministry interrogation room for however long?

Harry's eyes narrowed at Kingsley, seeing him as the true cause for all of this, "So you leave me to the fighting and then come in the aftermath to take charge, huh?" He grumbled darkly.

Kingsley, who'd previously seemed concerned for Harry, now frowned hard at him. Harry didn't care though, that's exactly what this was. He does all the fighting and still gets pushed around when it's over. Through the last seven years, Harry had frequently witnessed how easy it was to go from hero to worthless in the eyes of the Ministry and the _Daily Prophet_. But he'd never expected it from those he'd trusted. He felt utterly betrayed.

"Shut up, Harry." Draco said finally stepping away from the wall, "You're making an arse of yourself."

Frustrated, Harry grabbed Draco's arm to still him as he moved to walk past, "I don't like this." He whispered, staring at the blond, willing the man to fight against this with him.

"That won't stop it." Draco whispered back, "Well see each other again soon."

Harry didn't bother caring about the odd looks passing back and forth between his friends, "No…" He muttered, feeling helpless again. It was a terrible feeling after he'd felt so invincible not moments before.

Draco smirked and leaned close whispering quietly enough for only Harry to hear, "Maybe I'll get conjugal visits in Azkaban?" He said waggling his eyebrows, obviously trying to lighten Harry's mood.

Harry laughed reflexively but the sound transformed into an unhappy one as it continued, "I'll get you out of this..." he finally whispered.

Draco sighed and stood up straight again, leaning away from Harry, "I know you will."

He shrugged his arm gently out of Harry's grasp and walked straight over to Kingsley, only slightly wary of the wands all aimed at him.

"Well?" Draco prompted, his voice frigid once more.

Kingsley grabbed Draco's shoulder and steered him away, his wand poised at the man's back. Harry stared after them, his own wand clutched in his hand, his heart sinking with every step that took Draco farther from him. He'd only just gotten him back!

He was pulled from his thoughts by the touch of his friend, "Come on, Harry." Ron said gently, much calmer now that Draco was no longer in their midst, "Let's get you back to Gryffindor tower."

Harry was angry enough to want to jerk away. But he recognized that this was mostly his fault. If he'd only told Ron and Hermione about Draco before…

Feeling listless and guilty, Harry allowed his friends to guide him away from the silent corridor and up to Gryffindor tower. They both still had their wands ready, as though Harry may still be unpredictable. But he couldn't be angry with them. This was his fault.

Harry sat down obediently on the couch while Hermione flicked her wand all around him, running it along his forehead and down his back and over his chest. He stared up at his friends' twin looks of shock when the saw the result Harry knew from the beginning that they'd get. He wasn't under any spells. Hermione pursed her lips, obviously considering doing it again just to make sure.

"He really was working for me." Harry said.

"Oh yeah?" The redhead asked, obviously doubtful, "Then why are we only just hearing about it today, at the very end of the war, when all Malfoy wants is to avoid prison."

Harry had to admit, if he were on the other side, he might be just as suspicious.

"I know." Harry sighed, "I shouldn't have hidden it but I didn't know how to explain it properly. And with the chances of us being tortured…" He trailed off, all of their expressions darkening at the memory of the torture Hermione suffered at Malfoy manor, "I figured the less you knew, the safer you were."

Hermione shook her head, "We tell each other everything Harry."

"I know." Harry repeated, "I didn't have a real reason, I was just… a coward. That's all."

He'd truly meant to tell and Ron and Hermione but it had just… never seemed to be the right moment. He was a coward, and he knew it. He knew that if he explained that Draco was a spy, he'd have to explain why he trusted the man. And that would mean telling his friends that he was dating him, which would probably mean telling his friends that he'd obliviated them, which would probably have gotten him hexed to death. Yes, he'd been a coward, avoiding the subject as long as possible, but he didn't think it'd backfire like this.

He'd also sort of felt… like the notes he'd gotten from the blond were special, just for him. Sharing it with his friends, no matter how helpful it might've been, felt like he was giving up a piece of Draco. A private piece of happiness that had more than once kept him going when his spirits were low. He wouldn't have been able to take Ron's doubts and Hermione's excessive reasoning over the vague sentences. They would've argued over what the clues meant and it would've taken away from how… nice they were. There were times when Harry didn't even care what the words said. It calmed him just to gently trace Draco's familiar handwriting with his finger. It would've been ruined if he'd had to share it.

It was selfish and cowardly and he was ashamed of himself. Especially now that he knew his actions were the reason Draco was arrested.

Hermione let out one long sigh before sitting down next to Harry, "Please start explaining, Harry."

Harry could hear the tense and exhausted hint to her voice and he nodded in understanding, "When we first went to Grimmauld place, I woke up with a piece of paper in my hand. It was sort of coded, so only I'd understand it but it basically said it was Draco and that he'd give me hints when he could."

Ron continued to stand. His eyes had softened but his arms were still crossed defensively, "And why didn't we ever see it?"

"It was… sort of… special to me. I guess." Harry whispered softly, bowing his head and running a hand through his hair.

"So we weren't hallucinating that you almost kissed him…" Hermione mumbled softly before gasping and sitting up straight, "All this time, Harry! That's who it was!"

"Who was?" Ron asked confused.

" 'M'." Hermione said with a disbelieving smile before shaking her head, "M for Malfoy."

"The locket?" Ron asked his eyes flicking once to Harry's chest before taking a step back, his face beginning to redden, "No. Come on 'Mione, that can't be it. Harry said that was his girlfriend!"

"Actually, I didn't say it was a girl." Harry said, still keeping his eyes averted. He still remembered how Ron had reacted the last time.

"This is ridiculous." Ron said turning to begin pacing back and forth, muttering to himself.

Hermione ignored him. She turned to Harry instead, "Do you still have it?" she asked.

Harry knew she was talking about the paper and he nodded, reaching into the pouch around his neck that Hagrid had given him. He pulled out the worn slip of parchment and showed it to Hermione. Draco's last message still scrawled across the paper.

'_Stay strong.'_

Hermione reached for it but Harry reflexively pulled it back. Her eyes met his and she seemed to understand a little more about how important it was to him.

"You saved him in the Room of Requiremnt." She said, "He said he didn't recognize us at Malfoy manor… And now he's been arrested… Oh God, Harry you are an unimaginable bastard."

Harry winced but put the paper away again, safely in the pouch that only he could open.

"I don't understand." Ron groaned, still pacing, "You're telling me Malfoy's a good guy and you're _dating_ him. I mean what the fuck Harry. You only saw Malfoy _once_ this year and that was at Malfoy manor. That was not exactly the time to be accepting dates!"

"Don't be silly, Ron. He got the locket last year at Christmas, remember?" Hermione said before her brow furrowed and she stared into space for a minute.

"Well then how'd the hell did you hide it so long?" Ron asked, "This just doesn't make sense. I mean, we'd know if you were dating Malfoy, wouldn't we?"

Harry swallowed once, "I'm, uh… really tired so. Can we finish talking about this later?"

"Harry…" Hermione warned in a threatening tone, "The war's over. No more secrets."

"I-I know." He stuttered, really not wanting to get his ass kicked right now, "I'll tell you. Just… later."

"_Now_." Ron snapped, his feet finally stilling. His expression harsh as he looked at Harry.

"I…" Harry sighed and closed his eyes, "I obliviated you."

Silence fell in the room and Hermione stood quickly, distancing herself from Harry, "You… _You_… _**What!**_" She yelled.

Harry immediately defended himself, "I didn't want to! But you guys kept telling people and Draco's life was in danger! How the hell was he supposed to spy for me if you kept telling people about him working for me?"

"We would've never—!"

"You did!" Harry cut off the girl, "You told Ginny and didn't even ask if it was okay to tell her. I swore you both to secrecy and— I just… I didn't want you two to be tortured because of my choices. So I…"

Hermione had tears welling in her eyes and she shook her head before storming out of the common room. Ron stalled a little longer, his jaw still hanging open for a few seconds before it closed with a snap and he ground his teeth together in fury.

"This isn't over." He growled out before running after Hermione, leaving Harry alone.

Harry sank back into the couch before reaching up to tear at his hair and kicking at the coffee table a few feet away. He wanted to scream, but at the same time he was too emotionally drained for it.

He was frustrated and exhausted and pissed off that Draco was gone and monumentally guilty and ashamed of himself and now he was alone. He sat for a few seconds longer, his throat stinging from the overuse of his voice in the past hour or so.

Reluctantly, he accepted that Ron and Hermione would need time to forgive him. So he stood and went to the boys' dorm. He wasn't sure if he should use the 6th or 7th years dorm but he eventually decided on the 7th. He trudged up the stairs feeling heavy and depressed and defeated. His stomach growled angrily but he ignored it wanting only to sink into a warm bed.

But he couldn't enjoy even that. Since he knew Draco had fought just as hard, and had nothing to look forward to but a cold holding cell.

* * *

><p>Please leave your thoughts on this chapter in a review.<p> 


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N:** A lot of people have expressed disgust over the whole Draco/Voldie thing. And yeah, it's gross, it was supposed to be. But after seeing that weird hug in the movie, that's what I thought. Plus, it shows how entirely lost Draco became in his role as Death Eater.

A lot of people have also expressed anticipation on how Harry was going to get Draco out of prison. Unfortunately, that's not actually a part of the story I paid much attention to. o.o

More will be explained about Draco's prison experience later but it's sort of glazed over in this chapter. So sorry if I disappoint anyone.

I got tons of reviews in the past two weeks or so and I just want to thank everyone. There are a lot of names and I don't want to list and forget someone but every review was read and loved. Sorry while I'm in school I don't have time to reply to all of them but I really appreciate them.

On to the story!

* * *

><p>Chapter 3<p>

* * *

><p>The first month or so after the final battle was full of celebration, but Harry didn't feel like he belonged. All of the shouting and confetti and cheers and partying felt so far detached from himself that he spent as little time outdoors as possible. Hogwarts closed down for repairs, the students getting to leave early for summer.<p>

The second month after the war was not nearly as jovial. It was time to rebuild, time to take count of the dead, time to place the guilty in Azkaban, and most important to Harry, time to free the innocent.

Harry argued with Kingsley frequently and petitioned more than once for Draco to be freed. But the man was steadfast in holding to laws that Harry just didn't know enough about to even fight. Outside of his 5th year, he'd never really dealt much with the wizarding legal system. It turned out to be more convoluted than he'd ever thought and even weeks of studying law books brought him no positive results.

The trials were a bit hasty but Harry knew it was because there was a great number of them to be had. Though wizarding trials were never particularly drawn out in the first place.

Astoria was freed first, her trial taking barely more than an hour with Harry's testimony. She'd done very little amongst the ranks of Death Eaters. The thing she did most was help Draco, which in turn was helping Harry. She'd also saved Harry's life in the Dark Forest. When the Dark Lord thought he was dead, he sent someone over to check his heart and see if he was breathing. Astoria had been the one to do it. And even though she'd felt his heart beating strong in his chest, she'd proclaimed him dead. Even after committing such a daring act of rebellion against Voldemort, Astoria was still given 1 year of magical probation.

Harry testified on Draco's behalf as well, telling the Wizengamot about the boy's help throughout the war. Not only had the blond given him hints about where to go next when he and his friends were utterly lost, he'd also tried to protect them when they were taken to Malfoy manor. Surprisingly, Harry wasn't the only Gryffindor to testify for Draco. Both Luna and Ginny did as well. Luna claimed to have seen Draco casting a patronus to save Harry, Ron and Hermione. Ginny said she saw Draco helping and healing some of the wounded and stunned on the battlefield.

In the end, the courts had no choice but to let him go, though he was charged a series of large fines for reparations on behalf of the Malfoy family and given five years of magical probation. It entailed frequent and random checks of his wand and home performed by the ministry, as well as some restrictions on places he could go and things he could purchase. His Gringotts vault would also be monitored and regulated by the Ministry. At the first sign of anything even slightly suspicious, he would be imprisoned until he could get another hearing.

Harry was dissatisfied with Draco's punishment. He felt it should be lessened but there was little he could do about it. No matter what Harry said in Draco's defense, the blond had most certainly done some very illegal things while he was working under Voldemort. There were others with much shorter track records than Draco who were getting time in Azkaban. As it was, before and during the court proceedings, Draco was held in the infamous prison. Harry could do nothing to get him out, as there was no where else to hold the massive amounts of prisoners.

At least Harry felt a bit better knowing there were a lot fewer dementors there now. But still, each time he saw Draco in the court room, the blond looked dirtier and skinnier and more and more sullen.

It wasn't until late August that Harry even got to see Draco outside of court proceedings.

Harry, Ron and Hermione were all shopping in Diagon Alley. Mrs. Weasley had refused to let them go alone. Of course, the world was safer than it had been in years but she was always a mother hen. After a year of not seeing them she was clinging like a sticking charm.

Ron and Hermione still weren't talking to him very much, both of them preferring to instead talk to each other. Harry didn't mind being left out, as he had many heavy thoughts on his mind that he wasn't really up to sharing. Plus, since his two best friends finally started _really _dating, Harry'd really felt like a third wheel.

They sat down at the re-opened Fortescue's for a snack halfway through the afternoon. Mrs. Weasley decided she'd peek in and check on George at the Weasley Wizard Wheezes leaving the trio alone to their ice cream.

Harry prodded at the treat absently, his mind wandering as he wondered where Draco was and what he was doing. Was he planning on coming back to school too? He'd better be…

"So…" Hermione said, in a tone that was obviously meant to be disarming but bore hints of premeditation, "It's a good thing all the trials are over, isn't it?"

Harry hummed in agreement, noticing the movement of Ron and Hermione's eyes. They'd planned this, he knew.

Ron sighed heavily, apparently not happy with the Hermione's slow method of getting to the point, "We forgive you, alright?"

Hermione reached across the table and grabbed his hand, "You did a terrible thing Harry, but I understand why. We've thought about it and… The war made us all do things we would never have done otherwise. We want to get past this, for all of us."

Harry smiled hesitantly, squeezing Hermione's hand, "I really am sorry. It was selfish of me."

Hermione nodded, "This isn't the time for any of us to be holding grudges."

Harry agreed wholeheartedly and went back to eating his ice cream with a genuine smile.

"Malfoy, huh?" Ron asked bluntly, making Harry stop mid-bite.

He cleared his throat, "Yeah. Don't ask me how it happened, sometimes even I can't figure it out."

Hermione shrugged, "Well he must have some redeeming qualities, not that I've ever seen them."

"He does." Harry assured, "He's dramatic, sarcastic and has one hell of a sensitive ego but—" Harry began to feel a tense longing as he described him, "But… he's actually not so bad."

Ron gave him a weird look and Hermione stared at him dreamily, "Well… when it comes to looks you can certainly pick them."

"What!" Ron choked, his face turning red.

Hermione had the decency to flush a little, "I'm only saying, Ron. Malfoy, well _Draco_, is certainly not ugly. But of course, he's not my type."

Ron looked only slightly satisfied with that answer and Harry shook his head, ignoring them as they bickered back and forth for a while. He wished he had Draco by his side right now… Where the hell was he? He'd read in the paper that he'd been released and had returned to Malfoy Manor but had heard nothing more from the blond. Maybe Draco was waiting for Harry to contact him first?

Later that same day, as fate would have it, Harry saw Draco in Flourish and Blots. As he was picking up his 7th year Transfigurations book he caught a flash of pale hair and his heart rate sped up, hope inflating him like a balloon. Part of him was prepared for disappointment but his heart thumped hard when he realized it really was Draco. The blond was standing and skimming through a book he'd just picked up. He was still too thin, his usually well-fitted clothes a bit baggier than normal.

"Draco." Harry whispered and the man's head whipped towards him in surprise.

The blond nearly dropped the book he was holding.

Harry took a few steps forward, hesitant, "Are you alright? I haven't heard from you."

Draco swallowed and Harry's eyes followed the bob of his Adam's apple, "I haven't heard from you either." He whispered, "I'm fine. Just… Shopping for school supplies."

Harry breathed a sigh of relief, "So you _are_ coming back."

"Of course." Draco said, "I wouldn't _not_ finish school."

"Good. Great really. Maybe we coul—"

"Harry!" Mrs. Weasley said suddenly, rushing over with a very fake smile on her face, "There you are. If you'll excuse us." She said quickly to Draco, not even looking him in the face, "We've got to hurry to the apothecary now, Harry. Come on."

She was already dragging him away before he could even stutter out his refusal. Draco shrugged and gave him a soft smile before waving goodbye. But Harry was sure he saw a fogginess in his pale eyes and tightness in his expression. Still, it wouldn't do to make a scene. He had enough trouble dodging reporters as it was.

In a way, Harry understood everyone's hesitance to believe him about Draco. But he was also surprised with the lack of support he received. Even if they couldn't trust Draco, they could trust Harry, right?

Harry's greatest trouble over the last few weeks had been the distance between Draco and himself. They were finally safe, the war was over, Draco was free, Harry was free, and yet… They hadn't really made an attempt to get back together. Harry was disappointed. He felt stupid for expecting Draco to run into his arms and kiss him… He knew the Slytherin had never been very romantic or anything…

But you'd think they'd maybe talk at least once about how they felt and what they were going to do now. There were nearly no opportunities for them to, but that didn't stop Harry's foul mood over it.

So now, here he was, sitting on the train to Hogwarts for the very last time, crammed in with as many of his friends that could comfortably fit, and still, he was unhappy. The moods of his friends were not as somber as his own, though Ron and Hermione understood him the best. They shot him a few concerned looks as he scowled out at the countryside, but they didn't bother saying anything.

As much as Harry wanted to go back to Hogwarts, he wasn't entirely looking forward to everything that would go along with it. It was going to be crowded, and he was more famous than ever, making crowds daunting. Most of the students, in fact, would have to stay in their same year instead of moving ahead. Many of them hadn't gotten a chance to learn very much with the Carrows in charge. And plenty others hadn't gone to school at all during the war, their parents refusing to let them. Along with all of the muggle born students who hadn't gotten their letter to attend last year, Hogwarts was going to be filled to its maximum.

"Harry." Ginny said, gently tugging on his arm.

He sighed and turned to look at her. He still cared for her deeply and the few times they'd been able to speak last summer before he, Ron and Hermione had been on the run, she'd been nothing but sweet and supportive. Since she was purportedly in a magical coma, she couldn't attend school last year and had mostly stayed home. No one was saying anything about it, but it seemed like she was… relapsing.

Harry knew he couldn't be the only one to notice her saying odd things, her eyes misting over, her face going slack as she went into trances. He knew he wasn't the only one who was concerned that she could sleep for more than a day and still wake up tired. But the Weasleys were notorious for denial. They weren't commenting on it, so Harry kept his worries to himself as well.

"Yes, Ginny?" He asked.

"Smile." She said softly, offering him a smile of her own.

Harry sighed and gently patted her head tucking her hair behind her ear. He struggled to smile for her, knowing the expression was mangled on his face, but she seemed happy enough that he was even attempting it.

"It'll be alright," She said wrapping her arms around his middle and leaning in close.

"Yeah," Harry replied feeling drained. In those first days after Draco had left with Snape, Ginny had taken care of him so fully, he became nearly dependent on her for his mental stability.

Being with her was like being asleep; he worried less, he ached less… She kept him level, even without saying a word. For the first time in what felt like forever, his mind was quiet. No self pitying comments or angry ranting, just peaceful silence. Ginny had that affect on him. She stopped the chaos of the world for just a few moments and made everything seem as soothing as a lullaby

He closed his eyes and relaxed against her. She smelled sweet, like flowers and he felt one of her hands running through his hair, making him almost dizzy with sleepiness.

For what felt like the first time in eternity, he was relaxed. Deep inside, there was still a little tense part of himself, waiting and terrified of what the future would bring. But for the most part, he was content with letting it come to him as it may.

It felt odd getting off the train in his new school robes. He was sure his friends were experiencing the same feeling. The usually vibrant group was suddenly taciturn, looking at each other and the other students with eyes far too wise for their years. This was the last time Harry would ride this train here. Why didn't he feel more… _sad?_ He wanted to feel this was something monumental, something important. But strangely it felt normal. He accepted it.

He was used to losing things.

He squeezed into a thestral drawn carriage with as many of his friends as he could while the others had to go into another. Ginny, unfortunately, did not end up riding with him.

Hermione reached over and touched his hand, "Harry." She said seriously, "Relax. You look like you're ready to pull your wand on someone."

He smiled softly, "Sorry, 'Mione. It's just… It's odd isn't it? I thought I'd… I don't know; _feel_ more. This is our last year at Hogwarts."

She smiled back, "No, it's the first year of the rest of our lives. No more Voldemort. No more war. You should be happy."

He nodded, "I'm trying."

She patted his hand once more with a soft, "I know you are."

Harry was glad his friends were being so patient with him. He knew it made little sense for him to be so morose but… He just felt so lost. He'd never known a world without having to fight for his life. The only time he hadn't been worried about Voldemort was when he was with the Dursley's and that was _not_ a part of his life he wanted to remember. It was as though now that the war was over, he had nothing left. It was all he'd ever known. He realized now, without something to fight for, the foundation of his life was shaky at best. He'd never learned _normalcy_. His years before he was eleven were filled with abuse and neglect. His years afterward were filled with fighting for his life and lives of others. Now what did he have?

He was lost and tired and lonely and confused. He was trying to see the positives, _really_ he was! But they just seemed so small in comparison to the heavy weight of his regrets and doubts.

He tried to ignore the awed whispering and bows of some of the other students when he went to sit in the Great Hall. It was the younger years that were the most reverent. They looked at him as though he was a god. Harry didn't look back, trying to discourage the hero worship before it could start in earnest.

He saw Draco. He saw him, sitting beside Astoria, whispering to her and smiling and something in him seemed to clench. He felt a fire of envy that should not be there begin to burn in his chest as he watched with slowly narrowing eyes. Draco glanced up at him once, looking a little shocked before his darkened gray gaze fell to his lap.

He didn't look up again.

Harry stared down at his empty golden plate, hardly paying attention as Professor Sprout led the first year students to be sorted. Headmistress McGonagall now sat in Dumbledore's spot, overseeing only. Only Ron elbowing him got him to clap whenever a first year was sorted into their house.

Like Harry had predicted, Hogwarts was truly filled to its capacity. There were more than double the amount of first years there usually were and nearly all of the tables were cramped. Except for Slytherin. At the end, where the 8th years sat, the green and silver house table seemed almost pathetically empty in comparison to the others. Harry supposed many of the students might be serving some time or maybe… they were dead.

Why was everything so…_wrong_?

Shouldn't killing Voldemort have fixed everything? Wasn't the world supposed to go back to normal?

When the sorting was finished, the new Headmistress stood and addressed the school. She was both confident and tactful and Harry gave the woman his full attention out of respect. She spoke of healing and moving towards a new future that could only be as bright as they made it. She then informed them, with a flick of her wand, that table arrangements by house were disbanded.

She'd changed the banners that hung over each table, so that only one of the originals remained over each respective table, and the others simply held the Hogwarts insignia. She encouraged unity between the houses and strongly discouraged all unfriendly house rivalries.

With a final warning about not going into the Dark Forest, the feast began. Harry tried to shake off some of his unhappiness, encouraged by McGonagall's powerful words. He even managed to laugh with some of his friends and not get bored with the same questions over his many war stories.

"_Yes_," Harry said pointedly to Seamus, "We really rode the god damned dragon. Now can you shut up so I can eat in peace?" He finished though there was no spite in his words.

Ron seemed to enjoy retelling the stories, and they continued to get more and more outlandish every time. The last time he'd told of his and Hermione's trip down into the Chamber of Secrets, not only had he been able to speak impeccable parseltongue, the basilisk had come alive once more, twitching and writhing and he'd single handedly slayed it.

Harry was paying attention as best he could to Ron's retelling of their visit to Luna's house, but his eyes wouldn't stop flicking over to Draco. The man and the rest of his fellow 8th years were nearly entirely silent, only whispering among themselves. Harry knew many of them were only here on release due to his petition to Kingsley about letting the student who started the war under age finish out school. Some, like Pansy Parkinson, were technically on house arrest, and therefore couldn't leave the castle. Harry was glad that hadn't happened to Draco.

Still, the more he watched, Draco interact with Astoria, the more jealous he started to feel. He knew he shouldn't. But… She just looked so close to him. The way she touched his arm, the way she leaned in close to whisper to him. And Draco did absolutely nothing to dissuade her. In fact, he had a soft sort of affectionate look on his face whenever he spoke to her.

Through the entire feast, Harry couldn't help but stare. He noticed that Draco actually ate some of his dinner; more than usual anyway. But then, that didn't strike him as odd. What _did_ strike him as odd was when dessert came. Harry's own favorite treacle tart was on the menu tonight and he gladly partook. He was so busy chewing happily on the sweet, that it took him a moment to realize Draco hadn't made a grab for anything.

That worried him more than anything else Draco could've done. How much had the blond changed in a year, not to eat anything for dessert. It was a simple thing, something most wouldn't care about. But it was one of those tiny things that just made up who Draco was. Voldemort could've come back and the Draco that Harry remembered still would've at least taken a bite of something before preparing for a duel. This Draco was so… _different_. Harry felt like he'd have to learn the man all over again.

The feast ended late, like it usually did. The first years had already been lead out by a few prefects but the remainder of the students dawdled a bit longer.

The dorms at Hogwarts could only hold so many students at once. Many of them would now be mixed between years but all would be undoubtedly full. The 1st years alone could take up two dorm rooms. Because of this, and the fact that more than one 8th year couple had gotten married over the summer, all of the 8th years would be given private rooms.

From what Harry'd heard, only some of the rooms had actually always served that purpose. Hogwarts didn't have enough private rooms for all of them. So many of the prepared rooms were once old class rooms that were refurbished. Harry didn't care at all. He was happy to be able to have his own room. A room that was _really_ his. That no one could lock him in or out of on whim like his uncle and aunt had.

Plus, he didn't want to disturb his dorm mates with his nightmares. They were worse than they'd ever been. Ron had tried to be understanding over the summer but Harry knew his friend was tiring quickly of being woken by screams.

8th years had to go up to McGonagall to get their room assignments. When Harry went up to her, he realized that his name was very near the top of the long list she had. It confused him since his last name began with the letter P.

"4th floor, east wing, portrait of a girl in a yellow dress. The password is… _Mugwort._" She whispered the last word so lowly, Harry had to lean in close and he hardly heard it.

He nodded though, intending to change the password the first time he could. Something a little more difficult to guess at than 'mugwort'. He'd feel safer if his password was very, very hard to guess.

But then… why did he need to feel extra safe? Voldemort was dead. He was in Hogwarts among friends. Was he really becoming so paranoid?

Harry shrugged off the question, finding it much too deep to contemplate now. Maybe when he was in his new room he would have time for deep thought. He exited the Great hall with his friends not far behind.

"So where's your room, Harry?" Ron asked as he hurried to catch up and fall into stride beside him.

"4th floor." Harry answered simply, "I'll show you all tomorrow I guess. And you can show me yours. Right now, I'm just really tired."

"What?" Ron whined, "But Seamus and I were—"

"We understand, Harry." Hermione cut him off, "We have all year. No need to rush anything."

Ron frowned a little but nodded in resolute understanding. In 6th year, that would've been unheard of. But Ron had matured a lot during the war, and in living alone with Harry and Hermione, came to learn a lot more about them than he'd previously known. Harry smiled in thanks and took off, leaving them to go wherever they would.

But rather than go directly to the 4th floor, he thought he'd look around on the 2nd floor a bit. That's where Draco's room was, he thought. At least, if his lip reading skill could be trusted. He wandered a bit, looking down every hallway for a flash of that pale hair, but he didn't see a thing. He gave up after only minimal effort, figuring he'd just see the boy the next day. Maybe actually arrange to meet him rather than sneak around trying to find him.

As he turned to head to the stairwell his heart caught in his throat when he realized someone was standing behind him. He'd already pulled out his wand and had a hex on the tip of his tongue but it fell away when he saw the amused smirk of Draco Malfoy.

"Fuck. Don't sneak up on me." Harry snapped seriously.

Draco's smirk fell away and Harry was nearly sad. The flat, emotionless expression that replaced it was much worse, "Sorry." Draco said simply.

Harry nodded once before sighing softly, "It's alright. You just startled me, is all."

Silence stretched between them for a few long seconds after that, their eyes trained completely on each other. Each of them coming to terms with the last year and the last few months in particular. Each of them struggling to find themselves and figure out where they stood.

Harry knew that behind those placed gray eyes was a whirlwind of thoughts and questions. He knew because the same was ravaging his mind. What were they supposed to do now? How did they start again? Where could they even start to pick up the pieces? How much had they changed?

Draco smiled a little and took a few hesitant steps forward. More than a little pleasantly surprised that the Slytherin had had the guts to make the first move, Harry smiled in return and stepped closer as well. He swallowed once before carefully pulling Draco into a hug.

It was awkward for the first moment but both of them eased into it quickly, taking up familiar positions. Their bodies seemed to fit against each other like puzzles pieces. Harry nuzzled his face into Draco's neck, closing his eyes as the man's warmth and scent washed over him. Oh how he'd missed this…

"Harry…" Draco muttered softly, the vibrations of his soft, deep voice rumbling through his chest, "We have a lot to talk about."

Harry laughed, "Fuck yeah, we do." He said too giddy to care about his foul language. He was just realizing that Draco Malfoy was in his arms and it was perfect beyond words, "I really don't care right now though. I'm tired and I just… You're here. Merlin, _you're here!_"

Draco chuckled lightly at that, "Mm, I noticed." He whispered, "And you're _alive_." He finished with a reverent sort of lilt in his voice.

Harry truly hadn't bothered to think about how terrible it must've been for Draco to have thought he was dead, even if only for a few minutes. He felt awful for it now, unable to imagine what Draco must've gone through in those few moments of terror. He swore silently to himself to never scare the blond that badly again.

"I am." Harry assured, pressing closer in hopes of Draco feeling his heartbeat, "So umm… your room. Where's your room?" he asked.

Draco pulled away slightly and looked at Harry's face, obviously amused. One of his pale eyebrows even arched up causing a bit of heat to flood Harry's cheeks.

"My room?" he asked.

"I… I didn't mean. I mean, it's not like we're going to, you know, _do_ anything. We only just got back but I just. I really just wanted to sort of spend time with you because I don't think I can let you out of my sight again for at least a month or so. Not that I'd like stalk you or anything. Or become super possessive. I know you're independent and everything so if you don't want me to go to your room, that's fine. But I just wanted to because, well, you're you and—"

"Harry." Draco interrupted, "You're rambling."

Harry snorted an embarrassed laugh, "Yeah, sorry."

Draco just shook his head before moving to step past Harry and walk down the corridor. Harry turned and looked after him, confused.

"Well?" Draco said glancing over his shoulder, "You coming?"

Harry grinned and nodded, hurrying to the man's side. Draco's room was pretty out in the open and Harry could tell it was probably one of the ones that used to be a classroom. The door was wooden but etched on it was an owl whose large eyes focused on them immediately.

"Selkie." Draco said to the door simply and the latch clicked and opened, "Have to change that tomorrow…" the blond mumbled to himself as he stepped inside.

The room was small, sort of like a hotel, Harry thought. There was a small sort of sitting area with one couch and a desk and only a partition that blocked it from what was meant to be Draco's bedroom. There was a door in the corner that probably led to a bathroom and a wardrobe squeezed in next to the bed. Draco didn't seem affected by the size of the room and he didn't comment on anything in it. He simply pulled off his robes and threw them onto the couch before reaching up to loosen his tie.

Harry only watched, a smile spreading on his lips at the familiarity of it. _This_ he could deal with. _This_ he remembered.

He came up behind the blond and slid his arms around his waist. He went to whisper in his ear but found he had to lean up on the balls of his feet to do so.

The words of admiration died on his lips and he instead found himself saying, "When the hell did you get so bloody tall?"

Draco chuckled before turning around and pressing a soft kiss to Harry's forehead, "The same time you got so bold?" He said motioning to Harry's arms still around his waist.

Harry pulled back with a smile and took off his own school robes, finding all the layers of fabric between them quite annoying. Now in just his uniform, he embraced Draco again, happy to feel the boy's body more clearly. No words were exchanged and they stood thus for longer than Harry had intended.

Draco let out a small sound that Harry only barely heard, but he most certainly felt the man's arms tightening around him. It sounded almost like a whimper. He wondered what Draco could be thinking about. Deciding it was time to get some of that messy talking business out of the way, Harry pulled back slightly and motioned to the bed.

"Let's sit down." He whispered and Draco nodded absently, allowing himself to be led and obediently sitting down next to Harry.

"I'm sorry." Draco said again, just as suddenly as he'd said it the last time.

Harry nodded seriously some of his happiness draining as he remembered all of the things Draco had done.

"I know you are." He said honestly, "I've… seen some of Snape's memories and I know that Dumbledore would've… would've died anyway. That it was necessary for you to… do what you did. But why didn't you just tell me?"

Draco sighed, "I suppose I was ashamed. It didn't help that I completely avoided even thinking about what my father had done to make sure I was loyal. I broke down whenever I did because I was so sure I would die… I wasn't going to take the mark. I was too scared. I didn't talk about it at first because it seemed too personal and then later because… It was so much easier to hide it. And I was scared that… if you knew there was no hope for me you'd…"

Harry shook his head, "You should've known better." He scolded, "You should've known I would've still loved you."

"There was so much going on already. I was too scared to risk it. Part of me just hoped to spend as much time with you as possible before you'd hate me."

Harry took Draco's hand, cradling it in both of his and finding comfort in the touch.

"I couldn't hate you. Especially not now. You've done so much for me, risked your life.

And really your messages were amazingly helpful as soon as I figured out what the hell they meant." He joked slightly and Draco's lips curled the tiniest bit.

"Honestly," Harry continued with a shake of his head, " 'Follow your mate.' I thought you were talking about Ron and I stupidly went stumbling through the forest a few times after him."

Draco cocked his head slightly in question, "Weasley?" He asked, "Why'd you have to follow him. Wouldn't he have been with you?"

Harry coughed once and reached up to rub the back of his neck, "Well… it's a long story. But he sort of went AWOL for a little bit."

Much to Harry's surprise, Draco didn't spit any insults about 'disloyal weasels' or anything. He simply nodded and stayed silent, waiting for Harry to continue the conversation.

"Well I… Ginny. Ginny forgave you a long time ago. She told me about the Felix Felicis. And I… I forgive you too, I guess. I mean. I have to. I can't lose you again so…"

"Not for that." Draco said softly, turning away, "Don't force yourself to forgive me because you want a relationship. If you forgive me, then say it. If you don't… Then it's my job to redeem myself. Not yours to force something that isn't there."

A bit startled by the response, Harry only nodded at first. But when he thought about, when he truly tried to search his mind for any lingering doubts or hatred or even anger, he could find very little. He was still a bit upset with the way things turned out; hell, everyone was. He was still upset that Cedric was dead, that Voldemort had come back in the first place, that Sirius was gone, that Fred was gone. But he understood that those things had happened and he accepted them. Sure he'd have preferred they hadn't happened but that wouldn't undo them.

He would've preferred Draco not do what he'd done. Harry would've loved to go back and change it. But it seemed everything had worked out at least and he knew that Draco's intentions had always been in the right place. He'd never be happy about it, but then he didn't think anyone had the right to expect him to be.

But this wasn't about Draco's past. This was about whether they had a possibility of a future, and Harry believed they did.

"I forgive you." He said firmly.

Draco didn't turn back to face him but Harry saw his lips curving into his almost smile once again. Harry was a bit frustrated with the man's halfhearted expression. He couldn't help but wonder when he'd be able to see true life on Draco's face again.

_When will I be able to get him to laugh again... Hell, when will _I_ be able to laugh again?_ Harry thought, recognizing that he too was more somber now.

"We can let it all go, Draco." Harry continued reaching out to place his hand over the Slytherin's, "It's in the past where it belongs."

Draco's eyes flashed brighter than usual when he glanced up, "You mean that?"

Harry nodded, "Of course. It's over. The only thing that matters now is what's ahead of us."

"It's late." Draco said suddenly, and Harry blinked at the change in topic.

"…Uh, yeah." He replied.

"Are you going to your room?" Draco asked finally looking up fully again and holding Harry's gaze.

"Actually… I kinda thought I'd be staying here." Harry said before quickly backtracking, realizing how presumptuous that was, "I mean—only if you want me to. Or I can just, you know, go back to my room. I haven't even seen it yet, and I do want to. So it's no big deal at all. I completely understand and everything. This is only our first night back after all so it makes sense that we wouldn't—I mean I wasn't intending on doing _that_. Just sleeping with you. I mean, not _sleeping_ with you, just. Oh Merlin…"

Draco rolled his eyes and reached out to grab Harry's blushing face. His thumbs stroked absently along his cheekbones and he held Harry's gaze, leaning in close.

"You can stay." He said simply, his breath warm against Harry's skin.

Harry swallowed once, "I'm sorry. For rambling, you know. I just… I don't know."

Draco nodded as though he understood, even though Harry hadn't truly explained anything. Draco's eyes looked heavier up close, darkened and dulled but somehow, much, much deeper.

"You look so… tired." Draco said softly, a frown marring his gorgeous face, "Like you haven't slept the entire year you were gone."

Harry shook his head not willing to tell Draco about just how much he'd suffered and exactly how little sleep he'd gotten. Trauma could be saved for another night. No, tonight, all they'd needed to do was get the necessary reconciliation out of the way to make room for just enjoying each other's company again. They deserved some peace for at least a bit. They would take the rest as it came.

"I am tired." He admitted honestly.

Draco nodded once before pulling away and standing, motioning for Harry to do so as well.

"We'll have to make the bed big enough for both of us." He said in explanation as he pulled out his wand.

Harry nodded, watching only absently as he pulled off his tie and unbuttoned his shirt. He disliked sleeping in shirts unless it was too cold to do otherwise. But he felt heat rising to his face as he realized he didn't have any pajamas or anything. He knew Draco preferred to sleep in his boxers, and Harry would sometimes as well; especially considering the activities Draco and he usually got up to whilst in bed. But for just sleeping he usually liked something that didn't leave him feeling quite so… exposed. This was only the second time he'd really even spoken to Draco since the war had ended. He wasn't entirely sure he was ready to just hop back into bed with him. That sort of intimacy would take a little more time to rebuild.

He tried to recall how confident he used to be. How he'd easily strip his clothes in front of Draco without so much as batting an eye. He reminded himself that he trusted the blond; as much as he could anyway. His hands, thankfully, didn't do anything embarrassing, like tremble as he removed his belt and unbuttoned his trousers.

He turned his head once and saw Draco had already spelled the bed to a more accommodating size, though it now seriously dwarfed the room it was in. The blond had already pulled off his own trousers and was sitting on one side of the bed.

After removing all of his clothing save his boxers, which were blue with tiny hippogriffs flying across them, Harry walked back to the bed. He eagerly lifted the covers and got in, happy to be safe from the chill of the stone room

Draco watched him with a familiar wariness in his eyes and Harry felt a sort of tenseness in his chest. He remembered this too. Suspicion. It wasn't a pleasant feeling.

Draco moved to pull up his side of the covers as well but Harry stopped him.

"Your shirt?" he asked, knowing for a fact that Draco disliked sleeping in them.

Draco's eyes became glassy and even the smallest lines of expression on his face faded. It was terrifying to watch, truly. The blond shook his head once and moved to pull the covers up again but Harry grabbed his hand to stop him. He narrowed his eyes pointedly in suspicion, remembering perfectly clear what had happened the last time Draco had insisted on hiding his body.

Draco blinked once before frowning and turning away.

Harry watched, satisfied and relieved as Draco unbuttoned his shirt and it slid from his shoulders. The relief was quickly wiped away when he saw the many faint scars that had been carved into the man's supple flesh. He swallowed and felt raw guilt gnawing on his stomach as he now realized Draco's reason for trying to hide. It was embarrassment, not deviousness.

Wordlessly, Draco got into the bed, turning to face Harry, a soft half-smile on his lips, "I know." He whispered, "Ugly."

Harry shook his head, "No, Draco. I-I didn't mean. It's just that last time—"

"I know." Draco interrupted again, "But you're right. No secrets this time."

Harry nodded reluctantly, still feeling like an ass. Draco scooted closer and carefully slid his arm around Harry's waist. The touch was calming and familiar and Harry found himself easily falling into it. Both of them shifted around a bit in the bed until they found the most comfortable position, Harry's nervous insecurity slowly easing away.

Harry's head was on Draco's shoulder and he lifted it once to look at the man's face one more time. Draco stared back, his face open and calm. Harry, encouraged by Draco's obvious relaxed state, leaned in for a kiss. He hardly realized it would truly be their first since reconnecting but by the time he did, it was too late to pull back. Their lips touched and it was as if the entire world melted into nonexistence.

Harry's eyes fluttered shut at the soft movement of Draco's lips against his and he moaned softly at the flash of a hot, wet tongue against his lips. It was just so… good. It didn't even have to be wildly passionate and intense, or even very long. It was like a lightening bolt of pleasure that struck them both at the same time as their happiness fully solidified.

They were here, together, and they'd never part again if they could help it.

The kiss was short and sweet but it punctuated their evening perfectly.

"I love you." Harry murmured, fully believing the words with all his heart.

"I love you too." Draco said and just like the last time, it caused Harry to go a little weak and shuddery.

They relaxed again afterwards, because Harry truly was tired. He snuggled into Draco's warm body, his embarrassment nearly entirely gone as he remembered the many, many nights he'd done this. Draco was silent, staring up at the ceiling and absently stroking the Gryffindor's hair.

"Odd how idioms contradict, isn't it?" Draco whispered into the silence of the room. Harry raised his head to look at the blond, completely confused.

"I just can't follow your train of thought anymore." Harry joked.

Draco sighed but there were traces of amusement in the sound, "I was thinking about the past. Not literally, figuratively. Funny how they say your past doesn't define your future. But then also say that you can't know where you're going if you don't know where you've been."

Harry nodded sleepily, "Yeah, funny…"

Draco sighed again, but Harry could almost hear the man's smile, "Go to sleep, Harry."

" 'Kay."

* * *

><p>Well, this chapter in general isn't as good as I'd like. I feel I jumped too quickly back into their relationship. But I was sick of Harry and Draco nervously avoiding each other. So they actually spend some time together, yay! Things will get better with time, I think.<p>

Leave a review with your thoughts or if you see any errors or anything that I may have missed. :]


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N:** I got a chance to finally reply to some of my reviews. But I read and appreciate all of them even if I can't always reply.

I apologize on the wait for this chapter, finals and everything. School's catching up with me. But I'm already more than halfway through the next one. It should never be more than a month's wait for a chapter but I'll try to update regularly.

Here's your chapter, if you enjoy it (or hate it), leave a review so I know. :]

* * *

><p>Chapter 4<p>

* * *

><p>Harry's eyes blinked open once in the middle of the night and he nearly jumped up when he realized he didn't know where he was. But then it flooded back to him and he sighed and relaxed, smiling as Draco's arm wound tighter around his stomach. He turned to look at the blond man and carefully pushed his hair from his forehead.<p>

Draco's face was tense, his lips set in a hard frown, his brows drawn together. The blond's arm tightened further and Harry struggled to breathe through the constricting squeeze. He realized now the action hadn't been one for comfort, but only a reaction to a nightmare. Harry frowned too, but only because he didn't like to see Draco suffering. He had his own nightmares, he most certainly couldn't judge Draco for his. Harry was surprised he'd made it this long without a nightmare yet, honestly.

"Draco," He whispered into the darkness of the room, softly shaking the man's shoulder.

Draco's eyes immediately snapped open and he took a gasping breath.

He looked around the room anxiously before seeming to remember where he was. He gave a humorless chuckle and collapsed, his tense muscles relaxing all at once as he buried his head in the pillow.

"Sorry." He whispered and Harry just smiled and shook his head pressing a kiss to Draco's hair.

"Nothing to be sorry for." Harry assured, readjusting himself to get a nice grip on Draco's body. He held Draco firmly, slowly rubbing his back and feeling as he relaxed back into sleep.

Harry was joining him again before he even realized…

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Draco jumped up at the sound of screams. Bloodcurdling screams of terror and pain. He'd already grabbed his wand before he remembered again where he was and who he was with. Harry was writhing on the bed, his long screams punctuated with sobs and whimpers whenever his voice gave out.

"No! Please, NO!" Harry shouted nearly sitting up before falling back his eyes still firmly closed.

Draco was trembling from the shock of it before he reached out and touched him. Harry jerked but didn't wake up, still screaming and struggling against an invisible horror.

"H-Harry." Draco said, his voice weak as he slowly started shaking the man, trying to get him to wake up.

But Harry was firmly planted in whatever nightmare he was experiencing. Draco swallowed down his apprehension and got up on his knees, grabbing both of Harry's shoulders and shaking him roughly.

"Harry. Wake up, Harry." He said firmly.

Harry's eyes blinked open once and the screams stopped. But they fell closed again and he continued softly whimpering and halfheartedly struggling.

"Harry." Draco said a little softer, trying to pull the Gryffindor into an upright position, He straddled Harry's hips, pulling him up into a hug and holding him tight, "Harry, come on. Wake up."

The dark haired man was breathing hard but all of the other sounds he'd been making stopped. Draco felt as Harry's arms slowly came up to wrap around his back and he let out a sigh of relief. He felt Harry nuzzle against his chest before letting out a shuddery breath and squeezing him tighter.

"I… I'm sorry."

Draco rolled his eyes, not understanding why Harry would feel the need to apologize. In a way he figured the man simply felt bad about waking him up in such an… _unorthodox_ way, but Draco couldn't care less. He wouldn't want to sleep if Harry was suffering beside him. He was glad he could wake him up and stop the dreams from progressing further.

"It's alright, Harry. That's why I'm here."

Harry nodded once before slowly backing away and trying to scrub at his eyes inconspicuously; as if Draco could miss it.

Harry cleared his scratchy throat and said, "Do you know what time it is?"

Draco nodded absently, still staring at Harry's face, trying to make sure he was truly okay. He picked up his wand from where he'd sat it on the bed and cast a tempus charm.

"It's 6:30."

Harry groaned softly and rubbed his eyes, "Time to get up then. You'll have the first shower?"

Draco smirked trying to lighten the mood, "So you can lay back down like a lazy bastard you are? Sure, I'll go first."

Harry smiled half heartedly but Draco could see the lingering darkness in the man's eyes. He needed a few moments to collect himself, and Draco was more than happy to oblige. All he ever wanted in the entire world was for Harry to be happy. It was the only thing that meant anything to him anymore, and he'd do just about anything to make it happen. He wanted Harry to be happy like he used to be, before the war ripped him to shreds.

No… He wanted him happier even than that. He wanted to make sure Harry never frowned again.

If Harry needed time to himself, Draco would give it. Simple as that.

Resolved, Draco went to the bathroom and took a leisurely shower, just to be sure that Harry had adequate alone time. The bathroom was small and simple, the same as the room it was connected to. Draco hadn't expected any better. It was only Hogwarts after all. Plus, he was lucky to be here, let alone have his own room. After nearly two months holding in Azkaban, any place was a paradise.

Sleeping with Harry had been like heaven. It'd been so long since he'd felt a warm body beside him. It' d been so easy to fall asleep, with the lullaby of Harry's breathing and steady heartbeat whenever he pressed his ear to the man's warm chest. It'd been so nice to feel safe with strong arms holding him tight. Safety was a feeling he'd taken for granted before the war. Now, he knew, he never would again.

When he finished his shower, he dried off thoroughly before leaving the bathroom. As much as he loved Harry, the intimacy they'd had before wasn't going to just pop back into existence. He wasn't exactly… _ashamed_ of his scars. But he certainly didn't like them. He'd been working for months on a potion to make them fade. Of course, he'd had little else to do while sitting in a cell. Potions theory was a good distraction from… the things they did in prison. Just because they didn't have as many dementors didn't mean Azkaban was any better.

In fact, the many Aurors (and Aurors-in-training because of the short staff) took no little pride in torturing previous Death Eaters in any way they could. And as soon as it looked like Draco was going to get off easy, the torture had increased, his jailors not believing he deserved the leniency from the courts.

Draco took a deep breath and calmed himself, pushing those thoughts away, before he opened the bathroom door.

"The shower's all— yours…" He trailed with a small smile as he saw that Harry had fallen back asleep.

He dressed first, letting the man get his rest. Harry looked so exhausted all the time. His bright emerald eyes heavily shadowed, dark circles beneath them a testament to many sleepless nights. Now Draco thought he knew why.

He wasn't a complete stranger to Harry's nightmares. He'd had them before. But usually, the extent of them was maybe one scream upon waking, or possible a few whimpers and half spoken words as he twisted restlessly. The screaming he'd awoken to this morning…

Draco shook his head and tied his tie at his throat before going over to wake Harry. He didn't particularly want to, but if he didn't they'd end up late.

This time, Harry woke up at the lightest touch of Draco's fingertips against his skin.

He blinked up at him petulantly before sitting up, "Do I have to, really?" He whined and Draco laughed as Harry sat up and rubbed his eyes.

Fucking adorable.

He could get used to this.

"_Yes_, you really have to. Up you get, Harry." Draco said tugging on the man's arm to pull him up. Harry hissed when his feet hit the cold stone of the ground and Draco whispered, "Wuss." In his ear.

Harry laughed, a shorter, quieter laugh than Draco remembered, and elbowed the blond in the ribs playfully. Harry seemed perfectly normal again, no traces of his nightmare affecting him. Well… he was as normal as he could be anyway. Draco was still able to see tenseness in Harry's features. There were lines on his young face now, carved from sorrow and wisdom. They weren't many but Draco could already see how the stress had been eroding away at Harry's spirit.

He wanted nothing but for things to get better. For things to go back to the way they used to be. But he couldn't seem to even find it in _himself_, so how could he ask it of Harry? Draco wanted to be normal again, but when he remembered the person he used to be before… It just seemed so damn far away.

Harry was quick about his shower and just as timely in getting dressed. Draco prepared his school bag but Harry simply raised his wand and summoned his. In less than five minutes a loud thumping noise sounded from the door.

"That'll be my books then." Harry said happily as he tied his shoes, "What've you got first, Draco?"

Draco went to the door and found Harry's book bag on the floor, still weakly moving to try and get to the person who'd summoned it. He picked it up and took it inside.

"Hmm… Charms I think." He said absently.

Harry nodded standing and taking the bag from Draco's grasp, throwing the strap over his shoulder. They stared at each other for a few quiet moments before Harry bravely leaned in and pressed a warm kiss to Draco's lips. The Slytherin found himself going slightly weak at the contact and his hands came up to Harry's face, cupping his cheeks. He kissed back slowly, something inside him still wanting to hold back.

He wasn't even entirely sure what it was. Self-consciousness? Guilt?

All he knew was he wanted to fling Harry onto that bed and snog him senseless but he… wasn't. He couldn't understand what was blocking his intent from his actions.

Harry moved just as slowly; apprehensive, testing the waters, so to speak. He nipped softly at Draco's lips and shuffled a little closer. Draco was able to feel the other man's body heat but they moved no closer.

Harry pulled away slowly and a contented smile spread over his face, "Breakfast?" He asked.

Draco nodded, ready to leave for the Great Hall before a thought suddenly occurred to him that had him stopping in his tracks.

"Are we…?" he asked and was met with only a confused look. Draco sighed, "Your friends Harry. The school. What're we going to tell them?"

Harry snorted, "Tell them? I don't owe them any damn announcements."

"No, I meant…" Draco paused for a moment, looking away to hide emotions he thought Harry might be able to read, "Will this be like 6th year, or more… _public_?"

Harry stared at him, "…You want to be a secret?"

Draco shook his head, but only slowly. He was personally extremely adverse to the idea but he honestly cared what Harry thought and wanted. Harry still had friends and a sort of family that he would have to explain this to. Draco knew that he had no one and nothing left but Harry, so breaking the news to anyone who didn't already know wouldn't be an issue. He had no parents, even Severus was dead. Only a few of his friends were here and none of them really cared much what he did. They had their own families to mourn for, and in a few cases, only years of being under the Ministry's thumb to look forward to. Harry however had tons of friends and was constantly in the spotlight. He also had the Weasleys to think about. To Harry, they were as close to family as one could get without being related by blood.

So if Harry wanted to wait… Maybe until his fame died down or something or other, then Draco could handle that. …Probably.

"I want what you want, Harry." Draco answered honestly.

"Yeah well, I'm not the only one in this." Harry snapped, "But I don't want to be a secret. Not at all. All the people that could stop us are dead and I'm not ashamed of you." Harry paused but didn't fall into any of his normal nervous fidgets like biting his lip or rubbing the back of his neck.

"Are you ashamed of me?" The Gryffindor asked.

Draco smiled, the concept was so completely ludicrous, "Of course not."

Harry smiled back then before heading for the door, "Shall we, then? I'm really quite hungry."

Draco followed him happily, curious as to the reactions they would see in the Great Hall when they entered together. Likely, most of the school would be sleepy and distracted enough by "first day of school mania" to notice. At least at first. Draco smirked, betting with himself on how many people would spill food or drinks down their fronts.

They walked in what seemed companionable silence, though Draco noticed Harry's eyes seemed a little shifty, glancing frequently over at his face. They're walk was lengthened by having to wait for one of the moving staircases and by the time they'd reached the first floor, Draco was getting annoyed.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

Harry jumped a little like he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't have been and looked away, "No, nothing at all. Why do you ask?"

Draco sighed, "Because you keep looking at me like you think I'm about to rob you. Which, by the way, wouldn't make any sense because not only do I have plenty of money to care for myself, I know you don't carry any on you."

Harry shook his head, "I don't think you'll rob me."

"Well since I haven't eaten I know it's not something in my teeth." Draco continued, "What is it? We… Don't have to do this now, you know. I know you're under a lot of stress and you're trying to get out of the public eye not further into it. But—"

"_God_, Draco, no. That's not it at all. It's just. You and I—we—I've just never…" Harry sighed and stopped walking turning to face the blond fully, "I'm just… trying to recognize you."

Draco's brow furrowed, "I don't understand."

"You're… different." Harry tried and failed to explain.

"Different…" Draco mimicked not fully grasping what this had to do with Harry staring at him. Of course he was different. It'd been a year; a rather long and terrifying one at that.

"Yes. But… Oh, I don't know. Ignore me. At least until I get my own thoughts figured out." Harry said looking down at his feet.

Draco smiled a little and nodded. He reached out to touch Harry's face on impulse, then tried to pull it back because he wasn't sure it was appropriate since they'd only just reconnected, then he remembered that they loved each other and decided to do it anyway. Harry looked up when Draco's palm touched his cheek.

"You're fine." Draco said, "Just don't forget to share your thoughts when you finally translate them into English?"

Harry chuckled, "Of course not." He reached up and took Draco's hand holding it in his own, "Ready for this? To face everyone?"

Draco took a deep breath, preparing to make himself a social pariah for the rest of his life. Few would blame Harry for dating a Death Eater. They'd instead blame Draco, saying he somehow tricked the hero and stole his heart.

He smiled at Harry, "As ready as I'll ever be."

Xx-XxX-xX

Harry was struggling not to show his nerves, knowing that Draco would immediately pick up on it. He took reassurance in the simple smiles and walked the rest of the way to the Great Hall, not pausing when they reached the doors. Harry held it open for Draco and then took hold of his hand again. Whispers started, sparse and quiet but present none the less. He knew it'd be much worse by lunch; the rumors would have time to spread.

It wasn't very late into the morning, but the Great Hall had already had time to get crowded. Most everyone was already there enjoying their breakfasts.

Instead of going to the Slytherin table, Draco allowed Harry to lead him to the already crowded Gryffindor table. Before Harry could say anything, Draco tapped Ron on the shoulder.

"Think you can scoot over?" he asked, before adding last minute, "For _us_."

More whispers started, the groggy students beginning to wake up and take notice.

"Of course." Ron bit out lowly, his voice one the razors edge between civil and hostile. He moved to scoot down but the students on his other side were so shocked they didn't move.

"Well?" Ron snapped at the people to his left impatiently, "Go on then. Scoot down for them."

Harry gave his best friend a genuine smile of gratitude and Ron struggled to return it before shaking his head as if to say it wasn't a big deal. It was a _damn_ big deal and they all knew it. Hermione offered her own tight smile, her dark eyes wary but accepting. Harry knew it took a lot for his friends to put aside their differences with Draco, but they were trying.

Just as Harry and Draco took their seats, Astoria came through the Great Hall doors. Draco immediately looked toward her with a sort of odd longing on his face. It made Harry's stomach clench. Wordlessly, Draco turned to look at Harry, his eyes questioning. Harry nodded and fought back his grimace as Draco waved Astoria over.

It wasn't that he didn't like her it was just… He forced the thoughts aside. Astoria _saved his life_. She was Draco's close friend and Harry was sure the girl wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. He needed to like her, or at least get along with her. If Draco and Ron could manage then Harry could certainly get along with Astoria.

When Astoria approached the table, Draco stood and held his hand out to her, to offer balance as she took her seat. She smiled courteously, both of their eyes flashing in silent conversation as she took his hand and seated herself beside him. Harry was sort of shocked at how… refined Draco seemed. He'd certainly never done anything like that for Harry. Not that they'd ever had a chance. And not that Harry'd have accepted even if they had. He wasn't a woman, after all.

Ginny was seated directly across from them. She smiled, "Good morning, Draco."

"Good morning, Ginny," He gave her a nod and a small smile.

"Oh and you too, of course," Ginny added to Astoria, "Greengrass, right?"

"That's me," Astoria smiled exuberantly.

Ron peered around Astoria to Draco, "You know Ginny?" He asked curiously.

"Of course. He's only the man that saved me from that coma." Ginny smirked at the gob smacked faces of their housemates, "What?" she asked, "I could've sworn I mentioned that."

Harry rolled his eyes as she casually "forgot" to mention that Draco had been the one to put her in the coma in the first place.

Hermione looked at the blond slightly surprised, "Really? That was you?" She asked.

Draco shifted a little under the mass of stares he was getting from basically the entire school. He cleared his throat, "That was me." He nodded honestly.

"You'll have to tell me about it later." She said seriously, "I studied that coma for months with no progress."

Draco cleared his throat and cast a nervous glance at Harry before nodding, "Sure."

"So, I heard about your trial." Seamus piped up with a hesitant smile, "Wouldn't've guessed you were on our side."

"Well that was the point, after all." Astoria said filling her breakfast plate casually.

A few nervous chuckles rose up from the surrounding Gryffindors.

"Well alright," Dean said amiably, "We were just reliving a few more of Ron's outrageous war stories."

"Hey! They're not outrageous, they really happened!" Ron interrupted and more genuine laughter started up again.

"Have you got any war stories, Mal—Draco?" Parvati asked stupidly making Harry's hands clench into fists. The girl's face paled and her brown eyes widened when she apparently realized how inappropriate that question was, "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean—"

Harry immediately felt the anxiety radiating from the Slytherin, though no one else would be able to see it from his blank face. Draco handled the question graciously, shaking his head.

"I don't have any interesting ones." Draco replied calmly, "Tell us about you and Astoria in the Dark Forest, Harry." Draco said softly, his voice the definition of disarming though the sound seemed practiced, "I've yet to hear it from your point of view."

"It's too early for that." Harry complained.

"Oh come on." Ginny encouraged, "You barely even told _me_ about it. What's one little story? It's a good one isn't it?"

Harry nodded reaching for more of the food that was spread out on the table, if only to feel normal and not like he was putting on a show for the rest of the world. It was true that it was a story that cast both Draco and Astoria in a much better light than the media had. Maybe Ginny and Draco were on to something here. Harry cleared his throat and Ginny leaned forward, her elbows on the table, her face resting on her open palms as though she were ready to hear a very intriguing story.

"Well I was dead." Harry started tactlessly making just about everyone at the table uncomfortable. He flushed a little and continued, "Well I was meant to be anyway, but I wasn't."

"It was so scary!" Astoria interrupted, "I thought we'd lost for sure!"

"Yes well, they couldn't very well just assume I was dead, could they? Considering my track record." Harry joked, and a few people chuckled, "So they sent someone over to check me."

At that point Draco turned to look at Astoria with a sort of disappointed gaze.

"I know," She said glumly, "Stay out of trouble, stay out of the way, don't bring attention to yourself. But I thought it was over Draco, forgive me for taking a few steps forward."

Harry blinked at them, surprised at the dynamic they seemed to have. It was odd to see Draco in the role of disappointed older brother. He could see already how very close they were, sharing messages with only their eyes. He couldn't help but wonder how they got that way.

"It worked out for the best." Harry said finally ceasing his consistent filling of his plate. Only because it was so far over full there was no way even a single morsel more would fit on it, "Astoria came over to me to check my breathing and obviously I was—"

"His heart was pounding," Astoria said with a smile, "I'm still surprised he faked it so long."

Harry laughed, "Would _you_ like to tell the story, then?" He asked with no spite and the girl had the decency to blush and shake her head.

"She asked me about you, Draco." Harry said, now only addressing him, "If you were alive and in the castle. And the last time I saw you, you were."

"Was that when either you or Weasley punched me?" He asked with a playful sort of light in his eyes that made Harry grin.

Hermione smiled, "That was Ron, yes. Technically, it could've been me as well."

Draco look a little shocked, "All three of you were under the cloak?"

Harry nodded absently, "So, I told Astoria you were alive, and she told Voldemort that I was dead. It's a good thing no one else came over to check, and that they had Hagrid carry me, or both she and I would've been in a lot of trouble."

Harry made sure to emphasize how much Astoria had risked by lying about something that could easily have been discovered if anyone had bothered to look. If anyone still doubted the Slytherins, they'd have a much harder time of it now.

Astoria waved it away, "It was nothing really. I did what any friend would've done. You can't imagine what Draco would've been like if you'd really—" She cut herself off, "Well all's well that ends well, as they say." She finished in a hurry before quickly grabbing her glass of milk to save herself from talking anymore.

Draco rolled his eyes.

Harry followed suit.

But Hermione refused to let the sentence go. She continued, "I can imagine. I don't know what I'd have done if anything happened to Ron." She reached across the table and Ron did as well their hands touching once.

The motion was followed by a round of "ooh"s from the surrounding Gryffindors, making Ron turn red and pull his hand back. But it probably didn't escape anyone's notice that Hermione had implied Harry and Draco were a couple.

"So who's happy about the room assignments for 8th years, huh?" Seamus asked with a flirtatious waggle of his eyebrows at Neville. The dark haired boy buried his blush in his coffee mug. Seamus had been pursuing Neville all summer from what Harry had heard and so far Neville had refused him at every turn. Harry had a suspicion that Neville was rather smitten with Luna and had told Seamus once not to bother with his advances but the boy had refused.

Ginny sighed, "Not me. I'll still be in the dorms but now with none of you all to keep me company."

"If I'd known getting married would get me a bigger room…" Ron trailed before wincing and jumping in his seat as he was obviously kicked under the table.

"Ronald!" Hermione hissed.

"What?" he asked obliviously, "Seems like a good reason to get married…"

Hermione's face began to redden and Harry stage whispered to his friend, "Back out now or you'll lose one of your limbs."

Ron's face paled a little, "I meant, it's only o-one good reason. Not the best, or anything. Of course I'd only marry for love!"

Astoria giggled behind her hand.

"Harry," Draco said casually, "Promise to hex me if we ever end up like that."

Ginny laughed loudly before trying to stifle the sound at Hermione's glare, "I always said you two weren't normal!"

Deciding to be kind to Hermione and Ron despite their rather odd relationship, Harry replied, "If by 'end up like that' you mean completely in love I may as well hex you now."

Draco cracked a smile, a _real_ one this time and it warmed Harry's heart.

_This is going to work._ He thought, _We're going to make it._

Xx-XxX-xX

The day passed slowly, wherever Harry and Draco went, whispers followed. Harry was sure this would be in the Daily Prophet by tomorrow. But he didn't care. Most 8th year classes were mixed with all houses as there weren't too many students and much of the coursework was slightly remedial. Harry found that Draco was in almost all of his classes. Except of course, Harry had decided to take Care of Magical Creatures with Hagrid again and Draco took Arithmancy and Ancient Runes.

After dinner that night, Draco followed Harry to his room. Harry was curious to see it and he was anxious for more alone time with Draco. They'd seen each other through most of the day but they hadn't had even a minute alone together. He still wanted time to relearn Draco's personality and get comfortable just being close to him again.

Harry's room was in a seldom used corridor and the girl in the yellow dress smiled and curtsied when she saw him. With one whispered password, the portrait swung out of the way and opened into a huge room. Harry's jaw literally fell open. After seeing Draco's room he hadn't expected much for his own. But what he could see was already twice as big. The room they stepped into was a full sitting room, that had a large window showing a beautiful view of the lake. To the left was a set of double doors that opened into a big bedroom with large fluffy four poster in the center. Another door in his bedroom lead to a bathroom that while simple, was still bigger than Draco's.

Harry immediately felt angry. So what if he was Harry bloody Potter? All the students deserved to be treated equally. He didn't want any preferential treatment!

Draco, instead of being upset that he'd obviously been given a crap room for his past allegiances, just smirked and shrugged, "Being the chosen one has its perks, I suppose."

"Are you kidding!" Harry snapped, "This is terrible! I mean, how could they treat you like that! You and probably all the rest your house for no other reason than that you happen to be a Slytherin! It's just wrong."

Draco smiled and grabbed his shoulders, calming him, "It is Harry. But no one bounces back from war immediately. Things will even out eventually."

Harry scoffed, "I just don't like it."

"Like I said before, that won't change things. You'll have a hard enough time convincing people you don't need to be Minister of Magic when you're old enough. For this, let's just enjoy it, okay?"

Harry frowned down at the warm rug they were standing on, "Well… I guess since you'll probably stay here every so often, it's not so bad."

"See? Always a silver lining." Draco smirked slightly, "Now how about we get started on Transfigurations?"

Harry groaned and flopped down on his couch, "I can't believe Professor Serano assigned homework already. You'd think because he's new he'd be a little nicer."

"McGonagall would never hire a 'nice' Transfigurations teacher." Draco said sitting next to him and tugging his book out of his bag.

"Do we really have to study now?" Harry asked.

"Do you have something else in mind?" Draco asked absently as he flipped through the pages of his book to find the chapter they were on.

Harry felt nerves fluttering in his stomach but he pushed past it, trying to be brave. He'd faced Voldemort after all. This was nothing.

"M-Maybe." He whispered scooting close and placing a hand on Draco's knee. He felt immediately like a filthy pervert, like he was trying far too hard to seduce the man.

Draco stiffened but he immediately lost interest in the book. He looked up at Harry and raised an eyebrow.

Harry forced a soft smile and leaned in to take the awkwardness away with a kiss. Draco didn't refuse. He actually began to relax into it, the book slipping from his lap. The kiss began to deepen further and further until they were entering territory they hadn't seen since Harry was still 16. Harry nipping softly at Draco's lips and Draco was moaning softly and tangling his fingers in and out of Harry's messy hair.

Just as Harry really began to lose himself, Draco pulled away. It was strange for Draco to stop there but Harry didn't protest. Draco just stared for a moment, softly stroking his cheeks.

"I can't believe I actually punched you." He whispered.

Harry wasn't able to hold in a chuckle. They both ended up laughing a little. Harry reached up and softly touched the spot where he knew he'd punched Draco right after the final battle, even lightly pressing his finger tip to the spot where his lip had been split. It'd healed perfectly, not a trace of any marks remaining.

"Do you really think we can make this work?" Draco asked suddenly his smile dropping from his face so quickly it was like it'd never been there.

Harry floundered for an answer, not expecting such a serious question, "O-Of course we can. Of course, Draco. Really. I mean, we love each other. That's all we need. We'll make it work."

Draco nodded looking down, "I suppose I'm just worried about how different things are now."

Harry smiled again, at how vulnerable Draco's face looked now. The frozen over expression was becoming thinner and thinner.

"Maybe we should just, be honest." He said, "About everything. The war and everything that's holding us back. It's not a brick wall between us anymore, just like… plastic wrap."

Draco gave him a strange look.

"It's a muggle invention. It's like this shiny, clear plastic—nevermind." Harry said absently, "But I mean, just get it out of the way and let it go."

Draco looked slightly paler but he nodded again, "You're right. I don't want some heavy shadow of unspoken things following us around."

Harry kissed Draco's lips softly again and the blond responded immediately. Their lips met and parted over and over before Harry started to kiss along Draco's jaw and neck. His skin smelled different than Harry remembered. Like something heady and floral, it smelled good, but not like Draco at all.

"You smell different." He mumbled stupidly.

"Astoria hugged me earlier. Her jasmine perfume has a tendency to cling." Draco whispered softly, obviously enjoying the attention he was receiving.

Harry backed away slowly and tried not show on his face that this upset him. He never wanted to smell _Astoria_ on Draco. Especially since he knew Draco was a good head taller than the girl, even if they'd hugged, how would it be on his neck…?

Harry shoved the jealousy aside as hard as he could and luckily it subsided. Draco loved him. Draco didn't just say he loved anyone and now that there were no outside pressures, the blond certainly wouldn't betray him. Relationships are built on trust. Against all fucking odds, they'd had that last time! Why couldn't he have it now?

"Harry?" Draco asked worriedly.

"Lost in thought." Harry mumbled with a weak smile. He pressed one more kiss to Draco's soft ones but caught another whiff of the jasmine perfume. He sighed and turned away resolutely to pick up his school bag.

"Transfigurations?"

* * *

><p>This chapter ends on a slightly sour note, but don't worry, things will be getting better, promise. Though I may not know everything that will happen yet, I know I won't end this in tragedy. I don't care if I have to argue with my muse for hours. :] Remember, I always like to hear your opinion so review or message me if you'd like.<p> 


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N:** At least this update didn't take more than a month. :]

I went on a camping trip and had absolutely no reception or internet or anything. So that's why it took a little longer.

I hope you enjoy this chapter.

* * *

><p>Chapter 5<p>

* * *

><p>Draco chose not to stay in Harry's room that night. It felt sort of like an invasion of privacy. He'd enjoyed it when Harry had stayed with him, but he wasn't brave enough to do the same. Harry didn't offer for him to stay, so Draco didn't ask.<p>

He regretted it the moment his head hit his pillow. He was painfully lonely all of a sudden. What was forcing him away? A year without Harry, his heart begging for him, craving him so deeply he ached. Now Harry was only a few minutes away, and yet here Draco was. Alone.

He didn't sleep very well, not because of his own nightmares this time, but because he was worried about Harry having one. There'd be no one to wake him up…

He tossed and turned, and then got up and paced in the early hours of the morning. He was almost upset he'd already finished all of his homework because he would've appreciated the busy work now that he was so restless.

He finally slept for a few hours, by sheer force of will before getting up at a reasonable time. He hurried through his shower and got dressed as quickly as he could, anxious to get to Harry in case the man was haunted by anymore nightmares. There were a few students groggily dragging their feet towards the Great Hall for breakfast. The Bloody Baron wished him a good morning with a feral smile that Draco had grown used to over the years. He returned the greeting respectfully to his house ghost and continued on his way to Harry's room.

The staircases were in his favor this morning and he made it there in only a few more minutes. The girl in the yellow dress greeted him with a smile, and she stood up from where she was sitting beneath the branches of an apple tree painted along the edge of her frame.

"Don't worry about a password," She grinned, "He changed it. But said to let you in anyway."

Draco returned the smile, "Thanks."

The portrait swung open easily and Draco stepped inside. Harry was just exiting his bedroom, straightening his tie. His eyes were heavily shadowed and the frown seemed carved into his face until he sighted Draco. His face broke into a smile.

"Hey." He said, "I wasn't expecting you."

"Your door seems to think different." Draco responded.

"Her name is Lisa." Harry said walking towards him. The Gryffindor went to pass Draco stopped him, grabbing his arm.

He pulled the man into his arms and Harry's fake smile melted away. He grabbed onto the blond and held him tightly.

"I'll stay here tonight." Draco said, now certain that Harry didn't want to sleep alone any more than Draco did.

"Why didn't you last night?" Harry whispered into his neck.

"I wasn't sure you wanted me to." Draco answered honestly.

Harry pulled away and gave him a patronizing smile, "I _always_ want you. Be sure of that."

Draco nodded in agreement and pressed a light kiss to his lips before releasing the man from the hug, "Breakfast?"

"Definitely." Harry sighed.

On their way out the door, Draco felt a hand go through his hair and begin pulling it down on his forehead.

He turned and raised an eyebrow in question.

"Stop combing it." Harry shrugged, continuing to walk down the hallway after saying good bye to Lisa.

"You want me to look as messy as you?" Draco laughed as he followed him back downstairs for the Great Hall.

"I just like it that way…" Harry mumbled.

Draco hadn't really thought about it. He was so used to looking the part of a "presentable Malfoy." But, he realized, there was no one here who was judging him by his appearance these days.

"Okay," Draco replied, planning to simply leave it down instead of combing it neatly back from his face. That did not mean, however, that he would just ignore his hair, like Harry seemed to. But if you had hair was as hopeless as Harry's, ignoring it was about all you could do.

Xx-xX

"Good morning, class," The new Defense Against Dark Arts teacher said with a smile.

He was really quite young and good looking for a professor. He reminded Draco a lot of Professor Lupin. As scruffy as the man had always been, the werewolf had easily charmed the class. This new teacher already had half the girls swooning. Hopefully he wasn't as empty-headed as Lockhart.

"My name is Professor Brone. So far, your generation, though it has been the one that has experienced the most strife, has had the most pathetic defense teachers this century has ever seen. I hope to change that."

Draco ruffled at this, thinking neither Severus nor Lupin anywhere near pathetic. The others, he admitted, weren't exactly what he called acceptable.

"We'll start slow today." Professor Brone continued, "Let's just assess where everyone is. But don't worry, things will not stay boring for long. This class will be one of your hardest this year. I'm here to teach you what you _don't_ already know, to expand your knowledge. I will teach the standards of course, but I also want to help you improve beyond the level you're currently at, no matter how high it is. And many of you are indeed at a high level.

"For example…" He trailed, "Patronuses. Even skilled wizards have a hard time obtaining a full corporeal patronus. Now, let's see… Mr. Potter, if you wouldn't mind? Your patronus, I'm sure is quite miraculous in comparison to others."

Harry frowned, "My magic is no stronger than anyone else's, sir." He said firmly.

The professor smiled, "Ever modest, aren't we? Well, let's try again." The man looked over and Draco knew he'd be called on.

"Ah, Mr. Malfoy. Brave of you to sit in the front row for the first class." Professor Brone smiled. Draco narrowed his eyes. He was sitting right beside Harry.

"I did hear some interesting things in the paper about your trial." Brone continued, "You've apparently got a strong patronus as well. Stand and show it, please."

Draco noticed the professor had not given him the option to refuse like he had for Harry.

He stood with a sigh, Harry looking up at him with an encouraging smile.

"Expecto Patronum." Draco nearly whispered, letting his happy memories flood him.

A bright silvery eagle shrieked as it rocketed from his wand, swooping around the class, leaving silvery wisps in its wake. It landed on Draco's desk, spreading its massive wings once more, in a show of protection before dissipating.

"Very good, Mr. Malfoy. Exactly as the _Daily Prophet _said then. Usually patronuses take form of their caster's personality and happiest memories. I was expecting something a little more… serpentine."

Draco didn't comment, beginning to dislike the professor. He took his seat again and the lesson continued.

Harry leaned over and whispered to him, "That was beautiful, Draco."

Draco smiled feeling himself swell with pride at being able to impress Harry.

Brone then paired everyone up, making teams out of those who could cast a patronus, and those who couldn't. Unfortunately, that meant Draco wouldn't be partnered with Harry. He was instead stuck with a boy named Efrain. The boy had soft, strangely familiar hazel eyes but they were sort of distant and cold as he offered his hand for Draco to shake. The blond took it to be polite.

Efrain was a hard worker and quickly began to make the silver clouds that sprang from his wand thicken and swirl each time he cast the charm. Still his patronus had no clear shape. Sometimes a wizard simply wasn't able to. Patronuses were complicated spell work and there were even otherwise skilled witches and wizards who simply never got the hang of it.

By the end of the period, Efrain's forehead was glistening from the amount of effort he'd put in. Draco could sympathize and tried his best to give helpful advice. Finding his own patronus for the first time had been difficult and he hadn't had a teacher or classmate to encourage him.

Professor Brone assigned some light reading and a short assignment on patronuses. Harry hardly stuck around to see. He was ready to go as was nearly everyone else. Draco followed quickly to catch up.

Harry pulled him aside as soon as they were in the hallway, the other students shuffling lazily by.

"You never told me your patronus was an eagle." Harry whispered excitedly, pressing a kiss to Draco's lips.

Surprised the blond chuckled, "You should've known as much from what Luna said."

"I know." Harry sighed, "But it was different watching you do it. I mean, Brone's right, I wouldn't expect a bird for you."

Draco shrugged, "It's what makes me happy. You know…"

Harry's brow furrowed, "Uh… birds make you happy?"

Draco rolled his eyes and smiled, "It was the happiest thought I could think of at the time." He looked down a little and felt heat rising to his cheeks, "_Freedom_."

Harry was oddly silent for a few long seconds before his warm hands were on either side of Draco's face and they were kissing again. Draco swore Harry had some extra magic power he wasn't aware of. When they kissed, the blond's entire body tingled, from his toes to the tips of his hair. His heart thumped unevenly and his skin warmed.

When the kiss finally broke, Draco continued to kiss down Harry's neck softly, everything inside him singing with joy, "Harry…" he whispered lowly, "Do you think we should go to the tower room."

The man froze up under his fingers and hastily pulled away, his face lighting up with excitement, "It's back?"

Draco raised his eyebrows, "It left?"

Harry gave him a strange look, "Well… yeah. After you left it— I tried to go there and there wasn't a door…"

Draco felt his heart sinking low. A part of him had placed all his hope into that room. That was why he never went to it. He didn't want to have to face it without Harry with him. Last year, he'd had to keep up his reputation more than ever before and if he had to see that room, and all the memories held therein… He would've broken down. It'd stayed a dream, a motivation; the thoughts about finally returning with Harry by his side making him smile and giving him hope even in his lowest moments. To think it didn't exist anymore… that he'd _never_ have it back…

Harry must've seen some of the discontent on Draco's face because he smiled and shook his head, "Maybe it's for both of us, and we both need to be in the school for it to work. Come on, we'll check it out really quick."

Draco nodded. Harry had an open period and Draco had Ancient Runes but honestly, he was so far ahead in that class he could miss half of them and still receive high marks. Professor Babbling wasn't very good at taking attendance anyway.

They left then quickly, unquestioned by anyone else. It wasn't uncommon for older students to have a free period or two. Draco felt nostalgia creeping up on him as they ventured to the part of the castle he hadn't seen since he'd last visited it with Harry. Up the owlery stairs they went, slow and watching the creases in the stone wall as they moved up. They both stopped on the correct stair, without having to count them.

Draco looked into the niche where the thick wooden door used to be. There was nothing but smooth stone. He'd always wondered that no one else had found it. Sure it wasn't in the most obvious place in the world and this particular stairway was usually sort of dark, but it wasn't expertly camouflaged either. It was odd, but now that he thought about, not a single person other than he or Harry seemed to know of its existence. There was never any sign of any other students being there when Harry and Draco were not. He briefly wondered if they'd been the only people to ever see it.

Harry let out a heavy sigh, "I suppose it comes and goes." He muttered.

"We've still got what it showed us." Draco nodded, reassuring himself.

"Each other?" Harry guessed.

Draco pulled the other man into another kiss, unable to resist himself now that they both seemed to be relaxing back into the action. _And_ he was able to do it in public as much as he wanted. Harry grinned and bit a little at Draco's lip making him shiver. In retaliation, Draco slid his hand into Harry's thick black hair and pulled at it slightly. The movements and memories were flooding him with their familiarity.

Harry moaned softly and the sound rocketed through Draco making him feel weak at the knees. Harry pressed closer and Draco found himself stumbling backwards, his back hitting the smooth wall where a door to a small circular paradise once opened.

"H-Harry." He whispered, getting uneasy as the affection progressed. But why, damn it! He wanted this, craved it, _needed it_! Why couldn't he force himself to take it!

Harry shushed him silently, "Not too far." He promised before diving right back into the kiss. Draco lost himself immediately in the swirling movements of Harry's tongue, his eyes closing and his mind emptying.

Draco's entire body felt overheated but still not as hot as Harry's that was pressed fully against him. It felt so good, the pressure and warmth of another person. He felt a heavy hand slide down to his hip but didn't panic, trusting Harry entirely. The hand rubbed slightly moving in a hypnotizing pattern, making Draco crave that same touch in other places.

Guilt started to well in his chest, the flesh memories his body had of torture still fresh, but he forced it away with the absoluteness of the adoration in his heart. Nothing would stand between them. Draco faced a millisecond of fear before tearing open parts of himself he'd hidden in the past year for fear of being hurt. He felt vulnerable again, his heart felt soft and warm again, he felt loved and human again.

The blond doubled the heat of the kiss faster than Harry could follow, making the black haired boy gasp and moan again. Harry was the one getting scared now, his enthusiasm waning. Draco didn't force anything, waiting until Harry made a decision.

"You have class." Harry whispered, eyes still closed, lips still gently kissing Draco's.

"I don't care." Draco responded feeling the way their lips brushed as he spoke.

Harry pulled away anyway, his face flushed and his eyes bright. Despite the bags under his eyes and the faint lines on his face, Harry looked young and carefree, "Not in the middle of a hallway, Draco. We're mature now."

Draco scoffed but admitted to himself in private that their exploits in sixth year had occasionally been immature. But that's what happens when you give two 16 year old boys free time and privacy. He suspected they wouldn't be as borderline violent with animalistic need anymore. At least nowhere near as often; and it hadn't been that often in the first place.

"Go to class." Harry said gently as he relaxed against Draco, holding him loosely.

Draco sighed and kissed the top of Harry's head. He felt the Gryffindor's lips press against his neck, "Doesn't seem like you really want me to."

"I don't…" Harry admitted.

"I won't make a habit of it." Draco promised.

Harry sighed in defeat but his smile showed he was pleased, "What should we do in the meantime?"

Draco ran his fingers through Harry's hair, wary of them getting caught in any tangles, but pulled him into another kiss.

Xx-XxX—xX

Harry sighed as Ron continued talking over lunch about that afternoons Quidditch tryouts. In the year they'd been gone, Harry had lost his captain status. The new captain, a 5th year Harry vaguely knew, had been more than ready to leave the post but Harry had refused. If he was going to be captain, he was going to be voted in by his teammates, not just given the position because he was Harry Potter.

"Ron, okay." Harry said, "We get it. You're a shoe-in for keeper. I could beat Traterson as seeker with my hands tied, and Draco's going down this year."

The blond shrugged, sipping placidly at his pumpkin juice, "He's said it enough times. Though I'll admit I strongly disagree."

Harry shook his head taking another bite of his sandwich, hoping only to ease the churning in his stomach. He was nervous. He hadn't been nervous about Quidditch in a while but he felt he might just be a little out of practice. He'd never gone so many months without Quidditch practice, or even time on a broom. He was excited to get back into the air but nervous to let everyone down.

"Do you mind if I watch your tryouts?" Draco asked Harry quietly. Harry smiled through the lurch of nerves he felt.

"Sure, no problem." He nodded.

Draco smiled and gently patted Harry's leg in reassurance and thanks. Harry caught Draco's hand before it could escape again, intertwining their fingers. Draco's face belied any emotion but he squeezed warmly and Harry smiled privately to himself as he continued to eat, one handed.

By the time the group had actually left for the Quidditch pitch, Harry was feeling much more confident. Even if he failed, what did it matter? He wouldn't really be letting anyone down if he didn't make the team. He knew his friends would understand and sympathize with him, not think less of him.

Having lost his Firebolt, Harry had purchased the new Aeon 300 over the summer. Ron had gushed about the brooms specs for hours on end and Harry bought a matching one for the redhead as a gift. Ron had always been there for him, and Harry never minded splurging for friends. He felt invincible as he mounted his broom and took to the sky, listening to the instructions of the 5th year captain. The boy was young but had distinct leadership qualities. He was likeable, even as he gave orders and Harry found he rather appreciated not having to be in charge. However, he wouldn't turn down being captain if it was offered.

Ginny was trying out as well, despite her general frailty. She was even lighter and faster than ever, twirling through the air with seemingly no effort at all. Harry took a few laps with his teammates, appreciating the chance to loosen and warm up before being tested on his abilities. He watched with baited breath as Ron tried out to be keeper. But the man was actually damn well suited to it and his competition, a 6th year, was obviously intimidated. The other boy seemed good enough but made a lot of mistakes. The more the other keeper tryouts messed up, the more confident Ron became, his moves becoming progressively better.

Wortruckle, the current Gryffindor captain called an end to keeper try outs and then did chasers and beaters. Seekers were last, as always. Harry faced off against last year's seeker, Traterson who stared at him with wide reverent eyes. There were two other who had showed up to try out for the position but both had withdrawn when they saw Harry intended to compete.

The captain let go of the practice snitch. It was worn to a brassy color rather than shiny silver and gold. And had a tendency to make sudden and unpredictable drops to the ground as the magic binding it loosened. As soon as it was out of the other boy's hand, Harry was off, Traterson a mirage behind him within seconds.

By the time dinner rolled around, Harry was more than ecstatic. He was a seeker again. The team had whispers about him being captain but no one had said anything outright yet. Ron of course assured him it was merely a matter of time before Harry was captain once more.

"Come with us to my room to celebrate!" The redhead insisted, "Of course, Malfoy can come too."

Draco who'd been trailing the large group of Gryffindors as silent as a shadow, smiled briefly when people turned to look at him, "Why thank you, Ron. Nice to know I'm welcome."

The tone of his voice sounded plenty sarcastic but Harry was surprised again by the Slytherin calling Ron by his first name. He'd noticed Draco calling all of his friends by their first names and made a mental note to ask about it later.

Harry agreed to a bit of time spent with his friends. He was of course, anxious for more alone time with Draco. Most of it was spent kissing and slowly easing down the walls that tried to keep them apart. But he remembered clearly how entirely absorbed in Draco he'd become last year. To the point that he'd begun neglecting other friendships. He was determined not to let that happen this year.

Ron's room, on the 5th floor was equally as big as Harry's and quickly filled with classmates. They no longer had a common room to just hang out so Harry suspected these kinds of parties would become more common as the year progressed. Hermione hugged and congratulated him, along with other's he'd hardly had a chance to speak to. He found himself nearly missing the fraternity of sharing a room with his housemates. Still, it was better to have his own room for the first time in his life. A room that was _truly_ all his own. Where the windows weren't barred and the locks were on the _inside_.

They toasted butterbeer and everyone was talking and laughing.

"So when are your tryouts, Malfoy?" Ron asked casually.

The blond looked relaxed but Harry could see the subtle tenseness in his shoulders, "I don't know," Draco shrugged.

"What? Come on!" Ron said, "You gotta make the team this year! Gryffindor's gonna kick your ass."

Draco smiled a little and simply said, "Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not trying out."

Harry choked on the butterbeer he'd been sipping, "_What_?" He asked.

Draco looked a little less certain as he repeated the words, this time facing Harry, "I'm not trying out…"

"But—But! Why?" Harry asked urgently. Draco _loved_ Quidditch. Harry knew that…

"Just doesn't seem right this year…" Draco nodded as though his mind was already thoroughly made up.

Harry was saddened. He was so used to playing against Draco, he'd never even considered that the idea that he might not get to. Plus the blond was magnificent in the air. It was nearly a crime for him not to play. Harry tried to be understanding, and let it go, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't disappointed.

Ron and a couple other Gryffindors obviously thought the same and were much more vocal about it. It almost surprised Harry how much Ron seemed concerned about it. But then the man had always taken great pleasure in beating Draco at anything.

They hung out for a little while longer, but eventually the party dwindled. Ron was pressing Hermione for a more _enthusiastic_ congratulations on his making the team and everyone else seemed to realize it was time to go.

On the walk back to Harry's room, Harry slipped his hand into the blond's and whispered, "You'll still play Seeker's games with me, right?"

Draco chuckled, "Sure."

"Why aren't you trying out?" Harry asked, watching Draco's profile as they walked, "_Really_?"

The blond sighed, "I wouldn't make the team, Harry."

Confused Harry stopped walking, "Are you kidding? I mean… I was nervous too but you're a great seeker."

"Not quite good enough to beat you." Draco said with amusement only barely concealing the bitterness in his voice.

"You've gotten the snitch once or twice from Gryffindor…" Harry trailed.

Draco sighed, "It's not about that. I wouldn't make the team is I was the greatest seeker of the century."

"I don't—"

"I'm a Death Eater, Harry."

"_Were_." Harry hissed urgently, hating that Draco still seemed to think himself one of them, "You _were_ a Death Eater. And you were a spy!"

"You really think anyone but you sees that?" Draco asked.

Harry spluttered a little, starting to get frustrated, "Of course, the teachers understand and my friends haven't been saying anything rude have they?"

"No, Harry… The same as your friends still see you as you and not some demi-god. But the rest of the school? The rest of the _world?_ And why the hell are we talking about this in the hallway?" Draco asked suddenly realizing where they were. He started walking again and Harry followed.

"You still shouldn't be so… pessimistic. You don't know you won't make it unless you try."

Draco smiled, "Sometimes I think you should be less _optimistic_." He stopped again and looked at Harry directly, "Don't worry about this."

Harry sighed, realizing he'd lost. He wasn't going to convince Draco to do anything he didn't want to. Though the blond was equally as competitive as Harry and probably wanted very badly to play Quidditch, his ego would not be able to handle the embarrassment of being refused for a team he'd once been captain of. Maybe Draco knew the Slytherins better than Harry did. Even if he didn't… Harry would have to just let this go. It was Draco's decision.

"Alright…" He whispered.

They ended the small argument with a quick kiss. They kissed often as it seemed to be the perfect punctuation to any interaction, whether sweet or sour. It always ended well with a kiss.

They went back to Harry's bedroom as they'd been doing for the last week or so. They hadn't revisited Draco's room since they went to go get his trunk. Once inside, Harry spotted his immensely comfortable couch and was unable to resist its call even though the bedroom was less than twenty steps further. He threw himself down on the couch and just relaxed.

"Graceful there, aren't you Potter?" Draco deadpanned as he shoved Harry's feet off the cushions and sat down beside him.

"Shut up," was Harry's pitiful comeback, "It's not like I've anyone to impress."

Draco crossed his arms, "Oh, you think you've won me already, do you? That you don't have to keep being charming because I'll just stay with you?"

Harry smiled, rolling his eyes.

"And don't you roll your eyes either." Draco scolded sounding an awful lot like a nagging wife, not that Harry had the balls to tell him so. But the train of thought made him blurt out a question far too serious for the current mood.

"Do you want to get married?" Harry asked.

Draco froze, his almost smile falling in slow motion, "Where'd that come from?" He asked.

Harry shrugged and averted his eyes, picking nervously at imaginary lint on the couch, "Just a random thought." He said attempting nonchalance.

Draco shrugged as well, "My family would have it no other way, of course. But then, in this case there'd be no heir. Their likely advice would be to marry a woman and if I could not get rid of you keep you as a mistress." Draco chuckled a bit and glanced at Harry as though having a hard time thinking of him as a 'mistress'.

Harry frowned, "I didn't ask what your family wanted. Plus, your 'family' is just you now anyway."

That seemed to be the wrong thing to say because what was left of Draco's good humor drained away faster than if Dementors had walked in to the room. The blond turned away robotically and stood up from the couch. Harry sat up, feeling bad.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean—"

Draco's curt nod cut him off, "I understand," he whispered. Harry could see that Draco struggled as he finally looked at Harry once more and attempted a smile.

"I'm not sure," He said, "Marriage is a serious thing. We'll talk about it more another time maybe." Draco's voice, though it didn't crack became quieter and quieter, almost fading away.

Harry stood, not willing to watch his boyfriend's obvious unhappiness. He pulled the blond into his arms and though Draco briefly resisted, he eventually eased into the motion and held Harry tight.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked, "I know your family isn't the best topic in the world but…"

"It's nothing." Draco assured softly, again trying to pull out of Harry's hug but the Gryffindor refused, hanging on tightly.

"Come on, honesty, remember? You can talk to me…" Harry reminded softly nuzzling Draco's neck, and privately relieved to find no other smell than Draco's expensive cologne.

Draco relaxed again, weak against Harry's touch and sighed, "I know that. We will— _I_ will tell you everything just… In time."

"Now's as good a time as any," Harry argued, "Please, Draco. Don't go to sleep brooding over this."

Harry felt his hair ruffled and knew Draco had likely kissed the top of his head. The blond released him and this time Harry let him back away, sensing that he'd convinced Draco to talk about what was bothering him.

"Okay." He whispered, then looked down and frowned slightly, "I don't know how to explain it."

Harry found himself absently rubbing Draco's arm, even through his thick robes, "Try?"

"I suppose… It's lonely, being the only Malfoy." Draco admitted, "And my parents… neither of them exactly… left the world peaceably."

Draco stepped away from Harry, lost in thought, "I saw my father die you know," He whispered.

Harry hadn't been aware that was an issue as he'd known Draco always disliked his father. But maybe things had changed. He stayed quiet, not wanting to accidentally say the wrong thing.

"I just can't understand _why?_" Draco hissed in frustration, "I'd been nothing but insufferable to him from the moment we saw each other. But he— I just c-can't…"

Harry was caught off guard by the hitch in Draco's voice and warred with himself over whether he should approach him again with more hugs or let him speak without interruptions.

Draco's eyes flicked back to him and Harry noticed they seemed slightly red, "I'm sorry," The blond whispered, "I know I'm not making much sense. Please let's just… Go to bed. I'm exhausted."

"You'll tell me more about this?" Harry asked.

Draco sighed, "I just haven't come to terms with it yet… It makes you reevaluate things, you know. When someone you thought hated you dies for you."

Harry nodded in slight understanding though he knew he had no idea what Draco must be feeling. He imagined it'd be the same as if Mr. Dursley had jumped in front of a bullet for him, of his own volition. Choosing to die just for Harry with no ulterior motive. Imagining it was so comical Harry nearly chuckled. But he could imagine how much it would throw his world off balance if such a thing _were_ to happen. No wonder Draco was at a loss.

Draco really did look exhausted so they went to their room, both silent as they readied for bed. Draco was silent because he was still obviously wrapped up in his own thoughts and Harry was silent out of respect. He didn't mind the quiet so much and Draco certainly looked as though he needed it.

At first they lay in bed separately, Draco staring up at the ceiling and Harry struggling not to nod off, wanting to make sure the other man was okay first.

Harry reached out tentatively to touch a hand to Draco's bare shoulder and was surprised when Draco seemed to latch onto it like a life line. In seconds Harry found himself held securely in Draco's arms and he returned the hug.

"I know…" Harry whispered, even though he suspected he truly didn't, "I'm here. Relax, love."

"Why'd he do it?" Draco asked his voice betraying his emotion in a way his face rarely did, "He saved me… I wouldn't be here right now if… God, I can't imagine what would've happened if I'd died. You would…"

Harry's heart sank a little, imagining a world in which Draco had died the day of the final battle.

"I wouldn't have made it through the summer." He muttered more to himself than to Draco, and tightened his hold on the blond.

What Harry knew of those minutes while he was pretending to be dead was quite limited. He could still hear most things clearly but there was a lot going on and his own emotions had been running high. He didn't remember everything. He vaguely recalled Voldemort calling someone a traitor and then the killing curse. He assumed that must've been what saved Draco as it was the only killing curse he heard in that short five minutes. And after that, he'd seen Draco, stony faced and murderous with only Astoria by his side.

"I regret not talking to him more…" Draco continued, "Maybe… maybe I was just blinded. Maybe all this time there was a method to his madness. I hated him so much and I didn't take the time to…"

Harry ran his fingers through Draco's silken hair, "I know how easy it is to regret." He whispered in response, "But you can't let this keep you down. His reasons will probably always be a mystery but you're here, and he apparently wanted that. Whatever was between you and your father, he didn't care about it more than your life."

Draco whimpered softly sounding a lot like a sullen puppy, "I know I should get over it…"

"Everyone needs time to heal." Harry said firmly, remembering dearly how often he tried to bury his hurts over the deaths of friends. It never really worked, "I just don't want to see this haunt you. What's in the past just is, I know it hurts to come to terms with it but… Maybe you'll see your father in another life and get to talk to him then."

Draco looked up, his eyes shining palely in the darkness of their room, "What's it like to die?" he whispered.

Harry smiled and kissed Draco's forehead, "Painless."

* * *

><p>This chapter was meant to be longer, but I realized it was over 15 pages already and I didn't want to make you guys wait any longer. I hope you enjoyed it. Leave me a review about anything if you want. Have you seen the new review button? Look how shiny, you can't help but press it right?<p>

….right?


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N:** I super want to apologize for how long this took. I was looking for summer work a lot of the time and had an insane case of writers block the rest. Most of this chapter has been done but it wasn't long enough and I knew I needed things in the plot I just couldn't figure out what to do first.

Now for the sake of actually giving you guys a _sequel_ rather than a sweet little epilogue, this story will have a conflict. I hope it doesn't get too angsty and I swear it will have a happy ending.

You guys rock my socks. Thank you for the lovely reviews and encouragement. I don't find the time to reply to you, I sincerely apologize. But send me an email or something if you really want a response.

Enjoy your chapter!

.

.

**A/N** **update: **I'm sorry, I was so excited I had to share this. This doesn't have anything to do with the plot of Impact it's just my ramblings so skip to the chappie if you'd like. Anyway, since I was here posting and all that jazz, I checked my messages (that fanfic is suppose to email me about but rarely does -_-) and in a message someone commented that my story as been rec'd. Me = Shock! Where?

So I exercised my Googler to find out and I just _can't_ believe it! I mean... I knew I had a pretty nice amount of reviews but it was just so exciting to see my random little story on a list with other stories that absolutely love! I am bouncing with happiness, like you have no idea. I don't know the people who rec'd me in different places but you rock more than my socks. I'm gonna go keep writing now, to make everyone happy.

.

.

* * *

><p>Chapter 6<p>

* * *

><p>Draco woke up every morning with a smile on his face, no matter what terrors haunted his dreams. Every morning that he opened his eyes, he gradually began to realize faster and faster that he was with Harry and they were both safe. The recognition of those bliss inducing facts was so quick these last few days it was like he'd known it even before he awoke.<p>

The depression that'd been hanging heavy over him like a shroud was lifting. There were times when people, usually Harry or Astoria could force the dark feelings back, but they always returned. Now he felt they were leaving for good and it was liberating. Despite the fact that the world at large seemed to want him dead.

He supposed people were beginning to realize what he and Harry shared was not a fling and they were enraged. How could their hero settle with a man, and a Death Eater to boot?

_A _prior _Death Eater_. Harry's disembodied voice scolded Draco from inside his own mind. He scowled slightly. You know your partner has utter control over your heart when you scold yourself for them.

He smiled right afterwards though, knowing that if there were anyone he wanted to have utter control over his heart, it was Harry.

"Something to share, Mr. Malfoy?" Professor Brone asked.

A few people who'd been taking avid notes or staring dreamily at the young teacher were just as startled by the interjection as Draco was.

Harry nudged him gently with his knee to snap him out of it and Draco cleared his throat, "No, nothing, sir."

"Oh, I'd hope so. But perhaps you can tell me why the Cruciatus curse refused to work for Sir Beddledug the Boorish?"

Draco scoured his mind for the obscure magical history fact. He was almost 90% sure that information wasn't even covered in this course and that Brone simply wanted to shame him in front of his classmates.

"I don't know, sir," Draco said his voice soft but cold and biting like a harsh winter wind.

"Oh, you don't?" He asked sarcastically, his soft brown eyes taking on a malicious sort of glimmer, "Five points from Slytherin for inadequate study habits. Does anyone else know?" He asked looking around the room.

Many sets of eyes slid over to Hermione, but the bushy haired girl was blushing and pretending to be absorbed in her textbook. Even _she_ didn't know.

"Well then…" Professor Brone said with a sad sigh, "Maybe that question was a little too far on the fringes of Defense Against. The answer, in case any of you are wondering, is that one cannot perform the Cruciatus curse on oneself. The other two unforgiveables have some rather wicked side-effects whenever a witch or wizard is foolhardy enough to attempt them on themselves, but the Cruciatus is entirely ineffective. It's the subconscious of the person that refuses to let the magic work. There is always a small part in each of us that wants to avoid pain. …Though maybe a few of us deserve it."

The last sentence was muttered so low Draco barely caught it but he was sure he'd caught the man's eyes glancing over at him while he said it. It made him bristle in anger. He turned to look at Harry to see the Gryffindor's reaction but the boy seemed distracted, doodling in his notebook with a faraway look in his eyes.

Draco sighed. No one else in the class seemed to notice and a haughty part of him demanded he stand up and criticize the teacher for his strange behavior. But in the past he would've used the weight of the Malfoy name to scare people into acting how he wanted them to. Now he didn't have that, so what would he say? And who would side with him?

Draco frowned and sank down into his seat.

Xx-XxX-xX

Draco was sitting in an armchair in front of the fire in Harry's room, frowning hard down at a little piece of paper in his hands. He skimmed it once more, his frown deepening further. But his eyes flicked up hurriedly when he heard someone at the door. His hand crushed the letter into a crumpled ball and he shoved it in his pocket.

Harry was coming in from Quidditch practice. But he was late, still wearing his Quidditch robes and soaking wet from head to toe. He was shivering, the tip of his nose pink, the tips of his fingers blue.

"Hey," Harry said absently, dropping his bag and standing his broom in the corner, "Somebody charmed the showers to only spray glitter and we couldn't figure out how to fix it," He explained.

Now that he mentioned it, Draco could see a few errant sparkles on Harry's face and in his hair. Draco only nodded, not realizing the frown was still on his face.

Harry noticed though and his tired eyes focused on Draco for the first time since he'd walked in, "What's got you looking like a cat dropped in an ice bath?" He asked, already beginning to untie parts of his uniform.

Draco considered lying. It was a reflex, and a strong one that he couldn't always overcome. The same as why he'd hidden the small note, even knowing he had nothing to hide. But he remembered the way Harry's eyes would harden and become as stones when he was suspicious; sharp and cutting. Draco never wanted to do anything worthy of suspicion. So he took a deep breath and forced the truth out.

"I received a note." He said, "I found it slipped into my Arithmancy book."

Harry had already dropped his heavy, waterlogged Quidditch robes to the ground and was taking a few steps towards the bedroom, and presumably, the shower. He stopped when he heard what Draco said and registered the tone of his voice. He turned around, nearly naked and shivering.

"Who was it from?"

Draco shook his head, intending to tell him not but not wanting to delay Harry's shower, "Go take a shower and warm up."

"Draco…" Harry started in a warning tone, averse to anything being hidden. Draco knew why and Harry was entitled to it. Hell, Harry was likely entitled to hating Draco for the rest of his life. But he didn't, he'd chosen not to and instead to find a way to make this work. A little rational fear of lies from a tried and true liar was only normal.

"I'll tell you." Draco promised, "But go warm up first."

Harry's mouth twisted in indecision before he nodded and went into the bedroom. Draco relaxed in the arm chair, staring wistfully into the fire and trying not to feel the weight of the note in his pocket. After a moment Draco flicked his wand and set Harry's wet robes into the laundry bin. Draco nearly laughed at himself after he'd done it, knowing a younger version of himself would've balked and claimed such a task suitable only for a house elf. But he loved Harry and knew the boy rarely made messes. What was one little flick of his wand, anyway? He didn't feel any less of a man for it. Though surely his father would've sa—

Draco cut off his train of thought abruptly and the raw energy of ignoring something so large went through his body. He nearly stood up to start pacing but forced himself to sit back down. His hands clenched and unclenched for a few moments before the moment passed and he relaxed again.

_Well that was different…_

Before Draco could ponder what he'd just done, Harry walked back into the living room, his skin shiny with dampness but steaming slightly from the hot water. He wore only a pair of pajama bottoms.

"I'm warm." He stated, "Now who's that note from."

Draco smiled a little and stood to walk towards him and kiss his now pleasantly warm pink cheeks. His nose and fingers were their rightful colors again.

"I didn't mean to worry you. Truly, it's not that serious." Draco said honestly.

Harry eyed him warily before a smile crept up on his lips, "Why didn't you say that in the first place? I could've spent longer in the shower."

Draco laughed, but pulled Harry over to the sofa and sat down beside him, "It was from Blaise."

Harry's eyebrows rose, "You're talking again?"

"Not exactly," Draco replied, "This is the first contact we've had since before the final battle."

"Well…" Harry looked away, "I mean… Your business if yours Draco, I won't force you to disclose everything to me but… umm… What's it say? If you want to tell me."

Draco smiled again and snuck in another quick peck to Harry's cheek, "It only said he wished to talk to me, maybe rekindle our old friendship. I'm sure he's quite lonely…"

"All of the 8th year Slytherins likely are. I bet there rooms are the same as yours, small and bare and none of them are close to each other. That's how your treat an enemy. Keep them divided and weak," Harry spat this out with the greatest disdain, obviously unhappy with the idea that anyone was being treated this way after the war was over.

He looked tired again, that creeping emotional and physical exhaustion that would slowly take over his expression every now and then. Draco pulled Harry to lie down and placed his head in his own lap. Immediately, Draco's hand went to Harry's hair, stroking and gently combing through it with his fingers, careful not to let them get too tangled. Harry made a sound very a near a purr before asking, "What else did it say?"

"Well…" Draco started slowly wondering how best to say this. Certainly he couldn't use the more _colorful_ language Blaise had chosen, "He also ridiculed my relationship with you," Draco continued, "No doubt he's jealous. I have an in to the good side, a way to escape some of the hardships he and the others are surely facing. And even though he was one of my best friends, I haven't shared it with him."

Harry made an affirmative humming sound as his eyes slowly eased closed, "Are you going to talk to him?"

Draco sighed heavily, "I haven't decided yet."

Harry nodded weakly, obviously well on his way to sleep and Draco only smiled down at him and continued stroking his hair. He sat there for a while, content to watch as Harry's face went slack in slumber. His soft lips parting, the creases between his brows and on his forehead all but disappearing. It was beautiful to watch, truly.

Every few minutes, Draco would remind himself they needed to move to the bed but each time he attempted it, Harry would begin to frown and cling to him. And Draco assured himself they'd only stay on the sofa a few minutes longer. Surely the next time he tried to move Harry would be too deeply asleep to react so adorably.

Draco closed his eyes, telling himself he was only resting them, his hand still lazily stroking Harry's dark hair…

..

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

..

Draco's eyes opened slowly. It was late, far later than when he claimed he was only resting his eyes. The sky outside the windows was a dark inky black rather than the soft midnight blue it'd been before. He stretched slightly and sighed, knowing he'd have a back ache tomorrow from sleeping this way. But his hand was already back in Harry's hair, softly stroking and he knew it was worth it.

The smile that was curling his lips stopped. There was unease in the pit of his stomach and a quiet little alarm bell going off in the back of his mind. Something was wrong.

Only now did he bother to wonder what had woken him up in the first place.

The sleepy haze he'd been in was damnably slow in lifting. But his eyes looked around the room and found nothing. The unease in his stomach was growing to a more intense discomfort by the minute.

He looked down, ready to wake Harry but he stopped when he saw his sleeping face. His features we're entirely lax just like before. Eyes closed, the lines of his face gone, his lips slightly parted, but there was something different. Something very _wrong._

Draco felt as though his heart had stopped in his chest when he realized what it was.

Harry wasn't breathing.

Panicked, Draco's hands went to Harry's shoulder to shake him awake, tears already in his eyes as his mind reminded him that dead people don't wake up. But before he could even grab him Harry shot up like a bullet, gasping in air and shocking Draco so much he recoiled.

Harry held out a hand and his wand flew into it at lightning speed. Draco's eyes widened a little at the show of nonverbal, wandless magic.

"Come out!" Harry shouted, "Don't you fucking hide from me!"

Draco voice quavered as he whispered, "Harry…"

Fierce emerald eyes turned to him and Harry said in a hurried voice, "Get your wand and send a Patronus to wake up McGonagall."

Draco stood, the muscles of his thighs shivering, not in weak but wired on the adrenaline coursing through his veins. He knew, of course, after so long in a war that you don't ask questions at moments like these. You obey to save your fucking life and figure out what happened later.

Draco cursed himself mentally for sitting his wand on the bedside table earlier. He usually slept with it right next to him but of course, on this night they'd slept on the sofa so...

Before he could take more than three steps towards the bedroom, his wand came whizzing out the door and went straight into Harry's free hand. He tossed it at Draco and he caught it easily, not even bothering with thanks in his haste to cast a Patronus.

The silver eagle flew out of his wand and waited patiently, its head slightly cocked to the side while Draco said, "Harry Potter is in trouble. 4th floor, east wing, portrait of the girl in the yellow dress."

The eagle gave what looked to be a short little nod before it flew away through the wall.

Draco had his wand ready as well and now asked Harry in a hurried whisper, "What is it? What's happened?"

"He was here." Harry said absently, "He was right fucking here… How did he get in?"

"Harry?" Draco asked turning to look at him. The man was tense, his eyes flicking everywhere but never settling, his wand arm steady.

"How is he back…? How the fuck did—" Harry cut himself off with an enraged scream before shouting, "Show yourself!"

Draco's wand lowered a little and he began to question whether the problem was external or internal. After all, he'd been awake before Harry and hadn't seen anyone.

"Harry." Draco said in a loud, firm voice. The Gryffindor whipped around, his wand still steady in front of him.

"Draco." Harry sighed, "You have to go. You need to get out of here."

"I'm not leaving you alone." Draco intoned taking a few steps forward, "Now tell me, who did you see?"

"Voldemort." Harry said thoughtlessly and Draco flinched, "Sorry. You-Know-Who."

It wasn't that Draco was so much afraid of the name as much as he associated verbalizing it with pain and possible death. He could think it but saying it was too much still.

Draco's eyes move around the room cautiously. The door was still secure. They hadn't heard anything from Lisa. Nothing in the room had been disturbed.

"You have to go, Draco. He was trying to kill you."

Draco's brows shot up, "_Me?_ Why would he want to kill me?"

"Because he'd fucking evil!" Harry shouted, "Go! Meet McGonagall halfway."

Draco shook his head, "Harry… When did you see him?"

Harry sighed, anger and impatience beginning to show on his face, "It doesn't matter, Draco. Please. Listen to me."

Part of Draco wanted to just do what Harry said. To just trust that Harry knew what he was taking about. But the unease in Draco's stomach was not due to fear of the Dark Lord, but rather fear for Harry's mental health.

"He's gone right now." Draco said slowly, "You have time to tell me when you saw him."

"I was laying right there!" Harry said, "You woke up, I heard you but I couldn't move and you weren't looking at me. My eyes were open but I—I couldn't. He was in that corner, right there, just watching us. I knew he was going to kill you, not _me_, you! I've been in his head before; I know what he's thinking!"

Draco felt something like dread and pity and hated himself for feeling it, "Harry…" He started, "I looked at you. Your eyes were closed."

Harry's brow furrowed for a moment and he shook his head slowly.

The door slammed open revealing McGonagall with robes thrown over a nightgown, her wand held tightly in her hand. Professor Flitwick was right behind her and there were more footsteps coming down the hall.

"Harry," The headmistress said, her eyes not even flicking to Draco in a passing glance, "What's going on here?"

Harry looked at Draco and then back at McGonagall. He no longer seemed so sure about what he'd seen. But he told her anyway.

McGonagall looked around the room just as Draco had and saw that there were no signs of anything knocked over or broken. Neither Draco nor Harry were injured or even ruffled beyond being slightly disheveled from sleep.

There came a soft yawn from the doorway and everyone turned to look. Lisa was peeking form the edge of her frame, "Why's everyone up? Harry, what's happened?"

Harry stepped forward, apparently unconscious of the fact that he was still shirtless walked out of the doorway and Draco followed. Lisa's brown skin reddened at her cheeks when her soft dark eyes saw Harry.

"Lisa," Harry said, "Did you see anyone before the Headmistress? Did anyone open, or try to open the door?"

Lisa blinked owlishly before shaking her head, "You were the last, when you came back dripping wet. No one's even walked by since then. Well… actually, Sir Nicholas floated by and wished me a good evening."

Harry's eyes fell and he turned to look at Draco before looking at McGonagall, "I saw him." He whispered, "I swear."

The stern looking woman's face softened a little and she tucked her wand into her robes, "I think a trip to Madame Pomfrey might be in order, Mr. Potter." McGonagall said in a low voice.

Professors Sprout and Slughorn had just now reached the corridor but they seemed to take in the morose atmosphere and stayed silent.

Harry's face paled and his eyes started to shine with wetness. He looked back to Draco for help but the blond could do nothing more than take Harry's hand and squeeze it in comfort.

McGonagall raised an eyebrow at Draco, obviously not expecting him to follow along, but Harry clung tightly to him and no one had the heart to try and separate them. Draco raised his wand to summon one of Harry's cloaks and placed it over his shoulders.

Lisa closed firmly over the entrance to Harry's room and promised to tell if she saw anyone as they set off down the hallway. Professors Flitwick, Sprout and Slughorn all left back to their private quarters on McGonagall's orders. But she stayed to lead the two teenaged boys to the hospital wing.

When they entered, Pomfrey was already up and tending to a few sleeping students.

"Headmistress." She greeted politely before her eyes fixed on Harry and Draco. Her mouth thinned and she gave a tense smile.

"I thought I said I didn't want to see you in the infirmary this year, Mr. Potter." The Mediwitch whispered. Harry forced a smile in return and went to go and sit on a bed. It was the bed Draco had seen him in a few times, whenever they'd both been injured from a fight. Was Harry here so often he had his own bed?

Pomfrey came over wordlessly and began waving her wand over him, mumbling spells under her breath. She didn't look at Draco, but she didn't try to remove him either.

"Well, Harry, it seems you're fine besides being a little down in spirits. What seems to be the problem?"

Harry's eyes flicked to the sleeping bodies of the children in the cots. Madame Pomfrey nodded understandingly and conjured partitions around the bed enclosing the four of them. Draco had been here often enough as well to know they cancelled noise.

Harry sighed and shook his head once before recounting the story for her but in far more detail than he had for either Draco or McGonagall, "I was sleeping with Draco, on the sofa. He was sitting up and my… head was in his lap. We'd fallen asleep like that by accident I think. I can't really remember. I wasn't feeling well since I'd been out in the rain for Quidditch practice and thought maybe I was going to catch a cold.

"I felt Draco wake up. He stretched a little and sighed before he started stroking my hair. I opened my eyes to tell him something but his head was still against the back of the couch. He wasn't looking at me. When I tried to move it was like…Someone threw a wet blanket over me. Not the body-binding hex, something different. I couldn't move other than to look around and blink. Voldemort was standing in the corner," Harry continued, he either ignored or didn't notice Draco's slight flinch.

"He was twirling Dumbledore's wand and staring at us. I knew he'd kill Draco. It wasn't exactly Legilimency but I _knew_ it. Then Draco was looking down at me but it was like he didn't see me at all. I was trying so hard to move and when he reached out to touch me I was finally able to. I summoned my wand but he—Voldemort was gone."

Madame Pomfrey looked at Draco now as though expecting corroboration. Draco looked back at Harry.

"That's startlingly accurate." Draco whispered, shocked that Harry has picked up so much. He must've honestly been awake to remember Draco stretching and sighing.

Madame Pomfrey nodded and opened her mouth to ask Harry something else but Draco interrupted, "But it's not all correct."

All three of them looked at him now, "I did wake up. I stretched, I sighed but when I looked down at Harry, his eyes were closed. I was awoken by uneasiness. I felt something was wrong but for a few minutes I couldn't pinpoint what it was. I realized very suddenly that I woke up because he wasn't breathing. I must've realized in my sleep that I was no longer feeling or hearing him breathe."

Pomfrey's eyes widened a little and she put her hand to her mouth. The fear on Harry's face seemed to intensify.

"I wasn't breathing...?" He whispered in shock.

Draco's face nearly collapsed in worry and he squeezed Harry's hand again, "No. That's why I was so worried. But when you told me to send a Patronus… Emergencies aren't the time for second thoughts."

Harry nodded and looked at Madame Pomfrey the tears in his eyes now caught on long dark lashes, ready to fall, "I'm losing my mind, aren't I?" He asked

The witch smiled a little and shook her head, "No Mr. Potter. I don't think so. I think I know exactly what you're suffering from but I haven't seen a case of it this bad in some time."

"What is it?" McGonagall asked. Those were the first words she'd spoken since we'd reached the hospital wing.

"Sleep paralysis," Madame Pomfrey said softly, "It's less common than sleep walking but similar to it. A normal body does not allow for a person to move too much during sleep. When someone sleepwalks, their body is unable to keep them from moving and acting out dreams. Sleep paralysis is when the body is overzealous in stopping movement even in those first few moments after a person awakes. It is usually accompanied by rather terrifying half dreams that are a mixture of what the mind creates from fantasy and picks up from reality."

"Awake enough to know what Draco was doing but asleep enough to dream up Voldemort?" Harry questioned looking relieved.

Madame Pomfrey smiled, "Yes. It has nothing to do with insanity at all and more to do with stress. But that your body apparently is prone to it, and so badly you stop breathing is worrying."

Draco nodded emphatically, feeling the sick terror of realizing Harry wasn't breathing all over again. It had been agonizing in a way he hadn't felt since the final battle.

"What can I do about it?" Harry asked.

Pomfrey frowned, "I'm afraid there isn't much to do about it at all. The only magical means of fixing it is a potion that must be taken before one goes to sleep. But much like sleepwalking, sleep paralysis does not occur every night and may even go in remiss for years. Unlike the potion that stops sleepwalking, the potion you would have to take is not only very expensive but also harmful if taken over long periods of time. If after a few months it seems to be a regular occurrence, maybe then we can—"

"You mean wait for it to happen again." Harry interrupted, "Wait for this to happen again, and often, before we try to fix it."

"Harry…" Draco started.

Harry shook his head, "It's always like this. Another thing for me to suffer through that no one can fucking fix."

"I'll watch you." Draco said, "I'll watch you and wake you up."

Harry glanced at him, "And then when will you sleep?"

Draco opened his mouth and closed it again.

"I am sorry, Mr. Potter…Harry." Madame Pomfrey said reaching out to touch his shoulder, "We all have our crosses to bear and yours just happens to be the heaviest of the century. Please though, you're welcome in my ward anytime for calming draughts. However dreamless sleep would likely make the problem far worse rather than better."

"And what if we took the relaxing agent out?" Draco asked, "Maybe it'd be possible to brew it with only the dream suppressant and not the muscle relaxer."

"I'm sure you know as well as I do, that would change the very foundation of the potion and possibly make it dangerous if not lethal to ingest. The dream suppressant requires large amounts of dragon's blood _and_ hellebore which would be dangerous if not _fatal_ without the balancing of lavender and asphodel which combined are—"

"A potent muscle relaxer, I know." Draco finished looking put out.

Harry forced a watery smile, "It's alright, Draco. I'll be alright. I just…I'm tired. Please can we go back to our room, now?"

Both of the elder women looked worried but had no reason to stop Harry from going back to sleep if there was no cure for this ailment. McGonagall offered to escort them once more but Harry refused with a stout promise that they would return straight to their room. It wasn't like Harry would've faked this in an effort to go out after curfew and cause mischief.

So Draco and he walked alone down the dark corridors, occasionally greeted by a surprised and sleepy painting. Lisa was dozing underneath her apple tree when they returned but she bolted upright immediately, straightening her dress and pushing her chestnut curls back from where the bounced merrily around her face.

"Harry!" She said, "What happened? Everything's alright, right? No one came by, not that I'd let them in if they did! How about we change the password to something _really_, extra hard?"

Harry's smile wasn't so forced this time but it was still not exactly a happy one, "Tomorrow, Lisa. I think we'll be safe for tonight. Thank you though."

The girl pouted a little but nodded, smoothing her dress behind her as sat down under the tree again, "Okay then… Goodnight."

They both wished the girl good night and the portrait swung open. Harry walked in, his face still tight. His eyes looked once into the corner that he'd seen Voldemort in, then to the sofa where they'd lain.

He sighed and turned away, heading to the bedroom. Draco was careful with Harry, being gentle with him and offering himself for whatever comfort Harry needed. Whether Harry needed a shoulder to cry on, ears to listen, lips to kiss or a body to hold, Draco would be that. Whatever Harry needed, Draco would become. It was not something he usually did, but anything that helped Harry was what he wanted to do.

The dark haired savior stayed up late into the night. Draco drifted a few times but unease awoke him again and again. This time it was only because Harry was not sleeping. Draco feared the man might not sleep at all tonight, and maybe even subsequent nights for fear of more nightmares coming to him in reality while he couldn't move. Draco himself couldn't imagine a type of dream more terrifying. To dream of heinous, _awful_ things is terrible of course, but to be awake, to _know_ you're awake and be unable to move, while your nightmares seemingly take over reality is something entirely different. Far out of the league of normal bad dreams. And Harry's bad dreams had already been worse than normal…

Draco nudged Harry's shoulder, but the Gryffindor continued pretending he was asleep, obviously hoping Draco would give up and fall back into slumber as well.

"You can't stay awake forever." Draco whispered.

Harry's eyes opened, the tiniest bit, a sliver of emerald behind dark lashes, "I have a habit of defying the odds." He whispered back.

Draco frowned and sighed huffily, fluffing his pillow once and turning away from Harry. He felt the other man tensing behind him, afraid to lose Draco's warm hold. Draco though, was weak. When Harry's arms snaked around him, he gave in and turned back to face his love. He kissed him and pulled him close, already planning how to alter Dreamless Sleep…

Xx-XxX-xX

"Checkmate again, Malfoy," Ron said triumphantly, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms.

Harry watched as the scowl on Draco's face deepened, "Another," He snapped, already resetting the pieces.

"No problem," Ron grinned, obviously happy to be winning, "A little failure might be good for that big head of yours."

"You're one to talk," Hermione quipped from where she was writing her 4th draft of their Transfigurations essay, not due for two weeks. Honestly, being around her was a constant guilt trip. Her daily lectures about upcoming NEWTs and how much they'd missed last year were slowly working down Harry's natural defense against schoolwork. Harry always felt like he really should be working harder and preparing more. But then in the evenings, he found himself tangled up in Draco, kissing him and relaxing and readjusting to actually _feeling good_.

Draco was already calling out his first move, ignoring Ron's snide comment. The redhead responded quickly for the first few moves before the game began to slow down, strategies being formed in the minds of the silent competitors. It was almost as good as Quidditch for the two of them. Almost.

But for Harry it was boring as hell to watch and he wasn't very interested in doing his essay either. So he just sort of sat there, going through the motions of hanging out with his friends. He knew he needed to spend more time with them, in fact, even craved time with them. They'd been his constant companions during the war and every so often he'd find himself asking Hermione for advice, or going to elbow Ron when he heard a joke, only to find that they weren't always there anymore. It was odd, he missed having them around, and yet only having them for these set blocks of time wasn't very fun either.

"Check."

"Check."

"…"

"…"

"Check."

It was driving Harry mad!

"I'm going to the loo," He mumbled getting up, not expecting anyone to stop him, even though he was headed for the hallway, not the small attached bathroom in Ron's room.

"The bathroom's that way, Harry." Draco pointed out helpfully causing both Ron and Hermione to look up.

"Yeah, I just want to walk a bit too."

Draco looked up from the chess game now and seemed to take a minute to judge Harry's intentions just by looking in his eyes. Whatever he saw there was enough for him because he shrugged and said, "Alright."

Hermione gave him a smile that Harry thought meant more than, "Have a good piss, then." And he puzzled over it a bit as he walked out of the room and down the hallway.

Soon though, he forgot it as he heard what was undeniably a cry of distress. Harry's legs were dragging him forward before the rest of them even knew where he was going. His wand was in his hand, though he didn't remember pulling it out of his robes and he skidded to a stop around the far corner.

At the bottom of a long flight of stairs, there was a boy on the ground, beside him, a toppled, brown wheelchair. Harry knelt by the boy and gently guided him upwards.

"Are you alright? Do you need to go the hospital wing?" He asked, all the while his skin still prickling, on guard for any dangers that might be lurking.

The brown haired boy shook his head and used his arms to try and hold himself up, "No, just this damn chair. It's supposed to be enchanted for stairs too but—" the boy finally looked up and his breath caught in his throat. He apparently hadn't expected to see Harry Potter.

"Oh! I'm sorry. I just. Wow," The boy stumbled over his words. He tried to hold out a hand for Harry to shake but nearly toppled onto his face again. Luckily Harry still had a pretty firm grip on him.

"It's not a problem. Let me help you back up," Harry said and the boy was almost eerily silent in reply. But Harry assumed it was because he was just nervous around a 'celebrity'.

Harry righted the chair, and helped the boy into it. He couldn't have been more than thirteen and was still quite slight so Harry had no trouble lifting him.

"There you are," Harry mumbled as he righted the boy and mindlessly brushed some of the dust off his robes, "You should be more careful, you know." Harry said.

"Yes," The boy nodded, "I will. Thank you."

"It's not a problem at all," Harry smiled, "What's your name?"

"E-Eli," The young boy whispered, his cheeks slowly turning pink.

"Harry," Harry said while holding out his hand. The boy shook it and the reverence only grew stronger on his face.

"Harry?" A voice asked from around the corridor and he turned to look.

Draco smiled a little when he saw him, "I beat Ron so I thought I'd come look for you."

The blond's eyes traveled over the boy in the wheelchair and his feet faltered for a moment before his smile widened.

Harry's eyebrow rose, Draco rarely smiled at him let alone strangers. He stood up from where he'd been kneeling, "This is Eli," He introduced, "We just met."

"Eli," Draco whispered like it was an answer to a riddle he finally got, "Draco Malfoy," He introduced himself just as pointlessly as Harry had. As if anyone didn't know who they were.

The boy took his hand, his eyes wide and solemn, "I never got to thank you," The boy whispered.

"No thanks required," Draco assured in a gentle voice, "Where were you headed, Eli?"

"Oh crap!" The boy said smacking his own forehead, "I'm so late! I'm sorry, got to run— well… _roll, _I guess."

"Do you need any help getting there?" Draco asked, further shocking Harry with how inexplicably kind he was being.

"No, no," The boy assured, already starting to roll away, "I'll be fine. Let's talk more later though, okay?"

Draco nodded, "Sure."

The boy tapped the arm of his chair with his wand and said, "Forward!" And down the hall he went. After a distant echo of, "Left", the boy disappeared around the corner.

Draco turned to Harry with a smile, "Did you find a bathroom yet?"

"I was just trying to escape the monotony of chess and studying," Harry admitted easily, "Did you know that boy?"

Draco looked at Harry briefly for a moment before sighing, "Yes, but only a little. I met him once before and we didn't exchange names."

"Oh…" Harry whispered, still confused at Draco's inexplicable kindness to a near stranger. The blond could be ornery to his once best friends, it was strange to see him give away genuine smiles to a boy he'd only seen briefly once before.

Draco's eyes were glittering in the light from the windows and Harry could tell that the man was reading his mind. Not with real Legilimency, of course but instead with his knowledge of Harry's thoughts and character.

The blond grabbed Harry's arm and said, "Walk with me."

It wasn't so much a question as it was a command and yet Harry had never quite seen Draco act like this. Authoritative and almost patronizing. It was odd and reminded Harry a bit of Lucius which in turn made him frown.

But they walked and on the way, Draco started talking about the war in hushed tones. He recounted his brief encounter with Eli and doing his best with a few elementary spells to keep him from dying. Harry listened intently, reading into Draco's mannerisms as much as his words and understanding what he meant. Draco cared about that boy, from some reason. Something in the unlucky thirteen-year-old's personality must've struck Draco because he truly and deeply cared about him. Harry realized he might end up seeing more of Eli than he'd expected.

By the time Draco had finished walking there were significantly far away from where they'd started. Strange since the story hadn't really seemed that long, but Draco's long-legged stride had always made easy work of long distances.

"It's strange," Harry said, "To see you in a protective role."

Draco raised one eyebrow, "Why is that strange?"

Harry smiled teasingly, "Well I seem to recall you saying you'd make a terrible parent and listing a few less than favorable parts of your personality."

Draco laughed, "As you so wisely said, at sixteen, who is ready to be a parent? Especially with the rather sheltered and spoiled life I'd led for most of my youth."

"But your thoughts on it have changed?" Harry asked curiously.

Draco frowned in thought, "I'm still not sure about that. Being entirely responsible for the life of another person… And what is it with you dropping serious questions in hallways?" Draco asked.

Harry laughed, "What've we got to hide?"

Draco's smile grew as he whispered, "Nothing at all," Before pulling Harry into what was meant to be a short kiss.

Harry's heart fluttered and his head was swimming pleasantly. Kisses from Draco were like the finest Ambrosia that ever existed. Delicious and sweet, soft and powerful and…perfect. Harry didn't want to end, and more often these days a primal part of him was growling for more. He was nearly as surprised as Draco at the growls his throat would emit while his grip on the other man tightened. But he couldn't help how badly he wanted him, and dear _Merlin_ it was bad.

"Harry…" Draco whispered, trying to end the kiss but Harry refused.

"Draco," he replied seriously, hoping the Slytherin knew he did not intend to stop. One of his hands ended up in Draco's hair and he pulled making the blond moan helplessly and it made arousal pulse through Harry's body. Memories of his pale, angelic body writhing in pleasure in the silver moonlight had Harry's heart hammering rather than fluttering. God, he wanted it, needed it… He needed to know that those memories were real.

"Harry," Draco said firmly and Harry's arousal waned. It takes two for what Harry had in mind and it was obvious that only one of them was interested right now. Harry sighed internally but smiled like nothing had happened.

"Yes, love?"

"Ron and Hermione are still waiting," Draco reminded, "They're likely to come after us if we don't return soon."

"Right," Harry said, hoping he didn't sound too disappointed, "Right…"

Xx-XxX-xX

Draco stretched languidly before slipping into Harry's large bed. The Gryffindor was sitting up, his Charms book sitting open on his lap. Draco just sighed and relaxed into the softness and warmth, slipping one arm around Harry's waist.

"You need to sleep you know," He said.

"I know," Harry nodded absently, "But missing school last year has left me a little behind…"

"Your charms book isn't going anywhere," Draco continued.

Harry finally looked away from the book and smiled down at Draco, "Neither are you."

"I don't know," Draco shrugged playfully, "I'm feeling a little neglected. I might just have to leave and remind you what you'd be missing if you don't take care of me properly."

Before Draco could even finish speaking, Harry had closed the charms book and tossed it off the bed, before throwing himself quickly over the blond. Draco felt strong hands close around his wrists and hold them down. His heart thumped in anticipation and he looked up into Harry's face. The light was behind him, shadowing his face, but his eyes still caught just enough light for Draco to see the intensity in them.

"You're not going _anywhere_, Draco Malfoy," Harry breathed out, "I won't let you."

"Oh yeah?" Draco questioned, "And how are you going to keep me here?"

Harry swung one leg over Draco's hips, now leaning over him on all fours. He leaned down close and pressed their lips together briefly, "By the time I'm done with you, you won't ever want to leave."

Draco shivered in uncontrollable arousal but mostly, he felt nervous. Would Harry actually… Were they ready for that?

Harry seemed to pick up on Draco's hesitation, "I want to…" He whispered seriously, nothing on his face but honesty.

Draco's heart rate increased significantly, his body already far ahead of his mind.

"Are you sure?" He asked his voice weaker than a gentle breeze.

"I love you. We'll do what it takes to make this work," Harry assured, "If there's one thing I've learned it's that life is short. I… I don't want to wait."

Harry only watched him for a few seconds longer before he began to lower himself onto the other man. Draco sucked in a shaky breath when Harry's body relaxed onto his. Draco's arms moved of their own volition, coming up and wrapping around Harry's back.

One of Harry's hands let go of his wrist, his fingers trailing lightly down his arm, leaving goose bumps in their wake. Draco was breathing hard, his heart aching with sweet anticipation, his memories reminding him of what he knew Harry liked. Draco kissed him almost roughly, one of his hands sliding up Harry's spine and tangling in midnight colored hair. Harry let out a heartfelt moan, obviously relieved they were finally crossing the invisible wall that had kept them from doing this sooner.

Draco felt Harry's rough palm continued its journey down his side before resting on his hip, his thumb softly stroking back and forth. The touch felt much hotter than it should have and Draco's hips lifted a little in response. Their groins met and Draco could feel the heat between Harry's legs. His own body had already responded to the fiery kisses and teasing touches.

Harry started to kiss down Draco's neck and the blond immediately knew where the other was headed.

"Please…" He mumbled softly, not sure whether he was asking him to hurry or slow down.

Harry did neither, going at a pace he set for himself. He kissed softly at one of Draco's nipples before sucking on the small bit of flesh. Draco couldn't keep his eyes open, his blood seemed to be boiling, but Harry's hands still felt so damn hot against his skin, wherever they caressed. He hadn't felt this good in forever…

"Love you…" Harry reminded, when Draco tensed at a hand sliding up his thigh.

"God, Harry… I don't know," Draco breathed, scared once more by the intensity of his need.

"Shh…" Harry whispered as he pulled down Draco's pajama pants, causing him to hiss as the air hit his sensitive flesh.

Harry seemed to remember that he shouldn't rush past Draco's insecurity. Last year, they had been quite sure of each other's desires and while words would slip from their mouths that were rude or showed nervousness, they could still continue; both of them assured that this was what they wanted. But this year was _not_ like last year and it would take time to build that kind of surety again.

Those emerald eyes flashed up at Draco's once and Harry bit his lip, looking hesitant, "Do you want me to stop?"

Draco swallowed, and shook his head slowly. Harry grinned and it was a beautiful expression. Draco didn't want to miss a second of it since he so rarely got to see true smiles on the other man's face these days. But then a hand was wrapped around him and his eyes fluttered shut. Harry's lips closed around him and Draco moaned low and long.

Harry moaned in return and the hand that was holding Draco's hip tightened. Harry was slow to attempt taking Draco's cock deeper, only leisurely bobbing his head, a little more disappearing into his mouth each time. Draco was losing himself in the sensation and that scared him even more. His hands fisted so hard in the sheets his knuckles began to ache, a desperate attempt to hang on to some of the control he felt he needed.

Harry released the organ and softly kissed it once, "Relax." He whispered.

Draco struggled to make himself let go; it was harder than he'd expected. Harry's hand stroked up and down his still wet cock and the touch was perfect, reminding Draco how well Harry knew his body. It was so damn good, the familiar movement of his wrist and heat of his palm.

Impassioned, Draco sat up and pulled Harry back up so they were face to face, kissing him with everything had. He shoved aside his fear, momentarily feeling brave again. He reached down, sliding his hand down Harry's stomach and into his boxers to rest between his legs. Harry shuddered and moaned loudly.

He pulled away from the kiss long enough to whisper Draco's name a few times before diving right back in, their tongues swirling in a manner somewhere between a battle and a dance. Draco stroked Harry's cock lovingly, taking pride in each and every reaction he got for his efforts, from the slightest shiver to the loudest groan.

Harry apparently got impatient with the foreplay because the next thing Draco knew he was being pushed back down onto the bed. Harry nearly ripped off his own boxers and threw them over his shoulder without a second glance. Of course, Draco was able to see them land and hang on the doorknob. On the contrary, Harry was exceedingly gentle in undressing Draco, pulling off his pajama pants like he was unwrapping the most fragile and precious gift in the world. His eyes were bright with love and excitement and he drank in the sight of the blond lying bare before him with no small amount of pleasure.

Harry placed each of his hands on the insides of Draco's thighs, slowly pushing outwards. Draco obediently spread his legs, feeling exposed and nearly jittery with nerves.

"So beautiful…" Harry whispered kissing up Draco's body again. Draco found his fingers in Harry's hair again as he felt the man's body settle between his legs.

Harry's hands were touching him everywhere, and it seemed his warm, wet mouth knew his every weakness. At first it was pleasurable— fun if not a little daunting because of their year-long separation, but then Draco began to feel anxious.

He felt Harry's fingers touch his entrance and jerked at the sensation. A dark feeling welled up inside of him and snuffed out the flame of his arousal like a wet blanket over a single match. Draco froze up like a stone statue beneath his lover.

Harry realized within seconds that his kisses were no longer receiving the responses he was looking for and began to try harder to coax a reaction out of the Slytherin. Draco felt disgust and horror both at the situation and at himself for feeling disgusted and horrified. It was an odd mix of emotions.

Harry groaned in frustration before sighing and pulling away.

"What the hell is—Draco? Are you… Hey, what's wrong?" Harry asked.

Draco shook his head, wide eyes staring up into shining emerald irises. He could see his own reflection there. He looked almost lifeless.

"I'm not ready," was all he whispered.

Watching the concern and then abject disappointment on Harry's face made Draco feel ashamed. Why _wasn't_ he ready? Shouldn't he be?

Harry forced a smile and kissed the tip of Draco's nose, "Okay," He whispered. The Gryffindor looked a little awkward for a minute before he rolled out of bed and looked around.

"Umm… I'll just…" Harry started, jerking his thumb in the general direction of the bathroom.

"Okay," Draco replied.

Harry looked relieved to escape the room and the situation. But then Draco imagined it must be pretty awkward for only one of them to be aroused and the other, completely uninterested. He couldn't recall that ever happening before.

He sat up and raked his fingers through his hair, a little harder than usual, his fingernails actually hurting him just a little. But the sting of the scratches cleared his mind. He pulled back on his pants and turned over in bed, trying not to feel like a prudish, teasing, asshole.

* * *

><p>...<p>

* * *

><p>Btw, sleep paralysis is real and that shit is scary like you would never believe.<p>

Well would you look at that? You don't even have to press a button anymore! You can review right there in that spiffy box! See it? Do ya? Do ya! Well you might want to use it. Just saying. :]

I love all of you, sorry for my review whoring (it's a reflex at this point) but each and every one is appreciated.


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N:** Hey guys sorry for the extremely long wait. Unfortunately, my computer crashed and I worked pretty hard to get it back up without losing all my work. I finally managed it and reinstalled all the junk I need just to crank out these chapters. Don't hate me too much?

My birthday is next week and then Thanksgiving and then my sister's birthday and then finals so… I'll have another chapter for you before Thanksgiving! I promise. I swear on all that is yaoi.

Thanks for sticking with me and enjoy this chap.

I love you all!

* * *

><p>Chapter 7<p>

* * *

><p>"<em>Harry James Potter<em>!" A voice called making the Gryffindor flinch and freeze in his tracks. He knew _that_ tone.

He'd been talking to Ron, Neville and Seamus, with Draco by his side. They were in Seamus's room. It wasn't quite as big as Harry, Ron or Neville's but the Irishman's parties at this point were notoriously fun. Everyone gathered there.

In this case though, Harry watched as all three of his friends' faces fell in both empathy and humor, their eyes downcast as they struggled not to laugh. Draco looked confused as he'd been more standing and listening than active in any interaction. Uneasy, Harry slowly turned to face the person the voice belonged to, reflexively holding his Butterbeer behind his back. It was the more alcoholic brand…

Draco seemed relieved to see the small redhead approaching them but Harry straightened and smiled. Ginny was as sweet as a lemondrop most of the time but still very much like her mother. Sharper than Godric's sword and occasionally scarier than a rampaging dragon. And Harry had faced a rampaging dragon, so he had the right to make that comparison. Now that he thought about it, there were times he'd prefer the Hungarian Horntail.

Ginny stopped, hands on her hips, tapping her foot impatiently with a misleadingly small frown while her eyes blazed. She didn't seem any less scary for the fact that she was a good deal shorter than all the boys she was approaching. She stared up at Harry undaunted. Draco looked particularly shocked and insanely…_pleased_ while Harry wracked his brain for what he could've done.

"Two months," The girl started, "Excuse me, _two and a __half__ months_ since school has started and I can count the times I've seen you on one hand. What, pray tell, has kept you so distracted?" She asked raising her eyebrow in a way that implied no explanation would likely be good enough.

Harry stammered for a minute, gaping like a fish and wondering where his bravery had hightailed it off to. His friends were equal parts entertained, snorting into their drinks, and morose as though watching the slow pitiful end of someone who'd died in a hilariously awful freak accident.

"I—Well… I—you—umm…" Harry started his mouth just refusing to be cooperative. Luckily Draco stepped in shocking all of them. It reminded Harry that his entire life was changing to accommodate Draco. Even familiar interactions, like being scolded by Ginny now involved Draco and would forever be changed for it. But not in a bad way.

"That was my fault, Ginny." Draco said with his most charming smile, "I've taken up most of his time and you of course know how helpless he is at keeping his own affairs in order."

"Hey!" Harry interjected as Neville, Ron and Seamus struggled to not collapse into uncontrollable laughter.

"Oh," Ginny said, amusement in her eyes that made Harry almost sag in relief even as he watched the girl maintain her serious stance and expression, "How kind of you to attempt to save your miserably inattentive boyfriend from his fate, but not all the slick Slytherin charm in the world could help now."

Draco blinked but his charming smile deepened into sly grin, "Then you simply haven't met the right Slytherin."

Ginny raised her eyebrows. Most Gryffindor boys were used to the controlling rampages of friends and little sisters. They dealt with it by only acting cowed enough to appease them and nursing their bruised egos with lots and lots of humor. But they'd never seen a person try to fight fire with fire where it came to Ginny or Hermione, the worst perpetrators.

Over his shoulder he could see that his friends were gazing at Draco with shock and pity, sure he was about to face having his bollocks in a display case if he wanted to keep them at all. But they also looked at the blond with a fair amount of respect.

"Oh haven't I?" Asked Ginny and Draco continued with a seamless response.

"I'm afraid not," The blond sighed, "Of course, by no fault of your own. There's truly only one Slytherin capable of handling this and I know _personally_ how busy he was in the past. Now, however, I implore you not to place too much blame on our sweet oblivious Harry. He meant no insult."

Draco turned to look at him, laughter sparkling in his eyes in a way Harry hadn't seen since they'd been sixteen and it made his heart flutter, his cheeks coloring.

"You see," Draco pointed out, "He's thoroughly smitten and not in his right mind."

Ginny's lips actually quirked up in a smile and Harry heard Ron gasp a little behind him. None of them had ever redirected or stopped a Weasley rampage before.

"Yes," The girl agreed, "That much has been obvious for some time. It does not, however, explain the neglect of one of his dear friends."

"Of course not," Draco nodded emphatically, "Quite a dear friend indeed; I'm not sure how he garnered such esteem with a beautiful and capable young woman as yourself in the first place." Draco said, releasing the full potential of his smile and his expressive eyes. Harry hadn't seen the blond look so alive in forever. He knew it was a fake of course, the same sort of masks Draco had put on to survive as a spy, but just seeing it, and remembering that such happiness was possible made Harry's stomach flip flop even at Draco's indirect insults.

"They don't call you Slytherin prince for nothing do they?" Ginny asked, her face relaxing further as Draco seemed to soften her with his careful voice and endearing smile.

"A title given to only the slickest of them all." Draco agreed with a faux-modest sigh.

Ginny suddenly grabbed his ear making the blond's eyes widen to hysterical proportions, "For the slickest of them all you haven't much experience dealing with _me_, Malfoy!"

Draco at first look offended, probably never having his ear grabbed in such a way. It didn't help that she nearly yanked it off because he was so damn tall. But then he laughed heartily, shoving his drink into Harry's unoccupied hand and swinging the small girl up into his arms in a hug.

"You are so devilishly charming! And here I thought Gryffindors were characterized by witless bravery," He said before setting her back on the ground now turning to look at Harry with a disapproving look, "What could've made you neglect _her_ of all people?"

Harry groaned now that both Draco and Ginny were giving him disapproving looks, "_Two _of them! Merlin, when will I stop having to face such terrors?"

His friends had long since been laughing and even inviting others to watch the exchange. Seamus broke in now, saying, "You're alright, Malfoy. I had my doubts but you're one brave son of a bitch. For a snake, at least."

Draco smiled good-humoredly, but something in Seamus's words likely stung a little more than it should have. Harry could see it.

"And smart," Neville added with a nod, "Slytherin right to the end."

"No, he's just a lot like Ginny." Ron argued, "And she's hardly Slytherin."

Even Ginny had trouble not laughing. The girl was certainly Gryffindor material but there was no denying a few snake like qualities in her.

"It's not so much that I'm like Ginny as it is that I ally myself with the stronger of two opposing forces." Draco admitted honestly, "In this case Harry, I'm sorry but I'll have to betray you for this wondrous and crafty little vixen."

Ginny had the decency to blush and elbow the man, "Flatterer."

"By nature." Draco smirked.

Ginny laughed and pushed him back towards Harry, "Take him back quick Harry or he'll realize he can have anyone and doesn't have to settle for silly old you!"

Draco's face turned serious for a split second, his smile contented rather than arrogant, "As though I'd even entertain the thought of someone else." He said to a round of female coos and giggles.

"I'll give it to you, Harry," Ginny said genuine happiness on her face as well, "You can certainly pick them."

Harry coughed, realizing he'd said all of _nothing_ throughout most of this exchange, "I only won him the same as everything else in my life. Through a little merit and help from friends, and a lot of blind luck."

Somebody made a whipping sound, likely one of Harry's own friends and he laughed, "It's gotten bad when you don't even care, hasn't it?" He asked.

"Very bad." Seamus nodded.

"Horribly bad." Ron followed.

"Beyond repair." Neville snickered.

Draco rolled his eyes, flattered but unwilling to show too much of it in public, "But truly, Ginny, I'm sure you can come and spend time with Harry whenever you'd like. I rather enjoy your company."

Harry cleared his throat, "Right then. Yeah, you can come by my room all the time and bug me."

Draco sighed at Harry's relative ineloquence but did not complain.

"I'll be sure to do just that." Ginny grinned, "Don't be strangers you two."

"If we are, you'd come find us." Harry stage whispered and Draco played along, elbowing him gently.

"Of course not, Ginny." The blond nodded.

Xx-XxX-xX

Parties like Seamus' could be found every weekend for sure and on most weeknights as well. Some were more private and only included close friends, others were open and many students from all years would show. The school staff, so far, had done nothing to stop this. Draco thought McGonagall might be turning a blind eye to a little alcohol and students running back to their dorms an hour late for curfew. Even though it was breaking the rules, it was preferably to divided and unfriendly student body, still traumatized by war.

At least this way, students from different houses were mingling and having fun. House unity was becoming more and more apparent and it wasn't taking too much to encourage it. Disbanding the seating arrangements in the Great Hall had been an excellent idea. It encouraged a lot of different friendships. Of course, the Slytherins were still not treated anywhere near as kindly as others, and the poor first years who'd been sorted there just on their slyness or ambitious tendencies were suffering for things they'd never been a part of. It was getting better. Just…_slowly_.

Professor Brone was particularly unhelpful. Draco saw he was not the only Slytherin who was barely passing the class even though they worked hard, or the only one who had to face snide comments. It went from an annoying to infuriating relatively quickly. When Draco tried to discuss this with Harry, the boy had written it off.

"_Oh come on, Draco,"_ Harry had said, _"I had to deal with _Snape_ all those years. You've only got one year. And he doesn't seem so bad, anyway."_

Draco tried to argue his point but then gave it up. It was only one year, after all. He'd spent one year with the Dark Lord for Merlin's sake! One year with an irritating professor would not kill him.

Draco tried to remind himself of this as he walked into the DADA classroom. It didn't help his scowl. He sat down and Brone's sharp and hateful eyes glinted at him. Draco ignored it as best he could. When all the students were seated, Harry right at Draco's side, Brone began to teach.

Draco took notes but his hand seemed to do so almost of its own accord, leaving his mind free to wander. Harry was sitting beside him, as usual, but the Gryffindor's eyes were resolutely on his notebook, his hands were both on the desk and his body and chair were about as far from Draco as possible. Draco wasn't sure if this was deliberate or subconscious but he felt the distance and the tension all the same.

Ever since he'd refused Harry's attempt at sex the flimsy walls between them seemed to thicken. The kisses and touches that had become normal now nearly ceased. This made Draco feel intensely guilty. If only he was just able to relax enough. If he could trust himself to be face pleasure without falling apart. It felt so much like losing control, his sharper sense dulled and all logic flitted away in the face of physical pleasure. The entire point of it was to lose oneself in the heat and perfection of joining with another. Draco had thought he'd mastered this, he thought he'd been able to let go of his controlling tendencies. But they sprung back up at the most inopportune times.

If only he hadn't allowed the Dark Lord to… Draco redirected his thoughts, unwilling to think about such things, especially in class. The energy of distracting himself caused him to briefly fidget uncomfortably in his seat before he calmed again.

He sighed and rested his cheek on his palm, his elbow on the desk. Brone was showing the wand movement for a protection charm. Very suddenly, Draco realized he was falling asleep. Before he could do anything about it, his eyelids fell and he was plunged into darkness.

.

.

.

Draco snapped awake, feeling as though a bucket of ice water had been splashed over him.

"Back to the world of the conscious, are we?" Brone asked with a smirk.

Harry apparently hadn't noticed Draco was asleep until the last second as he looked just as shocked as everyone else in the class.

Draco closed his eyes to control any anger that might try to bubble forth, "I apologize, sir. I have a conditi—"

"I won't accept any excuses. Detention, Mr. Malfoy. I'll expect you in my office at 8 o'clock sharp."

Draco wanted to fight it but he didn't feel able to. He turned to Harry, hoping the man would vouch for him, but he only looked even more surprised to be brought into the situation. Harry shook his head and turned back to his notes. Draco's hands curled into tight fists and he barely made it through the rest of the lesson. He definitely didn't learn anything.

When the class was over, Draco was the first one out and he didn't wait in the hall for anyone to catch up. He refused to go back to Harry's room either so he just kept walking, unsure where he was going. He ended up outside, the glaring sunlight hurting his eyes. It was late in the afternoon already; Draco didn't have another class for a little while. He eventually had to stop walking when he reached the shore of the lake. He stood there, not sure what to do next but knowing for certain he didn't want to go back.

He was just angry, and maybe irrationally so. He wasn't sure. Maybe it wasn't right to expect for Harry to always stand up for him, but it certainly made him feel terrible that he hadn't. Maybe he was overreacting.

He heard footsteps crunching on the grass behind him and tensed, expecting Harry and the argument that was sure to come.

"Draco," Astoria whispered, softly touching his shoulder and making him turn.

He smiled slightly, "Astoria. Good to see you."

She returned his smile politely, "I saw you storming through the corridors and thought I'd check on you."

Draco looked away, embarrassed, "I wouldn't call it _storming_."

She giggled slightly and slipped her hand into his, standing beside him and looking out at the lake, "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

Draco was grateful for how undemanding she was. She didn't try to keep eye contact or force him to speak. She just stood by his side, open and ready to listen. Just her presence alone was relaxing and reminded him of long nights spent with her. It calmed his mind.

He was reluctant to speak about it so soon, not sure yet if his anger was even justified. But he had nothing to hide from Astoria and it was better to get it off his chest. Perhaps if he talked about it now, he would be calmer when he talked to Harry.

"I fell asleep in Defense Against the Dark Arts," he mumbled softly, "You know how Professor Brone is, I'm sure."

Astoria nodded, "That could certainly ruin a day," she commented noncommittally.

"I tried to defend myself but of course, he wouldn't listen to me. I turned to Harry... He knows that I drank that Dreamless Sleep back in 6th year, but…" Draco sighed reliving the sinking feeling of loneliness and rejection as Harry turned away, "He wouldn't do anything." Draco finished lamely.

"Strange…" Astoria said tapping her chin softly, "I was under the impression he tried to save everyone from anything."

"I'm blowing this out of proportion aren't I?" Draco asked turning away from the lake and looking into her face.

She smiled reassuringly, "Only a little, darling. Harry easily could've said something or at least spoken to you after class."

"I didn't give him the chance," Draco admitted.

Now Astoria frowned, "And what did I tell you about running away?" She scolded.

Draco frowned back, "Nothing, at all because _you_ are not in charge of me."

Astoria giggled, "Exactly right." She said as though she'd proven some point. She wrapped a single arm around his waist in a loose hug, "Now why don't you decide—of your own volition of course, to go back inside and speak to Harry about this."

The blond gave a small huff, feeling himself giving in already, though he desperately wanted to be angry. Anger would be a way to get his endless frustration out. He hadn't had a chance to act like a pissed off teenager in forever and he craved the freedom, the wild emotion. But at the same time, he was accepting that maturity was always the easiest road in the long run. In the end, he wasn't irreparably angry with Harry, just slightly annoyed. The annoyance was only amplified by his current circumstances. But there was no reason for him to throw a tantrum like a child. He would have to speak to Harry.

But he didn't want to. At least, not quite yet. He found himself shuffling a little closer to Astoria finding comfort in the simplicity of their relationship. Astoria's arm around his waist squeezed a little and her warmth was a pleasant contrast to the chilly autumn breeze.

"I will." He nodded tiredly having no intention of moving anytime soon.

Xx-xX

Harry threw his book bag down and then threw himself down on the couch right after it. He sighed and weakly wondered if he had the energy to punch something. Deciding quickly that he didn't, he halfhearted kicked at a throw pillow and decided that was good enough.

"Well isn't someone huffy today," A voice called suddenly making Harry start in surprise. Luckily, he immediately recognized the voice; otherwise he might've cast a hex or two in their direction.

Ginny forcibly pushed him into a sitting position—as forcibly as she could at least, which Harry worriedly noticed was not very much. She sat down beside him and poked his side slightly, "What's wrong?"

Harry shook his head not even sure how to explain it, "I can't find Draco," He started, figuring that was the largest part of the problem, "Neville borrowed the Marauders map and I've looked everywhere…"

"The one time I decide to drop in for a visit, my favorite person isn't here," she sighed teasingly. Harry forced himself to crack a smile, more for her benefit than his.

Harry tilted his head, "Actually… How did you get in here?"

"Oh, Lisa let me in. She's so sweet."

Harry rolled his eyes, "Yeah but not the greatest security. I mean sure she only lets in friends but a simple Polyjuice and—"

"Don't be so tough on her," Ginny scolded, "The war is over and this _is_ Hogwarts. Now, why can't you find Draco?"

"He got a detention in Defense and I think… I dunno. He just looked so offended, like pissed off at me. He looked over at me like I was supposed to stand up for him."

Ginny looked confused, "Why wouldn't you?"

Harry made a sound of frustration between a sigh and grunt, "Just—_because! _Am I supposed to fight his every fucking battle? Already I have to deal with all this shit—" he kicked the fallen throw pillow again, this time with enough force to send it sailing across the room, "People giving me all this special treatment. The last thing I need to do is make it worse changing rules for me and my friends. He fell asleep in class, what the hell was _I_ supposed to do?"

"Whoa…" Ginny said backing away a little, "I didn't realize this was so… Of course, I understand. But did you get a chance to explain any of this to him?"

Harry shook his head and slumped back into the soft cushions, "No."

"Well," Ginny started slowly, "It just so happens, I know where he is."

Harry turned to look at her, wanting to hug and shake her at the same time, "Why not start with that?" he asked standing up.

"I didn't realize this was all so serious," She replied standing with him. She grabbed his arm to make him pause and gazed into his eyes, "Hey, this _isn't_ that serious. I know you guys and this isn't half as stressful as what you've been through before. You need to stop sweating the small things."

Harry gave her a strange look and she rolled her eyes, "Strange saying, but I mean it. Calm down. Don't rush out there frustrated or you'll just start another argument."

Harry was suddenly aware of the frustration pulsing with him, completely overtaking his rationality. He felt the raw energy of it zinging through him and knew he had to control it. He took one deep breath, concentrating on the feeling, taking hold of its reins and calming it. The frustration slowly began flow away. But Harry had a feeling this was only a temporary fix. Still, Ginny smiled at him.

"Better?"

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "Yes," he grinned at her, "This isn't a big deal at all, is it?"

"Nope," she said conclusively with a slight popping sound at the end.

"What would I do without you, Gin?" he asked giving her a quick hug.

"Spend the rest of your life creating techniques to get back into Draco's good graces every time you screw up?" She offered.

Harry laughed, "I don't think even you can stop that from happening at least some of the time. So where is he? I really want to see him."

Ginny gave him an indulgent smile and pulled away, "He was out by the lake with Astoria. I saw them from a window on my way here."

Harry hardly even had a second to scold himself for not thinking to look out around the lake. His good mood was already failing as he thought of Draco outside with Astoria. Just the memory of her jasmine scent made him feel almost sick to his stomach. She was comforting Draco first, there for him before Harry even had a chance to explain himself—

"Harry?" Ginny asked snapping him back from his darker thoughts.

"Oh, right. Yes, thank you. I'll see you later Ginny. Thanks for your help." He nodded already heading for the door.

Lisa waved and said she'd see him later after he closed the portrait but he was already jogging down the hall. He caught a few glances of people outside but he couldn't tell if any of them were Draco and he didn't want to stop. He wanted to get to Draco.

He stumbled down the steps and nearly slipped on the slightly damp grass before he really started to look around and pinpoint where Draco was. He caught sight of Astoria first, her long chestnut hair hanging down her back. Draco's pale hair had been harder to see in the glare of the overcast day, seeming to blend in with the fog. Harry ran towards them, his feet crunching against the grass.

Xx-xX

Draco turned at the sound of someone running. He was slightly surprised to see Harry, especially so soon. Astoria pulled away from him to turn and face the other man and Draco found that he already missed her warmth. Harry bent at the waist, hands on his knees as he gasped, his heavy breath fogging in the autumn chill. It took him a few more long seconds for him to catch his breath.

Finally the Gryffindor stood upright and brushed his hair from his eyes, "Draco," He started, "I think we need to talk."

Astoria gave Draco her 'I-told-you-so' smirk before turning back to shoot a genuinely sweet smile at Harry, "Of course. I'll just be off then. Play nice, you two!" She grinned as she began walking away.

Draco rolled his eyes before turning back to Harry. He wasn't half as angry as he had been, but he'd been quite angry from the start. He could hardly look Harry in the face, his mind replaying the image of Harry turning away from him.

"Yes?" He asked softly, wondering what Harry would have to say.

"What do you mean, 'yes'?" Harry snapped his breathing still quicker than normal, "You just fucking—disappeared. What happened back there?"

Draco crossed his arms, "Which part would you like me to recount? Me getting a detention or you sitting there and watching it happen?"

Harry scowled, "You shouldn't have fallen asleep."

Draco growled, his rage returning. If he was honest with himself, he would realize the anger he was feeling was combined from many situations, not just this one. However, he wasn't being honest with himself right now.

"Shouldn't have fallen asleep!" He hissed, "Are you kidding me? You know that happens to me sometimes ever since I drank that Dreamless Sle—"

"That was _also_ your fault," Harry pointed out, his voice riding the razors edge between controlled hostility and pure fury.

"But you didn't just have to sit there and watch it happen. You could've stuck up for me. You knew Brone wouldn't listen to me and you still just—"

"Merlin, Draco! Do I have to be your savior all the time!" Harry yelled, throwing up his hands and making Draco pause, "Every fucking day there's someone to save, something I shouldn't have done, something I _should've_ done. Am I just supposed to jump up and fight your every battle!"

Draco paused, the heat of his argument deflating. Maybe he was demanding too much. He should've defended himself, or better, he should've been more careful with the potions he abused. A year ago he hadn't taken the long term effects into consideration and now he was paying for it. That couldn't be blamed on Harry no matter how it was viewed. It had stung fiercely not to have Harry stick up for him, but perhaps, he wasn't taking the Gryffindor's feelings into consideration.

Harry hung his head, looking slightly ashamed, "I'm sorry…" He whispered, "I didn't mean to shout at you."

Draco shook his head, "It's alright. Just the heat of the moment."

"No, it's not alright," Harry corrected, "To hell with 'the moment'. I shouldn't shout at you. You don't deserve it."

Harry reached out and touched Draco's shoulder. At first the contact seemed sort of distantly reassuring; the same sort of gesture Draco might share with a friend. But Harry softened and his hand traveled up to Draco's cheek. He caressed it softly and took a few steps forward, "I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted," Draco was sure to say this time, "And I apologize in return. I shouldn't have expected so much of you."

The words came out of his mouth, sounding slightly generic even to his own ears. He didn't really believe what he was saying and he was upset with himself for it. He wanted this to all be alright but it just…_wasn't_. But there was no solution to this problem, so why bother making them both more upset. They had enough problems. Part of him was still highly disgruntled with the situation but for the sake of keeping the peace, apologies were flooding his mouth.

Harry leaned forwards to press a dry kiss to Draco's cheek, "I just… I have a hard enough time getting people to accept that I'm not getting any preferential treatment…"

_But you _do_ get preferential treatment_, Draco's mind mocked unhelpfully.

"I completely understand," His lips whispered.

Harry smiled a little and then gave a small chuckle, "Our friends will soon be sick of our dramatics."

"We're just having trouble settling back in. That's all." Draco explained.

Harry gave a decisive nod, and Draco was certain the Gryffindor didn't believe that any more than Draco did.

Xx-XxX-xX

Draco walked into Professor Brone's office with his head held high, through his hopes were down about his ankles. The man smiled at him with malicious glee and motioned for Draco to take a seat at the first chair in front of the large oak desk.

Draco was slightly surprised to see another student sitting there. It was the boy he'd helped with his patronus a few weeks back. Draco remembered the boy's name was Ephraim but he couldn't remember what he'd done to end up in detention as well.

"So Mr. Malfoy," Brone started, "I'm sure you remember why you're here. Or do you need to go over it?"

"I know why I'm here," Draco agreed in a flat voice.

"Good," Brone smirked, "I thought long and hard about how best to punish you. But I heard about a particular punishment created in Azkaban and recently approved for application elsewhere. You see, it has the ability to calm even the most hostile of criminals and at the same time it uses no force and inflicts no pain."

Draco could feel the blood draining from his face. He knew from spending time in Azkaban exactly which "revolutionary" punishment Brone was talking about. It was created during just after the war and put into use immediately. It was far more ethical than any pain inflicting hex and twice as effective as prolonged solitary confinement.

"Perhaps since you like sleep so much you'll enjoy it," Brone chuckled, "But my intent is to give you time to think about your actions."

Draco gripped the arms of his seat ready to jump from it and run. But to who? Harry wouldn't help. This was Draco's battle and Harry was distracted enough. No authority figure in the school cared very much for his wellbeing. He felt very trapped, and he knew that the feeling was about to become ten times more intense.

Ephraim had been silently watching the entire time but a smug smile was growing on his face. Why was he there? As a spectator?

"Unfortunately," Brone continued, "I may have some business to attend and Ephraim will watch over you in the case of my absence. After all, you'll be quite helpless."

Draco felt like he was shrinking. He hadn't felt so afraid in months and not since the war ended had he felt as though he had no recourse. The world felt very big and very unwelcoming and then Brone pointed his wand and the world disappeared.

Draco mentally screamed, knowing he was now unable to do so physically. You never get to hear the entire incantation if you're the target. It's a curse of the foulest nature. To inflict psychological torture under the guise of kindness. The hex inflicted full and complete sensory deprivation. The person it is inflicted upon loses contact with all five of their senses. It was worse than solitary confinement. Draco felt has though his consciousness had been forced from his body. Nothing existed but his own fear and darkness.

All sense of space and time dissolved and Draco could do nothing but silently scream. He didn't know if Brone and Ephraim were hurting him, hexing him, searching him. He couldn't feel anything. He couldn't feel the air in the room or hear the slightest of sounds. He couldn't smell any potion they could be trying to force down his throat and he certainly could taste it. It was like being forced to relinquish all control over your physical self to the mercy of your punisher. And for Draco, who needed rigid control to feel even slightly safe, it was a living hell

Time passed so slowly that sanity seemed to escape him and he began to lose more than just his physical senses. Memory stopped making sense, logic became a dream. The world was spinning far of its axis and Draco was floating in nonexistence. Each second passed as an eternity and yet chunks of time came and disappeared before he could acknowledge them. He was utterly lost in every sense of the word, with not a single anchor to reality securing him.

After what seemed a lifetime of the torture, he was thrown so hastily back into reality he felt physically ill. The sound of his own breath seemed to be at damaging decibels, his skin was on fire the breeze's most gentle caress, and the sting of light seemed to burn through his eyes and deep into the center of his brain causing a debilitating migraine.

He groaned pitifully and tried to hold himself together. He could hear Brone talking but it sounded so loud that he could differentiate one word from the next. He just kept nodding and hoping it was the correct response.

"Alright, Mr. Malfoy. You've served your punishment. You're free to go," came Brone's painfully loud voice. Perhaps Draco could finally hear enough to understand only because they were the words he'd wanted so desperately to hear. Before he could see straight, he was standing from his chair and stumbling out of the room.

His hasty escape went uninterrupted and he managed to make it halfway back to his room with Harry before the sickness overcame him. He grabbed onto the foundation of a statue and promptly threw up. The world was still spinning, but this time it was a speeding broom through a carnival. Dizzying dips and turns and so many bright lights and sounds and smells that he could handle it. He had enough decency to banish his vomit as the statue was scolding him and ordering him to the hospital wing. But he didn't want to go there.

Draco used the wall for balance and held his stomach with one arm as he stumbled through the corridors hoping that no one would see him. He didn't know what to think, in fact he could hardly think at all. A hand reached out to him from the blinding lights blinking around him and Draco attempted to jerk away.

"Calm down, Drake. You're alright," a voice whispered softly.

Draco blinked at the spot where the voice had come from. He tried desperately to make his vision clear so he could see properly but the blurs of colored light weren't going anywhere. Draco didn't need to see to recognize the tone of that voice though, despite its grating volume against his sensitive ears.

Draco allowed himself to be led, knowing Blaise wouldn't take him to the hospital wing. He hadn't spoken to the other man in nearly a year but they'd been friends for years previously. Blaise would understand that he didn't want to be coddled by Madame Pomfrey or to explain anything to anyone. He wanted to rest and think clearly again.

"Oh dear!" a sharp voice exclaimed making Draco recoil, "You don't look very good, Draco. Are you sure you shouldn't be in the hospital wing?"

It was Lisa, Draco was sure. Surely, being able to recognize voices meant his hearing was returning?

"Positive," Draco rasped, still blinking colored dots from his vision.

"Well that's not the password, but you'd better get inside and lie down!" Lisa said worriedly before swinging the door open.

Blaise led Draco inside, taking carefully slow steps so as not to jostle the blond. Draco was already beginning to feel better, though. He knew from experience in Azkaban that the side effect of sensory deprivation was temporary sensory overload when the spell was removed. It would go away soon; he just needed to lie down somewhere dark and quiet.

Blaise held Draco tight to his side, walking Draco through the sitting room. He was careful not to trip or bang either of their knees into end tables or chairs. Draco was guided downwards and he sighed as he lay back on the couch. Blaise muttered a spell and the lights dimmed. Draco could've kissed him. The dimness was to his burning eyes as cold water to a burning throat. His migraine still pulsed in the center of his forehead, but the searing pain was fading.

Blaise was wise enough to only whisper, remembering Draco's oversensitive ears, "Are you alright now?"

Draco nodded wearily. He wasn't really up to talking at the moment and he expected Blaise knew that. The other man didn't say another word but Draco knew he hadn't left. They sat in the silent dimness for an immeasurable amount of time; each minute passing giving Draco back a little more of his sanity. He finally blinked his eyes open and was met with the blurry image of Harry's sitting room.

He really would have to talk to Lisa about letting them in without passwords. Polyjuice wasn't very difficult to brew, after all. But in this instance, he had to admit he was glad for it. He didn't think he'd have been able to remember the password with the way his entire body was pounding and trembling in pain.

Blaise sat forward in the armchair and raked his eyes over Draco quickly, "Better?" He asked.

"Much," Draco croaked with a short nod.

He sat up and ran a hand over his face. He grimaced at the taste of bile still lingering in his mouth but managed to focus his eyes on Blaise. The man's handsome face was set into a grim expression but still showed hints of concern.

"I assume that was Professor Brone," Blaise said uselessly.

"He's been treating the rest of the Slytherins like this, hasn't he?"

Blaise scoffed, "And worse. You've been hanging out with the great savior and his friends so you wouldn't really know."

Draco looked down at the carpet, "I wasn't sure I was welcome in your crowd."

"_Our_ crowd," Blaise snapped, "Don't forget you're one of us, no matter how many Gryffindors you fuck."

Draco glared, "One of us, one of them, what the hell does it matter either way? Only _weak_ minds seek strength in factions. Separatism will lead us right back where we started."

Blaise sneered, "You were preaching something quite different not six months ago."

Draco rolled his eyes, pleasantly surprised that no pain resounded from the movement, "I'm not going to debate with you over whether the ends justify the means. What is done is done."

Blaise looked away, but his fingers were tapping in annoyance. Silence came over them again and Draco managed to stand up without swaying too much.

"Would you like something to drink?" He asked, "I think we've got some Butterbeer stashed away somewhere."

"Sure," Blaise agreed offhanded, still wrapped up in his own thoughts.

Draco walked into the bedroom and opened a small cabinet on Harry's side of the bed. He figured the Gryffindor wouldn't mind. Even if he did, Draco could replace them easily. He pulled out two and returned the sitting room.

Blaise had his head in his hands but looked up with Draco returned. He thanked the blond man for the drink but didn't open it immediately.

"I'm sorry for being rude," He started.

"You're still my friend, Blaise," Draco assured, "No apologies necessary."

For the first time in their entire conversation Blaise smiled, "Why haven't you replied to my letter?"

"Letter?" Draco asked mockingly, "You mean that shred of parchment shoved into my textbook that insulted me and my boyfriend?"

Blaise chuckled, "Yes, that."

Draco popped the cap off of his Butterbeer and took a long sip before answering, "I wasn't sure what to say to you. Of course you're still my friend; we've known each other too long for it to be otherwise. However… I wasn't sure how much of friend was based on us being groomed for the Dark Lord's command and how much was true compatibility."

Blaise nodded, "That's a legitimate worry. Have you come to your conclusion?"

Draco smirked, "Always one to rush the point… Yes, I've decided it doesn't matter. If we'd like to be friends now, we'll soon see whether we actually have anything in common. But giving up before trying is accepting defeat."

Blaise eyed him carefully, as though trying to see through him for a moment before he grinned, "I just heard, 'let's not bother thinking, let just do and hope for the best.' You're turning into a Gryffindor."

Draco laughed and shook his head, "Spend some time around _real_ Gryffindors. I'm not half as bad as them."

Before Blaise could respond the door opened and the lights came back up. Draco reflexively shielded his face from the light and couldn't see who it was.

Harry's voice was easily recognizable though, "Draco? Are you alright?"

No greeting for Blaise, he noticed, "Fine," Draco grunted, "Turn down the light please."

"Why?" Harry asked even as he did so, "What's going on?"

When the lights were dimmed again, Draco was finally able to open his eyes; but colored spots still obscured his vision, "I've been feeling a little sick," He lied, "Blaise found me in the corridor and brought me back here."

Harry came and knelt at his side, "Why didn't you tell me you were sick?"

Draco shook his head, ignoring Harry's question, "Blaise, it was nice talking with you."

The boy stood with a nod, already heading for the door, "You too. I'll see you around."

Draco's vision cleared enough to see Harry shoot a suspicious glance at Blaise before he turned his gaze back on Draco, "Are you sure you're alright?" Harry asked, "You're not… trying to hide something from me?"

Draco sighed, "A little, but not about Blaise. I served Brone's detention today…"

Harry sighed in relief and then chuckled making indignation burn in Draco's chest, "Taste of Snape's medicine, eh? Not so fun having a teacher who hates you, is it?"

Draco frowned and looked away, "Not at all."

* * *

><p>...<p>

* * *

><p>So how was it? Worth the wait? Just a little? Leave a review please. I know I hardly deserve it but... purty please? :]<p>

I WILL update in the next two weeks.


	9. A Note

DON'T KILL ME! This isn't an update unfortunately. More of an explanation and a promise.

The holidays hit my family like a freight train and things have been a roller coaster since. This semester I've really been working hard and haven't had time to write. However, summer starts in a few days! (I've still got tons of stuff to do before I transfer but I'll have waaaay more time than I do now)

I do NOT intend to leave ANY of my stories unfinished. Even if it takes me forever, I will finish them so don't lose hope. The best way to reach me is by messages and reviews since I always see, and usually reply to them.

So questions? Yes, Draco will eventually tell Harry about the Voldie stuff. Yes, they will have a happy ending. Just keep calm and have faith. :]

Thank you tons for your patience and expect the next chapter soon!


	10. Chapter 8

**IMPORTANT A/N:**

So… I've had this chapter ready for a little while, but I had to make sure it was really what I wanted to post. I wrote myself into a corner a few times and had to go back to change things. BTW, though this story is 8 chapters long, it's more than 150 pages. -_- Maybe I should make my chapters shorter. That'll make it easier to stick to a time for posting.

Now for the important part: I actually write a LOT more than I post. Currently I've got five stories up, but I've got nearly thirty active ones on my computer. I like writing, but my attention span is shit so I'll jump back and forth between stories sometimes leaving others untouched for a while (as you all got to witness happening with Impact). So I'm going to put up a poll, and I'd like to see what people think about me just posting whatever I'm writing at the time.

My page will be filled with stories but they may take a while to finish. So should I let you all see what I'm writing most of the time, or just keep stories locked away on my computer until they're finished to ensure I can update on time? Your call.

On to the story!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and this is unbeta'd right now. Forgive mistakes or tell me about them in a review so I can correct them.

* * *

><p>Chapter 8<p>

* * *

><p>Harry Potter walked into his room to see Draco sitting on the sofa reading a dark colored paperback book. He was feeling warm and refreshed, having just come back from Quidditch practice. He'd already showered and changed back into school robes. He <em>very <em>carefully floated a disillusioned box just next to the sofa with his wand, setting it down silently. He needn't have taken the precaution. Just as he was sighing in relief that Draco hadn't noticed, the portrait door behind him closed rather loudly and Draco didn't even flinch. He was apparently lost to the world.

"Draco?" Harry asked.

"Hmph," The blond grunted in response.

"Er…I'm back," Harry announced with a smile.

"Mhm…" Draco nodded absently.

With a roll of his eyes Harry quickly went over to the sofa and plopped down heavily, knocking the blond off balance and making him lose the page in his novel.

Draco elbowed him in the ribs, "Git," He mumbled flipping back through the pages to find where he'd left off.

"Oww, you prick. I have a bruise there," Harry whined holding the spot where a buldger had grazed him earlier.

Draco didn't reply, having found his page. He was careful to note the page number this time, just in case his boyfriend decided to jostle him again.

"What're you reading?" Harry asked, peeking over at the print.

Draco glanced at Harry, the first eye contact he'd given him since he walked in. He turned the book away from Harry's sight a little and continued reading, "Just a novel."

"What about?" Harry asked scooting impossibly closer to the blond and again trying to see a few lines in the book.

Draco sighed and shouldered Harry away, "A vampire falling in love with a muggle. Astoria recommended it but I find it ridiculously inaccurate and sickeningly romantic."

Harry raised an eyebrow, "Yet you're so pissed off when you lose your page."

Draco's lips tightened and his cheeks began to color, "…Shut up."

"That's what I thought," Harry smirked victoriously, "Wouldn't you know it? Draco Malfoy reading cheesy romance novels in broad daylight. I'll have to alert the presses."

Passing his breaking point, Draco threw the book down and nearly tackled Harry, "I said, _shut up!_" He repeated, holding Harry down before tickling his ribs.

"Okay! Okay!" Harry shouted between his laughter, trying in vain to push Draco off, "I won't tell!"

"Swear it," Draco commanded seriously, not ceasing for a second.

"I— I swear!" Harry gasped, "I swear on—on all the dirigible plums in the world!"

That made Draco stop out of sheer confusion, "What the fuck is a dirigib—mmf!"

Harry had decided to counter attack, surging upwards and reversing their positions. There were nearly falling off the sofa but Harry began tickling Draco under his arms, making him snort in uncontrollable laughter.

"Stop!" He cried piteously.

"Oh shall I, Mr. Malfoy? What will I get in return?" Harry asked in a sarcastically apathetic voice.

"An—Anything." Draco breathed.

"Oh?" Harry asked his eyes nearly glowing in the dim room, "Anything, you say? How about…"

He leaned down and pressed his lips to Draco's making warmth spread through the blond's entire body. He sighed in contentment kissing back and wondering why they hadn't been kissing more frequently. This reminded him why he was fighting so hard to make things work. This reminded him why he'd come back at all. Because, he fucking _loved_ this man.

Harry's smirk fell and Draco's laughter ceased entirely and they both completely forgot whatever they'd been playfully fighting about (as they so frequently found themselves doing). All that mattered was that they were kissing again and it'd been too long. A second's break from Harry's lips was too long and Draco wondered at how he could've forgotten this.

Eventually Harry pulled back just a few inches, his eyes darkened by his dilated pupils. He softly stroked Draco's cheek and stared down into his eyes.

"When's the last time we kissed?" Harry whispered.

"I don't remember," Draco replied.

Harry grumbled and began kissing Draco's neck, "Let's never go that long without kissing again," he said against Draco's soft skin.

Draco nodded his agreement, "Never…"

Harry sighed huffily and pushed his messy hair back from his forehead, "You've distracted me from why I came in here."

Draco pushed Harry up and got them both sitting upright, "Perhaps you did because this is your room?" he asked sarcastically.

"No…" Harry said with a grin, "But keep guessing."

Draco's fingers absently tried to tame Harry's wild hair but they both knew there was no victory to be had there, "Because you think someone is waiting here for you; too impossibly in love with you to realize what a moron he is."

Harry cocked his head to the side, "Perhaps… Would I be wrong about that?"

"Of course," Draco snapped but there was teasing humor in his eyes, "Who would actually be stupid enough to fall in love with a prat like you?"

Harry smiled and pressed another warm kiss to Draco's lips, loving how soft they felt. When he pulled away, he made a show of looking dejected, "You're absolutely right. What an idiot I've been thinking about him all day and even going and getting him a—well it doesn't matter now I suppose."

Draco's ears pricked up at that, "Getting him a what?" He demanded.

"Oh it's useless. He doesn't love me after all," Harry sighed throwing an arm over his face and falling back against the arm of the sofa dramatically, "Woe to my pitiful heart!"

Draco actually chuckled and the sound was enough to make Harry smile despite his acting. That was a sound he expected he'd always enjoy.

"Harry James Winifred Potter," Draco scolded.

Despite the menacing tone, Harry had to laugh out loud, removing his arm from his eyes so he could give Draco a look, "_Winifred?_ Really?"

Draco shrugged with a smirk, "Well I had to add something for dramatic effect. Your name is quite plain, really."

"Oh shut up you," Harry laughed again, "Leave me back to my misery and take your unnecessary middle names with you!"

"Harry…" Draco whined. It wasn't really whining, not in the usual sense at least. Perhaps to others it sounded that way. But to Harry, Draco's soft pleading voice tugged at his heart. Some sickeningly romantic part of his brain told him to just give the blond whatever he wanted and serve it on silver platter with a cherry on top.

"Oh alright," Harry sighed, "Take the fun out of everything why don't you," He said siting up again.

Draco smiled and warmth curled in Harry's chest, "Now what was it that you were talking about? What did you get?" Draco asked excitement showing in his expression.

Harry smiled and pulled out his wand pointing it at the seemingly empty spot beside the sofa. The disillusionment charm rippled away and left in its place a large pale blue box with silver trimming and ribbons adorning it. On top was a half dozen dark blue roses, their silky petals the color of a sapphire. Beside those was a folded card of creamy parchment that had twinkling stars on it and Draco's name written clearly in dark ink.

Draco's face went slack and he looked at Harry confused before his eyes fell back to the gift. He let out a soft breath and whispered, "What day is it?"

Harry smiled and leaned in close, just wanting to feel his warmth, "It's Wednesday," he whispered.

Draco shot him a heatless glare, "You know what I mean. Harry… I—I mean…" The blond trailed off, "I've forgotten whatever this day means," He whispered sounding ashamed, his eyes still staring at the present in awe.

"There isn't any special day, Draco," Harry clarified, "I got it because I want to make you happy. Because I'll love you as much today as any other day, with all my heart."

Draco's eyes looked a little shiny which surprised Harry but he didn't comment. The blond turned to look at him with the widest smile he'd had on his face since before the war. He threw his arms around Harry in a tight embrace, "You hopelessly romantic git," Draco mumbled as he peppered kisses over every available inch of Harry's face.

Harry just smiled and enjoyed the affection. This was the man he'd fallen in love with and the one he wanted by his side for however long his life would last. A thousand years or more if they could manage it. Even that time wouldn't be enough to enjoy Draco's company.

With one last kiss to his cheek, Draco stood excitedly and went to his gift.

"Careful," Harry warned, "It's fragile."

Draco scrutinized the box pointedly as though trying to see through it before carefully picking it up and placing it on the coffee table. He picked up the roses first, bringing them to his face to smell before carefully touching the soft petals with his fingertips.

"What made you choose blue?" he asked, turning to look at Harry.

Harry scratched at the back of his neck, feeling a little embarrassed. He knew blue wasn't Draco's favorite color, "I know you're not a fan of red, and they seemed too cheesy anyway. The green ones were the same color as the stems which looked sort of odd. I was thinking I might get you silver ones but I saw those and just…"

Harry trailed at Draco's understanding smile, "I absolutely love them," He said his voice going to that velvety soft tone that made Harry's heart melt.

Draco sat down the roses and picked up the card next and his grin was a thousand miles wide when he read the simple line it held: _Just because it's Wednesday._ _Love, Harry_.

Draco sat down the card just as carefully as the roses, as if it was fragile too, before he began unwrapping the box. The ribbons fell away easily and the paper was pulled off in just a few quick motions that kept it from being terribly shredded. Draco pulled up the flaps of plain white cardboard and gasped.

I tiny white kitten was sitting at the bottom, on its own fluffy bed. In the box along with the kitten were a few small toys. Draco turned to Harry with his eyes wide, "A cat?"

"A kitten," Harry corrected, "One of those magical ones that will never turn into an old annoying cat."

Draco laughed out loud, "Really? I can't believe you even remember that. This is…" Draco trailed gently picking up the kitten. It fur was as white as snow except for a few gray markings on its head. It blinked owlishly at the blond, its dazzling dark blue eyes shining in the light.

"He or she?" Draco asked.

"A she," Harry answered, "The last thing we need is another vain male here…"

Draco lightly kicked his shin even while hugging the kitten close, "Oh she's adorable."

Harry's eyebrows rose while he ignored the very slight stinging in his leg, "I never thought I'd hear you coo like that."

Draco shot him a short glare, "Cute things, Potter. They do strange things to my mind. Fortunately for me, you're not exactly in that category."

Harry gasped and put a hand to his chest, "Oh the witless wonder has struck again!"

Draco kicked him again and this time he did it hard enough to really shut the other boy up, "Dick."

"Ow! Merlin, Draco I buy you a kitten and you thank me by crippling me?" Harry asked as he rubbed what was sure to be a bruise in a few hours, "You're so abusive."

Draco didn't smile at that and he sat down hesitantly beside Harry, "Sorry… I didn't think of it like that," He pulled his wand out of his pocket and cast a simple healing charm at the spot, "I suppose I'm so used to beating you up that I sometimes forget a boyfriend shouldn't do that."

Harry could see that Draco was about to seriously fret over his ill-placed comment and quickly reached out to touch his shoulder, "Don't be ridiculous love. I'm certainly not fragile at all. And with the shit that comes from my mouth some days I'm not sure how you keep from kicking me more often."

Draco cracked a smile and relaxed into the sofa, the kitten still clinging to his chest and curiously playing with his tie.

"What shall we name her?"

"Hmm…" Harry said leaning closer to Draco and placing his arm around his shoulders. Draco scooted closer to him as well until their sides were flush, "Well she's technically yours. You should pick."

"Looking at those eyes, I don't think I have much choice." Draco petted the kitten softly behind the ears and asked, "How would you like to be called Blue?"

The kitten stared at him blankly for a bit before catching one of his fingers and puzzling at it. Draco laughed, "Well I suppose she'll realize soon. Familiars are usually very smart. I'm sure she's just adjusting to us."

"Right," Harry smiled. Why Draco Malfoy would feel the need to defend a kitten's intelligence, he'd never know.

"I'm glad you like her," Harry whispered leaning close and kissing Draco's cheek. It was meant to be quick but he found himself going back for one after the other until the kisses were trailing down the blond's neck.

"Why don't you do a little exploring, Blue," Draco said setting the kitten down on the floor. In a flash of white the kitten was bounding off, taking Draco's suggestion to heart.

While Harry was bemusedly watching the kitten attempt hoping up onto the bookshelf, Draco grabbed his collar and pulled Harry in for another searing kiss. It held his attention immediately and he soon became lost in it.

For a long time they continued, seemingly unable to stop. They kissed until Harry's lips began to tingle with numbness and all he could taste was Draco. The blond finally stopped him with a soft sigh against his mouth and Harry just let his forehead rest against his lovers.

"Harry," Draco whispered, his voice little more than a distant, airy sigh, "I have something I want to talk to you about."

Harry nodded absently, already busying himself with pressing his fatigued lips along the sharp line of Draco's jaw, "I'm listening, love," He muttered.

Draco sighed again, this time more forcefully and went silent for a moment. He was struggling with himself, Harry could tell.

"It's just…" Draco started softly, "I was thinking earlier. I want…" Draco's chest lifted as he took a deep breath, "I want to …_try_ again."

Harry lifted his head and looked at Draco's sheepish expression. It was so out of character it made Harry forget what he was about to say. It took him a few seconds pause to remember.

"I don't understand, Draco. What's changed?" Harry asked honestly. He'd been a bit hesitant to ask. He was never sure exactly how relationships worked having never had a successful one before this. He'd certainly never had a conventional one. He had wondered if perhaps he and Draco had only had sex so often because of their youth and stress levels of the time. Maybe real relationships just weren't like that.

So he'd left Draco alone about it; it wasn't as if he could force him. However, he had to admit, he was curious.

Draco's pale eyes shone with trepidation when he finally made eye contact with Harry, "A lot," He said plainly, "An entire war."

Harry nodded even though he wasn't sure how the war would have affected Draco's libido so long after it was over.

"Well… _yeah_," Harry allowed, "But I don't think everyone's been… er, having this problem."

Draco slouched and his hands clasped together. He didn't actually start wringing them, but he seemed close to it, "I'm not sure how to explain Harry. I'm not even sure I should _try_ to explain. But I think I can overcome this. I'll just need you to be patient."

"Patience is my middle name. Have you seen the insanely high maintenance man I'm dating?"

Draco smiled a little but shook his head, "I'm being serious."

Harry pulled both of Draco's hands into his own and looked him straight in the face, "I'll be whatever it is you need, you know that."

"I know," Draco echoed, "So… Can we? Try, I mean?"

Harry grinned, "I couldn't think of a better way to spend the rest of the evening."

Xx-xX

Draco would've been a filthy liar if he said he wasn't nervous as Harry led him purposefully into their bedroom. Luckily, he was a damn good filthy liar when Harry asked him. He'd been able to whisperer that he was fine without alerting the other man to the turmoil his mind was actually in.

When the Gryffindor was sufficiently convinced that this was something that Draco actually wanted, things began to move fast. Draco was lying on the bed in moments and then beginning to grow dizzy at the feeling of Harry steadily kissing his way down from Draco's ear. The only sounds in the room were heavy breath and the soft sound of Harry's lips against Draco's skin. Draco felt heat slowly overtaking him, creeping through his muscles and leaving him shuddering. His groin felt the hottest and fear followed shortly after.

Harry paused at feeling Draco tensing and looked at him, softly stroking his cheek. He didn't say a word, but the question was obvious in his expression.

Draco looked into Harry's plaintive, questioning eyes and for a moment, he considered just saying it… that he and the Dark Lord had—But no. He couldn't even think about it in the privacy of his own mind. How would he manage to say it?

He shook his head instead, "I can't explain. It just… scares me."

Harry's brow creased a little in obvious confusion, "I don't understand…"

"I know," Draco sighed, "Me either."

Harry hung his head and sighed heavily before pressing another kiss to Draco's lips. As soon as he did they both became lost for a few more minutes. Harry's tongue was so warm and soft and the way he slowly explored Draco's mouth, tracing nonsensical patterns, made the blond feel as though he was finally complete. His entire body was aching, crying out for more and only his mind was scared to reach out and take what was rightfully his.

His hands tightened around Harry's arms and his heart was thumping erratically but he wouldn't hide anymore. He couldn't. No matter what had happened in the past, he couldn't let their future suffer for it. He finally wanted this bad enough that he could ignore the heart stopping terror trying to hinder him.

Draco began undoing buttons whenever his fingers encountered them and they continued lightly kissing and touching and trying to ease themselves further into this part of their relationship that had been long neglected.

Draco's hands had been going lower and lower by the second but just before they reached their goal, Harry leaned up on his elbows and looked at Draco again.

Instead of responding with enthusiasm Harry's face showed traces of doubt, "Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you."

Draco took a moment to again thank whatever forces of the cosmos that had given him the beautiful, amazing man before pressing a soft kiss to his lips, "I'm positive."

Harry nodded and kissed him again, this time deeper. Their tongues moved seamlessly together in a rehearsed dance they'd suddenly remembered the steps to. Harry's hands were exceedingly gentle, almost hesitant as they touched him, but Draco didn't mind the treatment. While a carnal part of him cried out for more he recognized that he need to ease himself into this.

Draco let his hands wander as well, feeling the warmth of Harry's body, the way his muscles tightened and moved. Draco began to feel more alive than he had in weeks and he arched up against Harry for more. He felt the heat between Harry's legs but the fear did not swell outside of his grasp. He could still control it; keep it locked away in some tiny little corner of his mind. He instead felt burning desire to touch, to see, to taste that part of his lover again.

He reached down slowly, so that Harry would know exactly where his hand was heading. His fingers skimmed over soft cloth only feeling Harry through his pants. He grabbed the man's cock and was surprised at how much hunger it filled him with. Harry moaned wantonly, and his hips pressed forward.

Harry seemed content that this wasn't going to end badly, as it had last time and began to pull off his clothes. His bare chest was so warm and Draco couldn't stop himself from leaving soft kisses dotted along his skin. Then Harry's pants were pulled off and thrown aside leaving his hard member to spring free of its confines. This time, Draco's hand was shaking a little when it curled around. Fear hiding in his mind surged forward attempting to overtake him and Draco froze.

Harry, now knowing what he was dealing with, was quick to respond.

"Hey," He whispered, trying to bring Draco's attention back to him. He kissed his lips over and over until Draco's mind began to calm, "It's alright."

Draco nodded and shivered a little, "Sorry," he whispered.

Harry shook his head, "Don't be."

The dark haired man went right back to kissing down Draco's neck and bare chest. The touches were so sensual and Draco's body was alight with pleasure beyond what his memories had ever implied. Now the fear was being overtaken by the pleasure, instead of the other way around.

Harry's hands moved painstakingly slow as they pushed down Draco's boxers. The feeling of Harry's warm calloused hands against the smooth skin of Draco's hips was magic and his cock was already hard. Electricity was zinging through him and he slowly started stroking the cock that had been in his hand this whole time.

Harry stilled and whimpered, his muscles beginning to tremble in weakness to the pleasure overtaking him. Draco latched his lips onto the crux of Harry's neck and shoulder. He could feel the other man's pulse just beneath his lips. Harry's hand wrapped around Draco's penis and he stroked once making Draco's spine arch again in pleasure. It was such a beautiful sensation.

It was as though time was speeding up and Draco was feeling himself slip away into it. For the first time in a while, it didn't feel like a terror. When he felt Harry's lips closing around him his entire world seemed to stop and begin spinning in the other direction. His young and strong body responded accordingly but his mind felt sluggish and drunk. Pleasure was an almost unfamiliar feeling to him and it took him a moment to adjust.

Somehow, Harry seemed to remember so much of what he liked and how to touch him. Except the other man seemed to tone it down a bit in respect of Draco's hesitance. Draco's entire body was tingling from the repeated up and down of Harry's tight lips and hot, firm tongue.

Harry's hands were leaving trembles in their wake as they deftly touched all the right places at all the right times. In an embarrassingly small number of minutes Draco felt his belly tightening with lust and heat swirling through his veins.

When his orgasm hit him, his senses finally seemed to all kick in full force. Suddenly, the muffled sounds he'd been hearing became his own sharp breaths and long moans, his foggy picture of a messy black head of hair slowly moving over his lap became the man he loved. The air against his skin, the heat springing through his taut muscles all became real and for a moment, his mind was blissfully open and empty.

When his orgasm ended, he fell limp back onto the bed, feeling now how the linens were damp with his own sweat. Harry was breathing heavily against his thigh and smiling smugly. Electric green eyes glanced up at him.

"All that you remembered?"

Draco smiled and sat up to pull Harry to him, "Plus some."

With that, and some of his confident imbued into him again, Draco pushed Harry back and proceeded to return the favor for all he was worth.

Xx-XxX-xX

_Studying_…Draco thought, _I should be studying._

But Draco _wasn't_ studying. He should have been considering everyone else was, but he just… wasn't. He couldn't find it in himself to care at the moment. He was the definition of blissed out. Everything had changed thanks to the previous night he'd spent with Harry. They hadn't done more than exchange oral sex but it had been enough; it had been everything they needed. Harry was oozing self-satisfaction and contentment. Draco couldn't hardly remember the last time he'd felt this relaxed and for the first time this year, things really seemed to be on the right track.

"Oi, Draco," Ron interrupted his thoughts, "You look a little lost there. Which problem are you on?"

Draco held up his parchment with a sigh, "I'm finished. I was just…daydreaming."

Harry gave him a sarcastically doubtful look before going back to their short answer questions for transfigurations. Glancing at Hermione's parchment, you might think it was an essay.

"Don't mind him," Ginny commented from where she sat reading her own book for a different class, "He's obviously just gotten laid."

"Ginny!" Harry hissed in embarrassment, his cheeks already beginning to darken to a delightful shade of red.

The redhead looked hardly ruffled just flipping a page in her book, "May I present article number one of proof," she replied, referring to Harry's dramatic reaction.

Harry grimaced and turned to Draco with a pout on his face, "_Draco_," he whined, "Stop her."

The blond smiled to himself, "From what, Harry dear?" Draco replied, "Honesty is a virtue, you know."

"I believe you're thinking of patience," Hermione interrupted snappishly, "Which is what I have to keep reminding myself as you two become further and further distractions."

Harry had the couth to look slightly ashamed but Draco just shrugged and continued pretending to read.

"I'm actually pretty happy for you," Ginny said sincerely, "You both look cheerful and relaxed today. It's a breath of fresh air to all the sulking we usually see."

Harry looked affronted, "I do not sulk,"

"You do and we both know it so let's stop talking about it. Hermione has rather nasty stinging spells for those who distract her studying and I'd rather not be on the receiving end!" Ginny said.

Harry hmphed and frowned as he picked back up his quill. He looked very much like he was sulking.

"Article number one of proof," Draco muttered to Ginny conspiratorially making her snort. Harry kicked him under the table.

"_Honestly!_" Hermione breathed, pointedly flipping the page, "Our last year, so much to do, NEWTS and all. Just _can't_ be serious…" She was muttering to herself disjointedly.

Draco was actually considering leaving. He was already finished anyway and he knew he and Harry really were a distraction. He was just thinking about going to find Astoria when someone called his name.

"Draco!" Eli said as he rolled forward. He was then hastily shushed by everyone within hearing distance making the poor boy flush in embarrassment before continuing forward.

"Eli," Draco said, careful to keep his voice low and quiet, "Good to see you."

"Yeah, you too," Eli nodded, "H-Hey Harry," The boy greeted nervously.

But Harry, ever unwittingly charismatic grinned at him, "Hello, Eli. What brings you here?"

Eli rolled his eyes, "Homework, what else? Seems like the same for you all."

Draco nodded, "It's a necessary evil."

Eli shrugged, "I guess. So umm… Actually, I wanted to ask you something, Harry."

The Gryffindor looked up from his work, his face showing curiosity, "Umm… sure. What is it?"

"Well…" Eli started, "I'm failing potions. Professor Slughorn recommended I get a tutor and said you were the best student he'd ever had. I mean… now that I kind of know you a little. Do you think you could maybe… tutor me?"

Harry struggled not to laugh, before shaking his head, "Sorry Eli, but Professor Slughorn just likes to play favorites. I'm not that bad at potions but—"

"Not that bad?" Hermione interrupted, "Need we recall the exploding orange acid you nearly killed the entire class with?"

"Or the poisonous sludge you produced just last week when you were making that Elixir of Euphoria," Draco reminded.

Ron happily chimed in, "Or the time you were partnered with Neville and both of your noses swelled up to the size of—"

"Alright!" Harry whispered harshly, "So I'm shit at potions. Shut up."

Eli looked confused and glanced back and forth between all of them. Harry sighed and answered more succinctly, "I'm sorry, Eli, but no. I'd probably injure the both of us. But Draco's actually amazing at potions, if you want to ask him."

"You are?" Eli asked with big hopeful, hazel eyes.

Draco shrugged, "We all have our talents. I will tutor you, if you'd like."

"Of course I would!" Eli said to another round of shushes from the entire library. At this rate, Madame Pince would soon be scurrying over to scold them.

"Alright," Draco nodded, "What time would you like to meet?"

"Hmm…" Eli paused to think, his brow furrowing dramatically, "Now would be nice."

Draco rolled his eyes, "Now is fine." He was looking for an excuse to leave anyway, wasn't he?

"Wha—? Really?" Eli asked excitedly, "Awesome."

Draco stood, gathering his books and placing them in his bag, "I suppose I'll see you all later."

Everyone else muttered their goodbyes but Harry shot him an impish grin and Draco couldn't help but smile in return. He hoped that was a silent promise for tonight.

Eli was careful to be quiet on their way out of the library, but he was very talkative. As soon as the library doors were shut behind them, his voice rose in volume, the words falling from his lips almost ceaselessly. He told Draco all about the latest potion he'd been working on and what had gone wrong with it. Apparently, Eli wasn't very good at counting his stirs and making sure they were just the right speed. Potion making was a delicate art, and Draco got the feeling that Eli's personality wasn't quite suited for it.

There was only one spare potions lab unoccupied at the time, the smallest and oldest with pockmarked and scorched work tables. However, Draco was so used to hanging out down here it hardly bothered him. Eli's chair carefully got him down the stairs into the room and Draco was sure to watch him until he was on solid ground. He didn't want the boy to fall again.

"Alright, Eli, how did you do on your last Swelling Potion?" Draco asked.

Eli's mouth twisted a little in displeasure, "I got a pass, but just barely."

"Let's start with that then. If you can't master that, there's no way you'll ever make a passable Shrinking Solution," Draco told him as he went to the cabinet and pulled out ingredients. He grabbed one of the old school cauldrons, one with the least amount of grime sticking to it and took it back out the table setting up the station.

He led Eli carefully through the motions, making sure to explain each ingredient and what it would do to the potion as they made it.

"So when gurdyroot is crushed instead of diced, it has the opposite effect?"

"Exactly," Draco nodded, "Adding it sliced would likely lead to burst blood vessels instead of swelling. So you must be very careful to only crush it with a blunt object."

"Geez," Eli said adding the crushed root and stirring carefully on Draco's instruction, "I wish Slughorn would take the time to explain this stuff."

Draco scoffed, "He's a bit busy playing favorites to offer sound potion making advice. Stop stirring, you'll overwork it."

Eli smiled up at him, and Draco realized Eli reminded him of someone, though he wasn't sure who.

"Thanks," the boy said, "You're a life saver you know."

Draco ducked his head a bit, feeling flattered. The eyes of a young boy probably couldn't see him as he actually was.

Before he could respond, Eli continued, "A lot of people say bad things about you and other Slytherins. But I think you lot are all right. I've never seen you be cruel to anyone at least."

Draco smiled patronizingly, "Well you were quite young during the war, but many terrible things did happen."

"You did terrible things?" Eli asked with the fearless shame of a child.

Draco's expression tightened a bit, "Yes, Eli. We all did. The light and dark sides were both unscrupulous at times."

"Oh…" the boy mumbled stirring distractedly, "But everyone says the light side was good."

"They were better than the Death Eaters," Draco said, "But they're still just people with faults and imperfections. Stir counterclockwise after you add those frog knuckles."

Eli obeyed his commands easily, but he had a smile on his face again, "Except Harry of course."

"What?" Draco asked confused.

"Harry. Everything he did was _amazing_," Eli grinned excitedly, "Did he tell you that he rode a dragon?"

"Yes," Draco nodded, "A dragon that he stole from Gringotts. I suppose they don't emphasize that as much."

Eli's eyes were wide as saucers and the potion was bubbling ominously as it was neglected, "He _stole from Gringotts!_ Whoa!"

"That's a criminal act, you know," Draco pointed out, "You must remember, in a war, neither side is good. The only thing you must consider is which on is worse."

"Yeah," Eli nodded, quickly going back to the potion as it began to boil loudly. Adding the powdered dragon egg shell calmed the potion a bit. It only needed to simmer for a few minutes before adding the last two ingredients and stirring once.

"I guess I never thought that the light side could be criminals…" Eli continued as he skimmed down the ingredients list in his book to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything, "Ephraim always says the ends justify the—"

"Ephraim?" Draco interrupted and when Eli looked up again, Draco knew exactly where he'd seen those hazel eyes before.

"Yeah," Eli shrugged, "My brother. Hey, isn't he in your year?"

Xx-XxX-xX

Harry went out to play a short seeker's game with Ginny after they finished studying. It'd been fun but he wasn't surprised to have won. Ginny was quick on a broom, but Harry noticed her attention span seemed a bit shorter than before. But then, she also didn't train regularly as a seeker so perhaps he was just imagining it.

They were walking back to Harry's room. He'd invited her to come in and have a Butterbeer with him. They really didn't spend much time together and Harry missed it. She'd been the one to help him pick up the pieces of his shattered heart and move on to defeat Voldemort. Without her, they might all still be at war. From Harry's perspective, she'd been as important a player in the war as Snape had.

Lisa greeted them kindly with a curtsey and the portrait door swung open. Inside, Astoria stood up from the sofa and smiled, "Oh, Harry. Good to see you. Do you know if Draco's around?"

Harry dropped his broom in shock. He couldn't help the frown on his face. He tried to control it, but the sight of her, sitting in his one safe haven made his stomach twist with discontent.

"He's not here?" Ginny asked leaning her broom against the arm of the sofa, "How did you get in?"

"Oh," Astoria smiled, brushing some of her hair back from her shoulder, "The kind girl in the portrait let me in. I— Harry!"

Harry walked back outside and quickly closed the door before either Ginny or Astoria could follow him out, "Lisa," He scowled, "We really need to talk about security."

The little girl's eyes were wide and she sucked in her bottom lip as though she might cry, "O-Okay… I'm sorry, whatever I've done."

"You let in Astoria!" Harry nearly shouted, throwing his arms up in outrage, "You can't just let people in to my room without my permission! That's dangerous. You're meant to be protecting my room, not deciding for yourself who can and can't come in! It doesn't matter how nice they seem or if I've let them in before. You can't—"

"Harry!" Draco's voice interrupted his tirade and a heavy hand came down on his shoulder, "What the hell is the matter with you?"

Harry glared at Draco, "She let in Astoria, without even—"

"But I gave Astoria the password," Draco said.

"You what!" Harry shouted shoving the blond away from him. He felt betrayed. Their room was supposed to be an escape from the stresses of outside. How the hell was Harry supposed to relax knowing _Astoria_ could come waltzing in any minute!

Draco ignored his outburst and turned to Lisa. The girl was biting her lip hard, painted tears streaming down her face, "Did Astoria give you the password?" he asked.

She nodded once, sniffling and Harry felt his anger began draining from him as though someone had pulled the plug. He sighed, and put his face in his hands for a minute.

"I'm-m sorry…" Lisa whispered before running away, her yellow dress flashing through the other portraits.

Draco didn't comment but the look on his face when Harry finally braved a look at him said he was not pleased. Wordlessly, the blond opened the now unguarded portrait door to find Ginny and Astoria sitting beside each other.

Ginny looked a bit spaced out, reminiscent of Luna, but there was a frown pulling down on her lips. Astoria had a hand to her chest and was pale as a ghost.

"I suppose you heard all of that," Draco said walking inside. Harry followed with his head down, only because he didn't want to be left out in the hall alone.

"Not words exactly, but shouting," Ginny clarified, "We decided to wait it out."

Draco turned to Harry, an expectant look on his face and Harry stared back defiantly. He was still pissed that Draco had given someone else the password to their room. He was too angry to feel truly remorseful, but he tried to work his face into a calmer expression. He faced Astoria and Ginny before mumbling, "I'm sorry."

Astoria shook her head, "It's alright, Harry. I understand how touchy everyone's nerves have been after the war."

"Considering how relaxed you were before, it was a bit surprising to see you blow up like that," Ginny responded, disapproval in her voice, "Maybe you should lie down. We'll save the Butterbeer for another day."

Harry sighed in frustration, "No, Gin, please. It's alright, I'm alright."

"I know you are, Harry," the redhead smiled as she stood, "Which is why you'll manage for a night without me."

Ginny picked up her broom from where it rested against the arm of the couch and began to leave. Astoria stood as well, "I think I'll leave as well, if you don't mind, Draco. We can talk some other time."

Draco nodded and stepped forward to hug her making Harry's fists clench so hard he thought his nails might draw blood, "Alright," Draco said to her, "Stop by tomorrow please." His voice was so gentle when he spoke to her, and Harry felt like fire was clouding his vision, seeing Draco's smile directed at another.

"Let's walk together," Ginny offered, opening the door for Astoria. The Slytherin girl seemed taken aback by the proposition but readily walked beside Ginny as they exited the room.

It was silent for a moment before Draco pulled off his robes and threw them over the back of the sofa. He didn't speak to Harry, only began walking around the sitting room as though looking for something. Harry stood like a statue, his eyes following Draco, unsure what to say.

Finally the blond stopped and crouched, reaching underneath an end table. He pulled up a shivering little ball of white fur and gently cradled the terrified kitten to his chest. Blue snuggled to her master, still trembling and Draco stood about to head for their bedroom without another word.

"I said I was sorry," Harry said, stilling Draco in his tracks.

The blond scoffed, his back still to Harry as he faced their bedroom door, "You're not half as good a liar as you think you are, Harry."

Harry scowled bitterly before stomping over and grabbing Draco's shoulder to turn him around, "Alright, so I'm not sorry. Why would you give her the password to our room?"

Draco looked confused and angry, "Why wouldn't I? You've given Ron the password before."

Harry sputtered a bit, "B-But that's different. He's a boy, and I changed it right after!"

"You didn't change it for three days," Draco corrected with a sharp glare, "And what does gender have to do with this?"

"Because!" Harry shouted, catching a whiff of jasmine perfume as he stepped closer to Draco, "Because she and you—You two were…" Harry trailed not sure what else to say.

Draco's face had lost most of its anger now and was showing pure confusion, "You think _Astoria and I_ were—"

"Weren't you?" Harry asked seriously, feeling trepidation tingling through his limbs.

Draco let out an incredulous laugh, "God, no! Merlin, Harry is that what all this is about?"

Harry bit his lip looking away, "But you two are so close. And sometimes you smell like her and it just…"

Draco rolled his eyes and took a step back as though considering in his head how to deal with this situation, "Harry, Astoria and I are no closer and you and Ginny are, and likely even less interested in each other. After all, we never dated."

Harry's mouth twisted a bit as he thought about that. Draco had never once complained about him spending time with Ginny, even during their sixth year. He'd only ever complained when Harry had kissed her and continued pretending to date her. Hell, Draco had actually encouraged him and Ginny to stay friends.

"You promise?" Harry asked looking up at Draco, "You promise she and you never did anything?"

Draco's face was serious but he looked almost hurt that Harry would even imply such a thing. Harry didn't want to hurt Draco, he didn't want to imply that Astoria and he had ever been anything more than friends. But he felt it, whenever he looked at them together.

"I promise," Draco said and Harry let out the breath he'd been holding. Draco never broke a promise.

"I'm an asshole, aren't I?" Harry asked, looking up sheepishly into Draco's face.

The blond nodded and Harry cursed before chuckling and running a hand through his hair, "I've been worrying about nothing."

"Glad to see you understand that," Draco replied.

There was a brief pause before Harry cleared his throat and said, "You know how hard it is to argue with you when you're holding a kitten?"

Draco's mouth hesitantly curved up into a smile; he was trying to resist it but he ended up laughing. Harry joined him a second later, starting feel more like himself again.

"How about you, Astoria and I spend some time together?" Draco suggested, "I think you might just be jealous of her because you don't know her well enough."

"Jealous?" Harry questioned, his eyes wide, "No, no, no. I wasn't _jealous_. I was just— It's different than that."

Draco raised one eyebrow in clear disbelief, but just shook his head at Harry's adamant refusal and turned to enter their bedroom. Draco had placed Blue's bed in the corner near the bathroom and Harry watched as the blond man gently placed the kitten there and wished her goodnight. It was strange to see someone whom Harry knew could be ruthless be so very compassionate. Harry leaned on the doorjamb and watched, feeling awful that he'd chased away both of their friends with his outburst, but sort of happy to have Draco all to himself.

"Are you going to stay up much longer?" Draco asked as he sat down on the bed and pulled off his shoes.

Harry shrugged and walked forward slowly. He sat down on the bed beside Draco and smiled slyly, "I dunno. I was wondering how badly I've fucked the evening."

"Pretty badly," Draco answered honestly, still not paying much attention as he unbuttoned his shirt.

"Badly enough that I couldn't kiss you right now?" Harry asked, his eyes looking up longingly.

Draco's brows drew together and he snorted a laugh, "Never thought you were one for all that alpha male 'marking your territory' shit."

Harry growled in frustration, "Come on! I was _not_ jealous."

Draco was pulling off his belt now, his bare chest tantalizingly close. After last night, Harry remembered clearly how all that pale skin tasted and he wanted _more_ of it.

"You were amazingly jealous. I was when you were with Ginny so I know exactly what it looks like," Draco replied, still sounding decidedly underwhelmed by their conversation.

Unable to take Draco's apparent lack of interest Harry grabbed his shoulders and tackled him onto the bed, "Fine," He said roughly, "I was jealous. If I'm honest with myself I still am. But I love you Draco and I just want to kiss you right now."

Before the last word was out of Harry's mouth, Draco kissed him. It was like a bucket of water on the little jealousy flame that had been smoldering in Harry's belly. He felt better almost instantly, assured that Draco was his and his alone.

Draco pulled away, amusement in his pale eyes, "This is definitely not part of a healthy relationship," he commented before kissing Harry again.

Harry moaned against Draco's lips in agreement, his hands releasing Draco's shoulders and gently caressing his skin. In the brief breaks between their lips, Harry spoke, his words often cut off as Draco continued kissing him, "I remember, we used to have sex angry at each other, or that time you made me beg to suck your cock…"

Draco groaned at the memory and Harry found his hand slipping down to the waistband of Draco's trousers, searching blindly for his fly, "That certainly isn't what most would call healthy."

Before he could do more than flick the first button open, Draco grabbed his wrist. Harry paused, looking up to see Draco's lips downturned into a frown though his pupils were dilated and his cheeks were flushed.

"I don't know," He whispered softly, and Harry knew what he meant.

He sighed, trying not to feel disappointment. It was wrong to feel that way. He had to keep himself in check and just stay supportive, right? If Draco wasn't up to it, there was nothing Harry could do.

"I'll go really, slow," Harry whispered, ignoring how pitiful his voice sounded, "I promise to stop whenever you say."

Draco sighed heavily and looked into Harry's eyes for a long moment. Harry felt Draco's warm hand slide across his cheek, his fingers gently moving the hair from his eyes. When Draco's palm passed by close to his lips, Harry kissed it, still keeping eye contact. He waited patiently for whatever Draco's response would be.

Finally the blond replied, "Okay." At Harry's wide grin he added, "But _slow_."

"My middle name," Harry muttered already dipping his head to kiss along Draco's neck.

"I thought it was patience," Draco replied his hand tangling in Harry's dark hair as he turned his head to offer his neck for more kisses.

"You said it was Winifred," Harry replied with a rough nip just over Draco's pulse.

The blond jerked and laughed, "Shut up, Harry."

Harry was more than happy to oblige.

It took them a few minutes to get ready, especially since they seemed to pause every few seconds to kiss each other. Draco was already halfway undressed so that was simple, but Harry hated all the time it took him to take off his own clothes. Each time he had to lean away from their kisses to undo a button or pull off an article of clothing, his lips felt cold and needy. Wasn't there a spell to get naked faster?

Draco was now wearing just his boxers, positioning himself in the center of the bed. He sat up against the head board, watching as Harry stumbled, nearly tumbling to the floor, in his haste to get his pants off.

Harry was about to pull off his own boxers but he could see the apprehension on Draco's face. He left them on for the moment, figuring they could be pulled off in a hurry later. Harry had to be gentle, he promised he would be. He moved slowly, leading Draco into long, warm, unassuming kisses. He didn't rush into anything, only letting things happen as naturally as possible.

Draco was slow to loosen up, but Harry noticed as the man's stiff shoulders began to slump, his eyes fell half-lidded and his throat relaxed letting more quiet moans slip out.

Slowly but surely, Draco began to ease himself downwards until they were actually lying down, nearly naked. Harry checked Draco's expression, glad to find it calm before swinging his leg over and straddling Draco's hips. The Slytherin swallowed once, and his face tightened a fraction but he still seemed alright.

"This okay?" Harry asked, rocking his hips once and feeling something warm and firm beneath him.

"Y-Yeah," Draco whispered in a shuddering breath, his hands resting on Harry's hips.

Harry leaned in for another kiss, feeling the way Draco melted beneath him. He was considering what they should do. Was Draco ready to actually have sex? Should Harry just suck him off again?

Draco was tentatively rocking his hips up against Harry's which was so wonderful Harry started having trouble thinking at all. It wasn't so much physically affecting as it was psychologically. Draco was finally responding again; Harry had been waiting _months_ for this.

Harry was pressing wet kisses along Draco's slightly scratchy jawline. He'd apparently forgotten to shave. When he reached the man's ear, he spoke, "I want to ride you, that okay?"

He knew it was true the moment he said it. A moment ago, he hadn't known what he wanted but now he wanted Draco's cock inside him so bad he thought he might sob if he was refused. Draco likely wasn't ready to let Harry top; something to do with his urge to have rigid control over everything. But perhaps if Draco were the one on top, he'd feel more comfortable. Harry didn't move, hardly even breathed while he awaited Draco's answer.

The blond finally licked his darkened lips and replied, "Yes," in a low hiss.

Harry couldn't help but groan at the idea of it. It'd been so fucking long. He wondered if he could even take it right away. Probably not, honestly…

Slowly, so as not to alarm his partner, Harry removed their underwear, throwing it over the edge of the bed into the black abyss that was the rest of the world. If there was one wandless spell Harry got a lot of practice with, even when he was by himself, it was the lubrication charm. He still had it mastered and he used it now, touching Draco's warm cock and stroking it. He noticed the other man wasn't completely hard and he had to stroke him and kiss him a lot to work him up to it.

He stopped when he noticed Draco's muscles tensing again, though he didn't know what caused it.

_Don't get frustrated, Harry. You've got to just stay patient. Wait for him, however long it takes_, Harry thought to himself as he removed his hand from Draco's cock and just kissed his face, waiting for him.

Draco took a few deep breaths, his eyes showing the barest hints of shame, "I'm sorry," he mumbled.

_Why does he keep saying that?_ Harry wondered. It wasn't the first time he'd thought it. But whenever he tried to pry into the Draco's sudden sexual problems he was promptly shut out. And usually kept out for far longer than he might've been had he kept his mouth shut. So Harry didn't verbally question it, he just sighed and kissed Draco's forehead saying, "You have no reason to be."

Harry waited a few more minutes, even though the tension in his own body was becoming unbearable. He softly touched Draco's skin, and nuzzled his neck, trying to remind him that this was an act of love not pure need. While he was busy reassuring his lover, Harry reached back and tested his entrance with his slick fingers. He shuddered, still as sensitive as before at least, but it felt pretty tight. When he glanced up at Draco's face, he saw that the blond was watching and that made the heat in Harry's belly go up a notch.

Harry inserted his finger slowly, feeling the way the muscle gave and trying to gauge how much stretching he'd need. Draco was watching, his eyes slightly more alert than they were a moment ago. When Harry slipped in a second finger he couldn't hold back his groan. He felt when Draco's hand covered his, when he started slowly pushing Harry's fingers in deeper.

Harry hummed in approval and spread his legs a little wider, feeling Draco's cock slide against his hipbone. Harry pushed in a third finger and Draco touched around the rim of the stretched hole making Harry gasp. Harry moved his fingers back and forth for a few minutes, feeling that part of his body relax as though it had never forgotten what to do.

"Ready?" Harry asked.

Draco didn't look exactly how Harry remembered him. He didn't look uninhibited and lusty. He looked intense, as though he had to think far too hard in order to do this. But he could tell that Draco wanted him and wanted this to happen.

Harry reached down to position Draco's still slick member, stroking it a few times as he placed the head at his entrance. He pushed his hips down gently and watched as Draco bit his lip hard. When the head slipped in, Draco gasped like cold water had been thrown over him. Harry swallowed thickly, relaxing his muscles and slowly rocking his hips further and further downwards.

"F-Fuck," Draco choked out, his hands clenching, his face flushing darker.

"Almost," Harry replied, as he tried to work his internal muscles to suck Draco in deeper.

Draco sniggered once in appreciation of Harry's joke before he was moaning again, his body rigid under the power of such ecstasy.

Finally, Harry's ass settled against Draco's hips. Now the real fun could start.

"Come on," Harry encouraged, kissing Draco's tired, swollen lips, "Rock for me."

Draco responded gradually, but his body got used to the motion soon. They established a rhythm, slow and deep, and stuck to it. Harry was raising and lowering his hips as best he could while still bent over Draco. He didn't care that his back sort of hurt and after a few minutes his thighs started burning from exertion. It felt so good to have Draco inside of him.

He'd been concentrating so much on just getting to this point, he'd hardly been thinking about how amazing it felt. It felt amazing to have the silky skin of Draco's shaft rubbing against his sensitive rim. It felt even more amazing to feel the burning heat of Draco's arousal buried deep inside his body. The sensation of Draco slipping in and out steadily made Harry feel as though his skin was set alight.

"Good," Harry moaned thoughtlessly, "So fucking _good_."

Draco's hands squeezed Harry's hips and he started thrusting upwards with more force. The blond's head was tilted back, his eyes closed, his mouth letting out the most delicious moans. Harry reached down to touch his own cock, still hard and nearly entirely neglected. As soon as his hand wrapped around it he knew they were nearing the end.

Draco was thrusting faster and his nails were digging into Harry's skin. Harry was pushing his hips down to meet Draco each time. His insides felt like they were melting from the heat and friction. Then Harry shifted his hips and quickly became reacquainted with his prostate.

"Oh fuck!" He shouted, "Yes, Draco. Just _there_…"

Draco reached up with one hand to grab Harry's tangle of black hair and pull him into a scorching kiss. Having his hair pulled actually sent tingles down his spine instead of pain, or maybe that's just because he was in the middle of having sex.

_We really are. We're having sex. God, I hope we never stop!_

But that was a hopeless wish, Harry knew it had to end and he was actually looking forward to it. Not because the sex would be over, but because he wanted to come. He wanted Draco to come inside of him. The thought made his muscles tighten in anticipation.

"Harry," Draco was whispering against Harry's lips, his voice quivering, "Harry, I love you."

Harry whimpered feeling his chest clench in a way that was almost painful, "Love you too," he managed to grunt before pressing more kisses to whatever parts of Draco he could reach. Honestly, he didn't know which body parts he was kissing sometimes.

"I can't anymore!" Draco cried out, thrusting up with almost bruising force and sending shockwaves of pleasure all the way up through Harry's body.

"Don't stop," Harry urged, "Please… Please don't stop."

Draco was ramming Harry just right, hitting his prostate dead on nearly every time. Harry's hand had stilled nearly to a stop on his own cock, just the warm squeeze of his hand was enough to bring him over the edge right now. He was trying to hold out, trying to make it last as long as possible.

Harry knew the exact second when Draco was at the point of no return. The hand still trapped in his hair squeezed tight and Draco choked on the moan that was halfway out of his throat. His hips slowed; he thrust hard, a few more times. Then his back arched and his eyes rolled backe, his body emptying its seed as he sucked in deep, hungry breaths.

Harry enjoyed the last few thrusts, feeling wetness inside himself that he knew was Draco's cum. It only took him a few quick strokes of his hand to finish himself off, pleasure still radiating from his entrance. His orgasm hit him so hard he couldn't breathe; he even saw stars, little bursts of light behind his eyelids. He came on Draco's stomach, thick spurts leaving lines of semen striped up and down the blond's scarred skin.

Draco's eyes were wide, staring up at the ceiling. His pupils were blown so wide that only a fraction of the usual blue-gray was visible. When Harry kissed him though, Draco responded, his lips moving lethargically and his eyes slipping closed. Harry slumped down on top of his lover, his body exhausted.

They took a few minutes to catch their breath, hands still trailing over warm skin, lips still tiredly kissing whenever they could.

"How was it?" Harry finally asked when he could speak.

A grin slowly curled into Draco's face, "Perfect," he breathed.

Harry smiled in return and then gently pulled himself off of Draco. His entrance twitched a bit as Draco's limp cock slipped from him and he knew he'd likely be feeling sore tomorrow. He didn't care. Harry flopped down tiredly on the bed next to Draco, feeling heavy and relaxed.

He heard and felt the bed dip when Draco leaned over to grab his wand from the bedside table and cast a quick cleaning charm over the cooling semen on their chests, and what was slowly dripping down Harry's thighs.

Harry was sure he tried to say thank you, be he wasn't sure if the words actually managed to make it out or if they made the slightest bit of sense. He was so _drained_.

Before he could stop himself, before he could reassure Draco with more kisses and caresses, he was slipping off into a deep, deep sleep.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Harry took in a deep breath, slowly waking up. Draco's hand was on his chest, warm and heavy, just over his heart. The blankets had been pulled up over them and Harry could feel the rest of Draco's naked body pressed against his side.

He opened his eyes and suddenly, it was like someone had thrown a wet comforter over him. He felt it settle like a spell deep in his muscles and realized that he couldn't move. Panic began to radiate through him. He felt so out of control of his body he couldn't tell if he was breathing. He was trying to suck in breaths, but his chest was burning and—

Harry looked up when he felt himself being watched. It was blurry without his glasses but a hooded being was slowly floating towards him. Harry felt the happiness leaving his body, felt anger and despair taking its place. It was a dementor. Adrenaline pulsed through his veins and he struggled even harder against his invisible bonds.

He could tell, even though he couldn't see the creature's face that he was about to get the kiss. He was going to have his soul sucked out. He stared up in terror at the shadowed empty hood, and realized this was the end. But just as the demon was leaning over him, Harry trying desperately to scream, Draco stirred.

There was a pause as both Harry and the dementor's attention were drawn to the blond. When Harry looked back at the creature, he knew its target had changed.

_No,_ Harry tried to say, _No, don't you fucking touch him. Leave him alone!_

It was useless, he couldn't even move his pinkie finger and Draco was laying there, his head snuggled close to Harry's shoulder, his lips slightly parted. His face looked innocent in sleep, lax and trusting. Harry was fighting as hard as he could, but he was starting to feel dizzy, his eyelids felt heavy. He still couldn't breathe and little black spots were starting to blink into his vision.

He was going to die. Or Draco was going to die. He was going to have to see Draco die. Harry felt his eyes get wet at the corners, felt his tears streaming down to his temples as he lay there helpless.

_I can't breathe. I can't breathe!_ Harry internally screamed in alarm,_ Please, don't touch him. Don't hurt him! Go away, just g—_

"GO AWAY!" Harry screamed at the top of his lungs as he surged up from the bed, nearly throwing Draco off of it.

The blond let out a startled yelp and caught himself before he fell off the edge of the bed. He was shaking, his eyes wide and searching for a threat before they settled on Harry. Harry was breathing hard, feeling nauseous and trying to blink away the little black dots still swimming in his vision.

He was sitting straight up, his heart pounding so hard he could feel his pulse throughout his whole body. Now that it was over, he knew what it was. He remembered. Apparently, Draco did too because his face changed from scared to pitying.

The blond shakily exhaled the breath he'd been holding and sat down beside Harry, gently touching his shoulder. At the touch, Harry wasn't able to keep himself together anymore.

He collapsed in on himself, drawing his knees up and holding his face with both hands letting out a heart-wrenching groan. He heard Draco suck in a sharp breath, he felt the other man's hand now trembling where it sat on his shoulder, but he couldn't even reassure him because he was choking on sobs and shaking so hard he thought he thought he might actually throw up.

He cried for a long time like that, trying to remind himself that it was over; they were both alive and it'd only been his imagination. But he knew now, it was not a singular occurrence. It'd happened twice. It would happen again. The fear of it was stifling and Harry again felt he had to struggle to breathe.

"I-It's okay," Draco whispered, his own voice sounding weak like he might be close to tears, "It's okay, Harry. I'm here."

Harry turned and wrapped his arms around Draco, sobbing onto his naked shoulder. He felt better as soon as Draco's arms were around him, but only by a fraction. He was still scared from how powerful it had been. But he was also scared that he was losing his mind, that this would happen more frequently and that there would be no way to escape it.

"I'm sorry," Harry tried to say, but his throat was so raw from crying it came out as hardly a squeak.

"It's okay," Draco repeated and Harry was sure the other man was close to tears now, just from the sound of his voice, "Don't be sorry, love. I've got you."

_I'll never sleep again_, Harry thought to himself as Draco rocked him and gently cooed sweet, comforting words into his ear, _**Never.**_

* * *

><p>...<p>

* * *

><p>It's twenty pages, so I hope it was kind of worth the horrendous wait. Don't forget to vote in the poll. I'm excited to see what my readers (the few of you that have stuck around) actually think.<p>

Leave a review if you feel the urge. 3


End file.
